Showing posts with label DanceMum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DanceMum. Show all posts

Thursday 13 January 2022

I'm Back!

Hello my lovelies, how are you all?  

Ok, if you follow my facebook page I said my first post this year would be about books, but I've decided to give a brief overview about everything instead. And if you don't follow my facebook page, why on earth not?? Tut, tut, tut. 😜 Here's the link again, so you have no excuse: https://www.facebook.com/MusingsMiddleagedMum


So, I purposely had a break for Christmas, and it was needed.  I've come back this year feeling refreshed and ready to go.  Last week, however, I went to get ready for my first tutorial and my my computer had died.


Not only did the Automatic Repair not work, it wouldn't move off this screen.  I cancelled my tutorials and left it to my techy husband (they do have their uses, lol).  He used some techy magic to recover most of my files, but he couldn't get windows to work.  We wiped everything, started again, and windows still wouldn't work.  He even installed Linux, and even that operating system wouldn't work.  The hard disk was dead as dead can be.

After having to handwrite a comparison spreadsheet (I'm not joking, I am that geeky, and it took two A4 pages), I decided upon and bought a new laptop. Yey!  There are a couple of snags* with it, that I'm sure will be able to be sorted quickly, but overall I'm really pleased with it.
* There is automatically a background noise remover thingy on the microphone, which would be great, except now it stops my headset working with zoom when tutoring.  The only way to bypass is to not use my headset, so all my tutees are rewarded with sounds of my dogs barking in the background.  Should be a simple fix; husband will look at it later.
* Everything on my laptop is automatically saving to One Drive.  I use One Drive for music and photos, but all my large tutoring or Ed Free documents, I do not need nor want saving all the time.  It means I'm getting lots of notifications saying One Drive is full, and adverts where I can buy infinite (nearly) space for only £££ each month.  Again, a simple fix, but I'm ignoring it for now.

What's new with me? Well, yesterday was 20 years since I asked my (now) husband to go out with me.  Very forward of me, but he was/is shyer than me, if you can believe such a thing. Actually, if you know me now, you probably can believe it, but 20 years ago I was a mouse in comparison.  I thought he fancied me, and asked a couple of my friends a few months earlier, and they said that I was just imagining it, and he was just a good friend.  Anyway, in the January, we went back to uni and there was a party a friend of a friend was throwing and we tagged along.  We got drunk enough for me to ask him if he fancied me and for him to say yes - and then I ignored it and continued with the party!  It wasn't until I couldn't sleep that night, because everything was rolling around my head, that I went up to his room and asked him to go out with me, and then went back downstairs to go to sleep. I then didn't see him for 24hrs, because I was at a football match, and wasn't sure if he would remember or if he thought it was a mistake or what.  Ancient history it is, as we're now married, 17 years this coming August, with 2 kids, 2 dogs, and still happy.

I have started reading again - hurray! I don't think I had read anything seriously since about October.  I tend not to read much in December, because it's tacky Christmas movie season, but I had missed reading.  I don't have as much time to read as previously, only an hour on a Saturday of dedicated reading time (except when/if I read a good book, and it takes over my life for a few days), but I'm glad to have started reading regularly again.

And I've started calorie counting.  After hitting my heaviest weight ever after Christmas, I am properly tracking my food in MFP and have been meal prepping. I'm only on week 2, so it's not an established habit yet, but I have lost weight already, which keeps me motivated.

I'm going to my first naturist/clothing optional event for what seems like forever tonight.  Covid, of course, has stopped everything, but theatres are starting to reopen, so my husband and I are going to a clothing optional showing tonight, so that will be fun.

What's not new with me? Still tutoring maths.  Still involved in the home ed world.  Still have my personal trainer twice a week. Still going to church. Still ferrying the girls to dance every night of the week. Still me.

And that's about it!  I hope you all had a good Christmas and New years.  I did.  And that you are well xx


Sunday 31 October 2021

And another month goes by...

 I'm reminded of the song from Come From Away that sings "And then another, and then another, and then..."


TLDR: 
So this past month, we have had covid in the house, we have had a dance festival, we have had uncertainty around DD1's surgery, we have had exhaustion from school, we have had good days out over half term, we have eaten too much and not exercised enough, though I have exercised some.  I have watched a fair bit of TV and not read much (which tbh hasn't helped my MH much) because I know how far behind I am of the reviews of books that I have read over the summer, and I'm behind on my paid work too.  

Positives:
DD1 came 3rd in her Tap Solo at the dance festival.
DD1 & DD2 came 1st in their Caberet Group dance at the festival.
I have gone on some runs when I've not seen my PT, and am s...l...o...w...l...y increasing in speed.  Still nearly an hour to run (and walk) 5Km, but under an hour nonetheless.
I have watched my first Christmas film of the season.
Despite being fully booked and not advertising at all, I am still getting enquiries about maths tuition.
My house is slowly becoming more organised.
I am trying to catch up on reviews a couple at a time.


Thursday 23 September 2021

And another month goes by...



So, I'm still seeing my PT twice a week.  My weight was still going up, and I almost hit 100kilos, which I've never been before.  But, I am still decreasing my size, and have even dropped a bra size when I got measured recently.


As sexy as I look in a bra and a pair of shorts (not!), I am pleased that even *I* can see that my back-fat is going, and I now have a waist again.

Both my girls are now in school, as DD2 recently started year 7.  She does enjoy it, but is very tired.  Having gone from needing 10-12 hours sleep a night, to having to leave the house at 7.30am, return near 5, then rush straight to dance lessons and often doesn't get home aain until 9.30 or 10pm, is a bit of a shock for her.

As schools have gone back, I'm tutoring again now.  My days have changed this year, so I work Tuesday mornings, Wednesday mornings and Thursday afternoons.  I don't have much free time, though, as I'm still involved with Home Education locally, nationally and politically.  (Ok, I don't know if 'politically' makes any sense in that sentence, but the rhythm made me feel like it needed a third thing there.)

I am trying to read too, but that has slowed somewhat.  As I don't need to wait at dance in the evenings anymore, I don't have as much time to read.  Also, in the few gaps I've had during the day, I have had a bit of a TV binge, watching non-kids TV during the day! Very exciting.  I have recently watched Sex Eduction, Love on the Spectrum, Motherland, and I was getting into Making a Murderer, until my husband joined me one day, and now I'm 'not allowed' to watch it without him.  Yet, since then, we haven't watched it together at all, so if he's not careful I'm going to continue watching it and just not tell him, lol.

And yes, I am aware that I haven't caught up with the book reviews I said I would write a month ago.  Despite everything I've written here (and this feels like a lot to me), I've even more things going on.

DD1 has been having mini absence seizures/blackouts for a while, though she didn't tell me that they had become frequent until last October.  I told her to keep a diary in case it was related to what she had been eating or time of the month or anything like that, and we made an appointment to see the GP.  Fast forward to February, and we were referred to hospital to see a neurologist and to have an EEG.  As part of this, they gave DD1 a general health check and discovered she had a heart murmur.  Not a big surprise or concern as my husband had one when he was little, but they referred us for an ECG.  And another.  And an echo.  And a heart consultant who told use they would be bringing in the big-guns from a nearby city to look at her heart, because she has a hole in her heart.  As you can imagine, this was a bit of a shock, given she was 13yo at the time, fit as a fiddle, loads of dance, and zero symptoms (breathlessness, fatigue, palpatations or enlargement of the heart).

Anyway, we saw the big-gun heart consultant, who did another ECG and echo (which incidentally, is really interesting, as the computor automatically colours the blood blue and red depending on whether the blood has been oxygenised or not).  She confirmed that the hole in the heart is nothing to do with the mini blackouts DD1 had been having, and because the EEG was clear, they (the hospital) are not following that up at the moment.  However, DD1 does not have a hole in her heart - she has two plus a leaky valve! (It's a partial AVSD for anyone who wants to google it.) Due to where the holes are located, they cannot go up the leg/groin to close it, but she will need open heart surgery.  But, it isn't urgent, because she has no other symptoms, so don't worry about it too much.  It's a fairly straightforward procedure, etc etc, and just has to be done before she becomes an adult, as if left unfixed, it could cause massive problems when she's in her 20s and 30s.

Then over the summer we had a virtual consulatation with a surgeon, who said they expected surgery to be in October!  DD1 would have to be in hospital for at least a week, at least a month off school, at least 3 months off dancing.  All of a sudden this became very real!  Due to dance festivals finally starting up again (and the enxt one being in October) we have asked for the surgery to be postponed until the summer term, but we will follow the guidance of the consultant.  Meanwhile, DD1 has had even more hospital appointments, and had to wear a 24hr heart monitor, and been asked to participate in research before/after surgery, so my suspician is that it will be sooner, rather than later.

Oh, and we have got a second dog, Luna.




Wednesday 21 April 2021

It's been nearly a month!!!

My poor neglected blog!  I'm so sorry!  You wouldn't believe how busy I have been - actually, you would, given how sporadic my posting has been so far this year.  I'm hoping I'll have finally turned a corner now, but who knows?  I have been posting mildly more often direct on my facebook page, so if you don't follow it, you should do so now: https://www.facebook.com/MusingsMiddleagedMum .


The Education Select Committee's Inquiry into Home Education is still ongoing.  I have given further submissions, but that hasn't been published yet, nor my personal one.  I'm still involved in helping home educators locally and nationally know their rights, answer their questions, deal with their Local Authorities, etc.  I'm also talking at an upcoming HE conference, so I hope people will have plenty of questions as I'm not good at talking about nothing, lol.  I suppose I should find some FAQs and have them on standby so I can ask and answer my own questions if I need to.  Details of the conference: https://www.learnfree.org.uk/ 

Have I mentioned that DD2 got into the same school as DD1?  So from September, I'll no longer be a home educator! <sob>  I'll still be involved in the community and the politics, but will be stepping down from some of my adminning duties on FB as I don't think it's right that a non-home educator admins local groups.

Weightloss has been a bit up and down.  More up than down, but hopefully that has turned a corner now.  I've got a(nother) new exercise routine that I've paid for so will be sticking with for a while.  Had my first session on Monday, and boy, did I ache afterwards!!!  I hope to be doing this every Monday and Friday for the foreseeable, so hopefully that will have an impact on my weight.  I've also decided to try some monetary incentive.  From a starting weight of 94kilos, for every 1kg I can keep off for a solid 3 weeks, I will put a tenner to one side.  The Pros: If I get down to my dream weight, I'll have £300 to spend on new clothes. The Cons: My weight is up and down like a yoyo, so I could be averaging , for example, 75kilos, and then randomly have 1 day of 82kilos.  But, it's added incentive, so lets see if it works.

I haven't listened to my hypnotherapy CDs for a while either - I've not even had time to take 30min for myself at home.  But, now that the girls' dance classes are back in the studios, I've magically got more time for reading (because I am sat in my car waiting!) so hope to start writing reviews again.

So sorry, again, for the silent treatment.  I hope to be posting more regularly again soon xx

Thursday 31 December 2020

My Books of 2020

I had set myself the challenge on Goodreads to read 70 books this year, and I smashed that by reading over 80! 

Next year, however, I'm going to be setting myself the more modest target of 50 books.  The reason for that is because I'm actually reading less when we're in lockdown!  At the start of Lockdown 1, I was reading a lot - everything had stopped, I was advised to self isolate, and it was sunny, so I was sat in the garden reading lots.  Bliss!  However, I was then told that I shouldn't have been told to self isolate, worked started up again (albeit virtually) and when the girls' dance classes started up, the parents couldn't wait inside, so I was driving more frequently back and forth, rather than waiting in the carpark in the cold, and when we brought our puppy home, I was then using that time to take her for walks - so even less reading.

So, here is my completed list of all the books that I have read this year, with links to my reviews - I have tried to review the books without giving away any spoilers.

Keen-eyed people may note that the last few don't have working links as yet, and that's because I haven't published the reviews yet, but when I do, I'll update this page.

Fiction


Non-Fiction


Christian Inspirational


So that's my list!  The formatting is a bit funny, but I thought 'sod that'.  The point of this post is to highlight the books, so I've left them large.  And yes, there are some books that fit into multiple categories, so I tried to put them in the most relevant one.

I don't have a favourite book of the year, but going through them all again now has reminded me of some pleasant memories.  I hope some of these titles call out to you, and you enjoy reading them as much as I have.


Tuesday 29 December 2020

Weekly Update - End of Year

I hope you have all had a good Christmas, despite the difficulties of not seeing friends and family because of Covid.


I had a nice relaxing time with my family and new pup.  We opened presents, ate a late lunch, and relaxed altogether.

Since then, I've started decorating my new room.  As we finished DD1's room, she has now moved up into the attic, and my room has been emptied.  So, I've painted one wall today, and I hope to paint the other three walls tomorrow.  I can then start buying furniture for it.  The biggest thing to go in there is a sofa bed, which we already have, but it'll be moved upstairs and I've got a new cover to go on it, so it will match the rest of the room.

I do need to do my Self-Assessment for my tutoring work.  I've never left it this late before.  I said the same last year, when I finally did it in October.  I just hope that next year, I don't leave it another 3+ months after the date I complete it this year (since the deadline is 31st January!).

After the New Year, I'll start reading up on the Home Ed stuff again, and fighting both locally and nationally.  Having my own work room will help me stay organised.

I still have one book review to write up, and ideally, I'd like to finish 3 of the books that I am currently reading, and write up reviews of those.  I'll then go through the whole year to give a complete list of the 70+books I have read this year.  Next year, I think I will lower the number of books I plan to read to about 50.  Not to say that I don't think I could read that many again, but if I am getting involved in other things, perhaps studying more too, I simply won't have time to read as much as I have done recently.  I am not sitting in the dance studios any more (due to covid) and haven't even finished the MosaiCraft portrait I bought for myself to do over Lockdown1.  Again, this is because I'm not sat waiting much anymore.  On a Tuesday, when I am waiting for an hour and a half, it is dark at the moment, and I have the pup with me, so it wouldn't be wise to do anything as fiddly as MosaiCraft.

I would like to start focussing on getting healthy again in the new year.  I am very aware that I need to get on the waiting list to have my mastectomy before I'm 40 (so I have 18months), and to have the reconstruction I really do want, I need to lose weight.  I have discovered that surgeons differ by how much weight I'd have to lose, so to know for sure, I will need to actually meet with one.  My mental state has enjoyed not weighing myself every day recently, but my clothes are aware that my weight is creeping up, as I expected it would (not least because it always does when I'm not weighing myself).  I find myself wondering if I can incidentally lose weight by focussing on a different area of my health?  What if I simply record what I am eating and how much exercise I am doing?  If I can get past the shame of recording every bite, will just knowing that I will be writing it later, help me focus my thoughts on healthy foods and the impacts that it will have on my health?  Maybe, just maybe.  And when it gets warmer, I do want to take my pup jogging (she likes it when I run with her now, but it isn't as fun for me when I'm wrapped in a big coat, scarf and boots, lol).

So, that's my quick update and vague plans for next year.

I pray that you can enjoy this festive period, and that your 2021 is better than this year has been xxx

Monday 2 November 2020

Weekly Update Y2w44

Not a pretty graph this week.  I don't have any excuse.  I've been lazy and not cooked much in the eveningd.  It's been Halloween and I made Witches Slime and Pumpkin Pie. And I've shared a couple of bottles of red with my other half.

Witches Slime
aka Green Custard
with sweets and fruit

The fortnightly average does look better than the 5-day average, but that's only because it's fairly constant recently - ie I'm not losing weight.



A second lockdown kicks off again this Thursday, and though schools are staying open, dance studios are not, so we're back to dance lessons via zoom.  Looking at the positive, I'll be kicked out of the living room again in the evenings, so I might as well cook delicious and healthy dinners.  
That's the plan anyway.

And I have started taking our puppy out for walks.  She is still terrified of the car, which in turn means she dislikes her harness and collar, however, once she is on the walk she seems to love it, so hopefully I'll be able to get plenty of walks and exercise with her.




Sunday 13 September 2020

Cuties - Film Review

There has been a lot of furore about the film Cuties being released on Netflix, not lease because of the artwork.



Netflix did issue an apology, however, by then the damage had been done.



Most of the fuss about this seems to have been in the US, so it had bypassed me.  It was only on a couple of FB groups I'm in that this has been discussed, with articles and tweets showing both sides of the 'debate'.

Recently, however, I have been seeing more friends in the UK sharing how this film promotes paedophilia and sexualises preteens, it is encouraging children to sexualise themselves etc and even one video where the person is calling for the actors' parents to be prosecuted and have their children removed for allowing them to be in this film(!), yet the articles I've seen suggest that this isn't the case at all.  I have asked people who are sharing this material whether they have seen it, and they admit that they haven't, but are warning other parents about it... So, this morning I watched it for myself.

First of all, this is a French (I think) film that has been dubbed into English. The dubbing isn’t to bad, though it is obvious in some places and there are parts (I don’t know if these are an African language, or Arabic) that haven’t been dubbed at all. Secondly, it is not a ‘feel good’ film. There is no happy ending, and is the type of film where I get to the end and think ‘so what?’. Also, it is a 15. Now I know that a 15 is only a rating, and it doesn’t stop kids watching a film (and may even make it more desirable), but for children, this is a boring film. Even for me, it was quite boring, and I only watched it to find out what all the fuss was about. (Yes, yes, clearly their advertising strategy worked…)

So, what happens in the film?

A girl, Amy, moves to a French city and doesn’t know anybody. Coming from an Islamic background, there is a bit of a culture shock as she notices other children her age dancing and dressing differently to herself. She spies on them and decides that she wants to be more like them, so unbeknownst to her mum, she gets a cropped top and tries to change her image.

As Amy lives in the same block of flats at the girls, she gets into her good books and they allow Amy to be friends with them. The girls clearly have no real understanding of boys/men, and are discussing how long a boy’s penis is and they persuade Amy, with her newly stolen phone, to film a boy using a urinal. The boy shouts at Amy, and the girls are disappointed that they can’t see anything.

Amy does film the girls’ dance troupe, Cuties, and then spends hours alone in her bathroom at home learning the dance moves. After a fight between two of the members of Cuties, Amy is able to take her place as she has already learned the routine. Amy tries to add to the girls routine, by searching the internet for other dance moves, and falls upon lots of twerking and, for want of a better phrase, women dry-humping the floor.

Meanwhile, Amy’s dad is getting remarried, Amy starts her period and “becomes a woman”, and she is now getting lots of attention from boys due to the way she dresses and how she acts. With her friends, she sneaks into Lazer Quest, gets caught, pleads innocence and then dances provocatively to prevent the cops/their parents being called.

The person from whom Amy stole the mobile phone (he is either family or a family friend), discovers Amy has it, and when he tries to get it back, she locks herself in the bathroom and takes the equivalent of a dick pic. She then gets bullied for that, other people ask the rest of the Cuties for similar photos and they throw her out of the group, and the previous girl gets called back in.

At the end of the film is the big dance competition. Amy decides she wants to be in the competition, gets her costume on and walks along the river seeing the girl who has taken her place. Amy pushes her in the river, and after checking she has found a buoy to hold on to, Amy runs to the competition, ready to dance. In front of everybody, the girls dance their very sexual dance and it is not well received by the audience or the judges. Before the end of the dance, Amy stops and breaks down in tears and runs to her fathers wedding. She gets told off by her great aunty for dressing like a whore, but her mum sticks up for her, and the film ends with her dressed in jeans playing jump rope with other kids.



One of the things that has been said about this film, is that it encourages kids to spy and film in bathrooms. It really does not. As I’ve said, I can’t imagine any preteens actually wanting to watch this film, but the scene in question certainly wouldn’t encourage anyone else to act this way.

The dance moves are highly sexual, and that is what this film is trying to highlight – the hypersexualisation of our kids. Having watched it, I don’t believe this film is encouraging children to act that way. As a dance-mum (albeit classical dance), whose girls have been in dance competitions (so I know all about the skin-tight costumes, bright make-up and false eyelashes), I was interested to see what this film said about that. In short, it didn’t. The routine that the girls have learned is from MTV-style dance videos. As many children, do, the characters simply copy dance moves that they have seen adults perform. And yes, it looks ridiculous. Even ignoring the fact that twerking is of African origin, as is the character Amy, these are kids pulling silly poses. It does not look “sexy” in the slightest, just ridiculous, and I would throw the question back at anyone who can look at an 11yo as a sexual object.

Allegedly, when the girls are dancing, there are a lot of “crotch shots”. Again, this isn’t true (assuming crotch to mean from the front, not from the back). The camera does occasionally zoom in on the girls’ behinds, but this is because it is [meant to be] Amy with her mobile phone, and her fascination with bums and womanly figures, after being teased by the girls for having a flat bum herself.

One accusation thrown at the film is true, but again, there is context. At one point, the girls are learning how to twerk, so they are using their hands to move one another’s bodies. This is not done in a sexual way, but in trying to get the beat/rhythm of the moves so they are all in time.

The girls do dance to get out of trouble with the security guards at Lazer Quest, after already accusing one of them as a pervert. This is often how girls learn about their own sexuality, and boundaries, and “women’s wily ways” etc. It isn’t always appropriate, and I don’t think this film is suggesting that it is appropriate nor that any young girls watching should try and emulate the characters.

Amy does take a photo of her underwear/vulva (you can’t tell from the film), but nothing is seen. She gets bullied for it in the film, called a stripper and a whore, and is thrown out the dance troupe for it, so neither is suggesting this is appropriate nor acceptable behaviour.

The final dance scene – the competition – is shocking (as it is meant to be), cringe-worthy and horrible. And they all just look ridiculous. The girls are on the stage, gyrating, putting their fingers in their mouths, fluttering eye lashes and pouting; and then there is a repeat of the twerking and dry-humping the floor. I know I would be mortified if my girls tried to dance this way. To me, this highlights exactly what happens when children are left to learn from the internet without an adult guiding them. For example, my girls do Jazz and Modern dancing, and though there is no official law, their dance school will not teach them certain grades/exams until they reach a specific age due to some of the moves being risqué. 

Lots of kids are not taught about sex, relationships, personal health etc in an appropriate or timely way. As such, they turn to peers or the internet to guide them. It pains me to think that there are many young people who think body hair is nasty, disgusting or unhygienic. It pains me to think that there are many young people who think they have to act a certain way, dress a certain way, do specific sexual things, in order to be liked, wanted or desired. It pains me to think of all these children who grow up to become adults and think this is all normal behaviour.

So, about this film: Would I recommend it? 

Not particularly. Like I said at the start, it’s quite boring (though I appreciate that I may not be cultured enough to like this type of thing). If there was a happy ending, or if there was some tension that could be resolved, or some kind of progress in the film at all, but there really wasn’t. In short, a girl tries to fit in, goes waaay too far, and ends up maybe as a happy medium, but we don’t actually know. We don’t know if she has any friends left. We are just left hanging. It’s not the spawn of satan as some people think, and it certainly doesn’t promote paedophilia any more than taking your kids to the beach would, or simply a clothing catalogue. It does look at the emerging sexuality of young girls, but this film is from the young girls’ pov (ie wanting to become sexy and failing), rather than from an older man’s pov (ie looking on them lecherously). And it didn’t give me the icky feeling that I have felt when watching films whose material is much less taboo (I’m looking at you: Indecent Proposal. Yuck!).


Wednesday 27 May 2020

Learn Free Home Education Conference 2020

Over the weekend of the 15th May, the Learn Free Annual Home Education Conference went virtual due to the Coronavirus.  Normally held in Coventry, this was the first year that I was able to attend.  The ticket was only £12 and for that you get access to all the talks and discussion. And, as this year was virtual, all the content is still available for the next 6 months, so if it sounds interesting, you can still buy access!

Using the Whova app (that I hadn't even heard of before, let alone use) it is really easy to navigate the conference and see and speak to everyone you wanted to.  The program was full with many speakers, including Dr Peter Grey the writer of Free to Learn, covering topics such as General Interest, SEND, Legal/Political Factors, Charlotte Mason, Secondary Education, Christian Education, Unschooling, Early Years, Numeracy & Literacy, Classical Approach, as well as some Just For Fun.

For the price, I thought the conference was amazing.  I had thought about going in previous years, but with the girls dancing (there is usually a dance festival May half term, so can't miss dance lessons on the weekends leading up to it) there has not been the opportunity, so being virtual has been good for me.  It also gave me a chance to catch up with old friends, some of whom I hadn't spoken to for years.  If there is an online version next year, I will definitely go again.

Friday 20 March 2020

Feeling sad tonight

Seeing all the posts on Facebook about friends' children who cannot sit exams this year.

DD1 coming home from school today, really emotional.  She's only been in school for two terms, and is sad to be leaving her friends for the next 3 months or so.

Dancing has ended tonight, and though they will be offering online lessons it won't be the same.  The girls will miss their friends, and DD2 has already asked if she can skype some of her dance friends.  DD1 has asked if she can get WhatsApp on her phone, even though she's not 16 yet.  I'm also going to miss the other dance mums. 

Similarly, we've received an email to say gymnastics is stopped for the foreseeable.

All home ed clubs and meets have stopped.  I'm good friends with the home ed mums too, so will miss them lots.

My singing class has stopped. 

Everything has stopped.

Hopefully it's just tonight, and tomorrow I'll be back to thinking it's a big adventure.

I am looking forward to spending time with my family.
And social media can help keep in contact with friends and family who live further afield.
We're blessed to live in a time when we have such technology and information available to us.

Wednesday 18 March 2020

Having an Adventure

That's how I feel at the moment.  Like a kind of excitement that I don't know what's going to happen, but everyone is in it together.

I see many people anxious about the coronavirus: randoms, friends and my own family.  Whereas, I'm not worried.  Genuinely.  I'm not saying there's nothing to worry about or that it's not that bad, I'm just saying I'm not worried.

I think this is how my mind works - when I'm not in control of something, my mind kinda goes "oh well, no point worrying then".  (If it's something I could or should have control over, and I don't, that's when my mind goes into panic mode.)

I have not liked this limbo that we have been living in recently.  I would have preferred it if things had gone into lock-down sooner, so at least everyone knows where they stand.  Supermarkets should have put rationing in place earlier, schools should have closed, and everything should have come down from the government so people can claim on their insurance etc.

But I have been looking forward to a slower pace of life.  Having DD1 home from school and DH home from work.  Not going out.  Having time at home to cook proper food.  Maybe get on with the jobs around the house that we're always too busy to do.

Now schools have finally announced they'll be closing on Friday, I do feel like I can start to get organised.  I'm not tutoring out of the house any more, offering online tuition instead.  The singing school and dance schools we go to will be offering online videos for classes.  DD1's school have already given a list of websites and other resources to use. What will be strange for us, is that the school have recommended she keep to her usual timetable - we don't do timetables in this house! lol

But, overall, it will be an adventure, for everyone.

I pray that the panic buying finally stops, so those who need supplies can get them.  The elderly, disabled, the vulnerable, single parents, people with illnesses etc.  Not everyone can buy in bulk.  Not everyone can order online.
I also pray for everyone suffering with anxiety.  There is so much sensationalism in the media. There are too many conspiracy theories going around.  There's too much false information about.

We can get through this.  We just need to be kind and considerate and look after those around us.

Friday 13 March 2020

Coronavirus

Everyone seems to be having their say, so now it's my turn.


Firstly, please stop panic buying.  Really.  You don't need that much loo roll, and you're being a selfish twat* because other people can't afford (whether time, money or physical energy) to bulk buy so are being left with nowt.

Same goes for paracetamol.  There are people who have various conditions that are manageable with pain relief, yet they are reduced to being in agony, not being able to maintain their living standards because shelves are stripped bare of basic paracetamol; not to mention the fact that there may be other circumstances why these people cannot 'simply' take other pain relief (pregnancy, asthma or other conditions).  Fever is a natural response to infection, so unless it is a very high temperature or accompanied by aches and pains, it is often best to allow the fever to run its course.

And the same goes for sanitizer and hand soap.  Everyone should wash their hands anyway, after going to the loo, before cooking and eating, after playing with pets or in the garden.  Yes, it is recommended that people wash their hands even more often, so the sales of hand-wash might be in slightly higher demand that usual, but currently it is ridiculous.

And the same goes (unsurprisingly) for dried and tinned foods.  Yes, some people are having to self isolate, but as it currently stands, the government has not required this on a large scale (see my thoughts on that below). As such there is currently no need to start stocking up, because all you are doing is impacting other people.  As I said before, there are people who cannot bulk buy.  Whether they go shopping once a week, or only buy a basket-full more often, if there is nothing on the shelves, these people are not going to eat.  And by 'these people' I am thinking primarily of the elderly or people on benefits who may have no alternative but to shop in this manner.  For most of us, and I assume everyone reading this blog, we do have alternative options.  We can buy online and get food delivered to our door.  Other people may not be comfortable with this technology, may not afford to have internet in their home or on their phone, or may not even have a card to enable them do online transactions.

A knock-on effect of this, is that food banks are running out of food and various supplies.  They are not on the shelves of the shops, so when these items are available, people are keeping them all for themselves, or not buying surplus (in the hope of reducing the affect of the panic buying and leaving enough for the next person).  I know I'm guilty of not donating to food banks recently, and I suspect I'm not the only one.

*Apologies to female genitalia - genitalia = good, selfish idiots = bad.

Secondly, it's not just the flu.
It is true that for most people, it will be an annoying infection from which you'll recover and life will go on.  However, for many people with underlying conditions it can be a lot worse.  I'm not going to expand and make you think I'm a medical expect - it's just common sense that people who have lowered immune systems or already have respiratory conditions will be affected by such a virus more.

For anyone interested in learning more about Covid19, FutureLearn are offering this free online course: Click Here

Then there's the impact it will have on all hospitals and other medical environments.  Not only is there the obvious effects (the more people who get the coronavirus, the small percentage of people who need to be hospitalised will increase, so can overwhelm ICUs), but there will be other people, who don't have the virus, who will need to be admitted to ICU, so there won't be enough beds.

There are people with various conditions who need to use hospitals, even if they don't need to be admitted, so lots of 'routine' appointments, testing, monitoring, and surgeries will need to be cancelled. I, for one, have not been called for my annual mammogram and MRI scan that I have to check for breast cancer at this time each year. Then there's the staff themselves, who not only put themselves at risk by being in an environment where there may be multiple people with symptoms, but if they too are self isolating, there will be less staff in our hospitals, so is a vicious cycle.

Once hospitals are overwhelmed, who will be considered eligible for treatment?  What if you're over a certain age? What if you are disabled or have other conditions? What if you don't have children? What if you're an alcoholic or drug addict? What if you smoke? What if you're overweight? What if you can't afford to pay privately?  Who gets to make these decisions?

So should we all be panicking?

No, but it is likely to have a big impact an some people, and because we should be caring for other people in our society, we should be thinking about the impact our actions will have on others.

The government recently updated their guidance here. I've heard a mixed response to this; some people suggesting it doesn't go far enough, whilst others thinking it's totally fine.  (I haven't heard anyone suggesting that it goes too far.)  My gut-feel is that it probably doesn't go far enough.

I know some people will be put out if things were shut down, not least self-employed people like myself who won't qualify for any benefits or SSP, but we need to learn from other countries.  It's very easy to think "oh, it's the other side of the world" "it's a different culture" etc, then it came to Italy, but "they didn't know what they were doing" and "we're learning from their mistakes".  The main thing that has come from the government, to me, is a sense that they don't want to do anything out of fear for their reputation, rather than erring on the side of caution/protecting people's lives, even if it proves to be too cautious.

This article has a sensationalist title, but does seem to be well researched and makes sense to my "Joe Public" understanding of events.

I know in my town in the UK, that we have currently 2 confirmed cases.  Allegedly, there are actually around 50 cases currently in our hospital, but that the hospital has been told from above that they are not allowed to test anyone unless they have travelled to certain locations.  Now the government have said that if you think you have symptoms you should self isolate and only call NHS111 if you are particularly worried or your symptoms are severe; as such the real number of people who have the virus will be much larger than current numbers (and therefore predictions based on these numbers) will suggest.

Another concern I have (because like must the population, I'm more selfishly concerned about how my future plans will be impacted because of shut-downs etc, rather than concern about contracting the virus itself) is surrounding insurance.  I don't fully understand it (partly because I haven't actually looked into it) but I've heard on the grape-vine, that if people choose to not attend events, then they cannot be reimbursed (which I do understand), if the events/venues get cancelled then people will be reimbursed (fair enough), but if the government implements a national shut-down, and events get cancelled because of that, then insurance is no longer valid so people will not be reimbursed.  As I said, I may have got that wrong, or not understood it, but that position seems inherently unfair.

And what about all bills that need to be paid during the shut-down period?  Generally I'm someone who if something happens that I have no control over, I will take it as it comes and treat the situation as an adventure, so the idea of being shut at home, doesn't actually bother me that much, assuming I can still get food delivered to me (because I am privileged in that way).  If we had to live on SSP for the duration of the shut down, if other bills were put on hold (and preferably without interest accumulating), we'd be ok.  If bills were not put on hold, things would be very tight for us.  We're lucky, we have a good credit rating and could potentially organise a mortgage-holiday.  Other people, however, may be renting, so do not have that option.  Or if it's a private landlord, they may be relying on that income in order to pay their own bills.  Unfortunately, I do not have confidence in our government (well, the prime minister at least) to have though of all these nuances, implications, and more that hasn't brushed past my mind.

Personally, my girls have dance exams in the next couple of weeks, and I wouldn't want them postponed, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.  I do feel for students who are doing GCSEs, A-Levels, and University Finals this summer.  It's a stressful enough time anyway, without worrying about what-ifs and maybes. We haven't booked a holiday this year yet, so have no concerns about that being cancelled, but we have booked various day trips and overnight stays for various reasons that can all be impacted.

I've run out of steam for this topic right now, and I haven't even had a rant about overt and more subtle racism due to the virus.  Last night a friend and I had a delicious meal at a Thai restaurant, and we were the only 2 people there. All night.  I asked the lady working there if it was always this quiet on a Thursday evening, wondering if it was just because it's a weekday, but no.  They are quieter on a weeknight, but they have been near-dead all week.  It's crazy. Anyway, I will stop now (and probably remember the rest of what I wanted to write later when I'm away from my laptop).

Just remember to not panic, be hygienic, and think of others.

From BBC Health





Monday 24 February 2020

Weekly Update Y2w8

We were away last week at a dance festival so stayed in a caravan (yes, during Storm Dennis!) rather than travelling to and fro every day.  We ate out on site and in a couple of pubs, and ate easy-to-cook food in the caravan.  My goodness, I miss vegetables.  Not only has my weight skyrocketed, I've felt bloated all week (still do, truth be told, though am feeling a bit better), and one night my stomach pain returned, so I got to sleep around 5am, before having to wake again at 7am to get the girls to their competition.

The graph isn't pretty,  but it is what it is.  I'm not going to sugar coat anything, even on the days where I tried to find food with vegetables (eg one day I had veg soup starter as a main) I still ate the accompanying bread and butter.
Looking at the positive, because I have come away feeling bloated, having had pain, and missing vegetables, I am much more motivated to eat properly now I'm back home, and able to use my fancy new kitchen.

Friday 14 February 2020

Weekly Update Y2w6.5

An early weekly update today, as I'm away at a dance festival next week and won't have my laptop with me.  I will be taking my scales, so I can keep monitoring things, but won't be posting anything online.

Despite still not having a kitchen - they're due to finish today, wahoo!!! - and in spite of eating too many McDonald's' this week, I am losing weight again!  I have discovered that my stomach is satisfied eating a McChicken Sandwich and a regular Cappucino (not full - I could eat a helluva lot more if I wanted to - but this would see me through to dinner) and it only comes in at 448kCals, so is a reasonable lunch.  Nutrition-wise it's not the best admittedly, but in the short-term, it is helping me keep on top of my weightloss goals, and my graph looks pretty (ie sloping downwards) again!

Next week, we're in a caravan, so will be able to cook our own foods, and eating out a few times (whether that be picking up a sandwich or eating in a pub/restaurant), so I still need to be mindful about what I'm eating, and make sensible choices.  Hopefully with a bit more nutrition than what I've been eating this week.

Monday 10 February 2020

Weekly Update Y2w6

So, I haven't lost weight since I've been home.  Actually, that's a slight lie, as I did initially lose weight, and then have piled it back on again.  I'm no longer below 94kilos.

My excuse defence is that we're getting our kitchen done at the moment, so have been without a hob for a few days, and are still without an oven, so we've had to eat a lot of pre-made meals and takeaways.  Added to that, it probably didn't help that I ate a whole packet of biscuits by myself on Friday morning, before going out with a meal with my husband that night (the rare Friday nights we have free are date night, as both girls are dancing until 9pm!), meeting up with friends from uni for a meal on the Saturday, and we had a family day on Sunday which involved a meal out, after which I went to Afternoon Tea with ladies from church, and had more than one slice of cake...  But it's probably the fault of not having a fully working kitchen, lol.

On the positive side, and yes I can still see a positive side, my kitchen is looking good so far, and I'm looking forward to cooking in there again.  And my weight does bump up and down fairly frequently, so I'm not giving up, but taking it on the chin and I know my weight will come down again soon.

Monday 20 January 2020

Weekly Update Y2w3

My general curve is still going down *and* I hit a low for the year!

I have eaten out twice this weekend, and stopped tracking (naughty me), so that explains the increase the past couple of days.  Overall I am pleased with my progress so far, and hope to build on it this week!

The first meal out was for a steak dinner with my husband whilst our girls dance on a Friday night.  We ate a steak each, but shared the sides and didn't have chips.  It was lovely, and I didn't miss the carbs.  We did share a dessert too, but eating out should be enjoyed.  Despite all this, I didn't go over my calories for the day, so I was doubly pleased.  I shared that on one of my support groups, and was promptly told off for trying to stick to 1200 kcals limit, which isn't enough for anybody.  Whereas I was posting more to say that it was possible, and I didn't feel like I had denied myself anything that day, as opposed to aspiring to stay under that amount.  I know there are many people who think My Fitness Pal's suggested calories are not conducive to healthy weightloss.  I, however, find them to be accurate for my activity level (ie lazy bum) as if I eat much more, I do tend to gain weight.  That, of course, doesn't stop me from eating more, as I'm only using it to track, rather than to be a hard limit for the calories I eat each day.  I also think it's more important to be aware of nutrition and to eat mostly nutrition-dense foods, rather than calorie-dense.

The second meal out was a Murder Mystery evening in Abingdon, thanks to Dine Naked Oxford and British Naturism, with characters played by the Oxford Imps.  The food was Moroccan, so a mixed starter that was placed in the middle of the table.  I allowed myself one half of pitta, hummus, and probably too many almonds.  The main was chicken tagine with cous cous, and the dessert was Moroccan style rice pudding.  The Murder Mystery itself was quite good fun, as it was improvised and there were plenty of jokes.  Our table did guess the correct murderer, albeit for the wrong reason, so we didn't 'win', but enjoyed ourselves nonetheless.

This week, we have lots of food in our Freezer that we are going to try and eat up; most of it portioned out already.  Unfortunately, the writing has come off all the boxes, so we don't know what we're eating until it's defrosted, lol.

Tuesday 14 January 2020

Depression doesn't just go away

I've written about my depression a few times, and mention it more often.
Depression and Me
Feeling Like Shit
Why don't I like myself?

So, this is going to be another honest/frank/tell-it-as-it-is post.  I do need to add at this point a

**TRIGGER WARNING: discussion about suicide**

and also a note for friends in real life that I'm ok; I'm not feeling these things any more; and I did have friends to help me through, and will be talking about it again on Wednesday with my therapist.


So, I had a bit of shit time at the end of last week.

On Thursday in my local paper, there was a horrific story about animal abuse - a man is going through the courts because he has neglected a load of dogs.  These dogs live in his mum's home as she used to run a kennels and these dogs were her pride and joy.  However, the paper went on to say that the woman now has dementia, and was left in her house with no food for her nor her dogs.  The dogs were starving to death, many had illnesses and sores, and some were left dead on the floor of her home.  There was even a dead dog in the freezer (which I found weird that that was the thing that tipped many of the FB commenters over the edge, whereas that was the least of my concerns).

Anyway, it turns out that I know this woman.  I used to live 3 doors down from her, before I moved 4 and a half years ago.  I said I'd keep in touch, and though I tried phoning a few times initially, I lost her number.  I do send her a Christmas card each year with an update of my girls (she's one of only 4 Christmas cards that I actually send regularly), I cannot say that I have kept my promise to keep in touch.

So on Thursday I was wracked with guilt.  My logical brain knows it's unlikely that I could have done anything, as it turns out the people who live next door didn't know what was going on, but I still think that I could have been a better friend.  If I had kept in touch, I may have noticed something sooner.  Having relatives with dementia, and seeing the state their lives get in (without outside help), it is horrendous to think that she was living amongst dead and decaying dogs, with no food, and presumably didn't have the capacity to either know anything was wrong, or worse, did know something was wrong, but couldn't do anything about it.

Either I coincidentally got a cold on Thursday night, or the stress lowered my immune system.  I couldn't sleep and had throbbing headaches (not quite a migraine, but really painful).  Thursday night, this lady's other son got in contact with me, so now I do have her phone number again, as did one of the people who live next door to her - which I thought was really considerate of both of them.  I did say to the son that I would phone his mum on Friday afternoon - well we're now Monday (at time of typing) and I still haven't phoned, but hopefully I'll have the courage to today.  Being someone who doesn't like phones at the best of times, doesn't like small talk, and feel tremendous guilt for not staying in touch more, I do have to build up the strength and courage to phone, however cowardice that may seem.

Thursday I was feeling bad all day, both ill and guilty.  I was very very tired and my head was pounding.  Not that that can excuse what is coming next, but hopefully puts it in a bit of context.

DD1 comes home from school and starts going on and on.  We need to leave almost immediately to go to dancing (as we do every Friday) and DD2 and I had tried to get DD1's dance stuff ready, but clearly we hadn't done a good enough job.  Even when I was in the toilet, I had the girls shouting to me through through the door, and I did snap back - they're not toddlers anymore, they should be able to wait 2 minutes!

In the car on the way to dance, I can't even remember what started it, but DD1 and I were arguing.  I kept saying that I needed quiet.  I was trying to focus on driving, which was hard enough with a cold and a pounding headache, yet DD1 just couldn't be quiet (we think this is a symptom of her autism, and is something we need to work through).  As I am starting to feel when my temper is rising, I know that I need to walk away and have some quiet, then I can calm down before going back to the matter at hand (and it's probably my own autism that has meant it's taking me 30+ years before I figured this out).  However, when stuck in the car in a line of traffic on a dual carriageway, there is nowhere for me to go.  I shout at DD1, she shouts back.  I just need her to be quiet, and she keeps answering back and answering back and answering back, and then it happened.  I slapped her leg.  I'm not proud of it.  It is not something I would do in my right mind.  It is not something I condone, and I wish it had never happened, but it did and is pertinent to this story.  Did it have the desired effect? Nope.  DD1 shouts at me again, so I hit her again.  In the same place on her leg.  Now her leg is bright red.  She does, now, shut up for a bit - until we arrive at dancing.  Then she is hysterical.  She won't now go into dancing and wants to be taken home.  I'm furious with her and furious with myself.  I finally persuade DD2 to go into dancing, and I have to go into the building myself in order to pay for the week's extra lessons.  Meanwhile DD1 is on the phone to my husband saying that I'm abusing her.  She refuses to go into the building, so now I have to go back in, find her teachers and apologise for the fact she is refusing to go in.  I end up bringing her home again, and I go straight to bed.  By now I'm ashamed of my outburst and my actions. I know I need space, I know I need sleep, and I cannot face anyone.

In case anyone is at all concerned, I do not condone physical violence against children - especially when it is committed by me.  It is not something I do often, nor is it something I want to do.  I was hit as a child and hated it, and never want to hit my own children.  It is not done as a way to make myself feel more powerful, to make my children fear me or as a tool for bullying, but it is done from a sense of powerless.  I lose control.  I'm the adult, and I shouldn't.  If it were an adult next to me, I imagine they would have stopped when they could see that I'm losing control.  This isn't something my daughter has learned yet.  If the adult didn't notice and continued, I probably would have slapped their leg too, I don't discriminate.  At that point in time, I couldn't think of a better way of getting the quiet needed in order to concentrate on the road.  I need to do better in future.

In recent weeks, I had been thinking my depression was lifting.  Even when bad things were happening, I was able to get through it, and yes my mood would dip, but then it would come back up again.  I had thoughts about lowering my medication, and about stopping seeing my therapist - in fact, for the past couple of months, I thought my session this coming Wednesday would be my last with her.  I thought if the therapy stopped, and I was still feeling good, then perhaps in the summer I could reduce my dose of antidepressants.

On Friday night I was feeling bad.  Guilt and shame wracked me. I wanted to die.  I'm not a good mother.  I'm not a good parent.  There was no point to me, other than causing my children hurt and pain.  At one point I was afraid to get out of bed because I knew that our medicines live in the drawer under my bed, and I couldn't get any food from the kitchen because I knew the knives lived there.  I haven't felt like that in a long long time.  I was shocked at how suddenly and how deeply I felt these things, and it served to remind me that depression doesn't just go away.  It bubbles under the surface. I prayed desperately to go to sleep so I could switch off these feelings, and I did manage to sleep on and off on Friday night.  I also did something I've not done before - talk to friends about those feelings.  They helped me through the worst of it, and encouraged me to talk to my husband.  When feeling like that, you feel like a burden, and knowing my husband has stresses at work and with his family, I didn't want to add to it.  Though on Saturday I did stay in bed most of the day (I really was very tired!), I did talk to him.  I can't talk about feeling like that when I'm in it - even with my friends I had to wait until it had passed - but that was the quickest I had managed: a few hours later, rather than weeks or years as previously.

Now, I'm back to normal - whatever normal is. 😀
I think it must have been an extreme reaction to an unfortunately accumulation of events.  I'm certainly not suicidal now, and am very glad that God and some part of my brain took control and forced me to stay in bed until the feeling passed.  I'm sharing this, not for sympathy, but hopefully to encourage others why may have similar thoughts or feelings to speak out, whether to friends, family or doctors.
It's time to end the stigma surrounding mental health.




Here are some useful websites and phone numbers (if you're UK based):
Samaritans: 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Mind: 0300 123 3393 or text 86463 or email info@mind.org.uk 
Time to Changehere is a longer list of support they recommend

Tuesday 5 November 2019

Weekly Update No44

I'm still not weighing myself. I feel like I'm slowly losing all the 2B Mindset principles, which is a shame as in theory, it should work.  Whether it's will-power or I simply don't care enough, I don't know, but it should work.

Anyway, whatever the reasons, I've stopped weighing myself.  It does mean (obviously) I have no idea how much I weigh, whether I'm losing weight or gaining it.  I have also stopped writing 3 things I'm grateful for each day, but that's a bad thing, so I'm consciously going to start doing that again (as soon as I've finished this post!). Part of the problem has been that I usually write it before bed, but I've been so busy recently and so tired that as soon as I go upstairs I fall asleep.

This half term I have been driving up and back to Malvern almost every day for yet another dance festival.  My girls did well, though, and came back with 2 medals each: 1 gold, 1 bronze and 2 fourth place medals. 

So, now I'm back home, and DD1 is back in school, I'm trying to get back into the routine of things with DD2. I am currently waiting for a Tesco order to be delivered, so I can make some tasty soups and other meals.  We're watching David Attenborough's Life on Netflix over a late breakfast, and are planning to do some chemistry and algebra today.


Monday 28 October 2019

Weekly Update No43

I haven't been weighing myself this week. 

I would guess that I've put on weight.  I have not been eating great, not helped by travelling lots for a dance festival (3rd in Junior Modern Groups, and 4th in Junior Modern Trios) so having easy to eat foods (like sausage rolls, crisps, etc) next to me to eat whilst I'm driving.

I am, however, generally feeling better about myself.

I've also stopped writing 3 things I'm thankful for, and 1 thing I value about myself.  I should restart that, because I do find it helpful, and it definitely helps my mood and self-worth.  But I am feeling good about myself. 

What I need to start doing, is translating this increase in self-worth into self-care; specifically physically.  Writing gratitude is self-care emotionally, but I also want to get to a stage where I purposely eat the right things and move my body more, not as a chore, but because I deserve it.

I do live in the future (and almost always have done) and whilst I am slowly getting better at living in the moment, I still think "things will be better when...".  Right now, we're trying to get our kitchen done.  We've lived in this house 4.5 years, and though the kitchen isn't that bad, there's hardly any storage nor work-surface space.  So, the time was right to get our kitchen done up.  We've chosen a local family company, so are no waiting for them to book us in.    But, when the kitchen is done, then I'll be able to meal prep and have much better, healthier foods.  She says.  In theory.  We'll see.

Tuesday 15 October 2019

Weekly Update No41

I'm a day later than usual, this week.  I've had a really good weekend with friends which left me tired yesterday, and I didn't have it in me to come online before taking DD2 to her science club (we were then out all day, and I had my musical theatre class in the evening), then I took both girls to bed, fell asleep in DD2s room, and eventually went to bed.

On Friday, I went to a friend from church's house, with a group of other women, to watch War Room.  It's a film I hadn't heard of before, and was totally different to what I was expecting: there were no soldiers, no bombs and no Churchill.  It was really enjoyable, and though it is fiction, it's a good reminder of what God can do for us when we trust in Him, rather than ourselves.  I found that bit particularly challenging, as I try and support a friend, and made me realise that perhaps I should talk less and pray more.

On Saturday was a full day of dance and singing for both girls.  In the evening we were all invited to a dance friend's house for a humongous Chinese takeaway buffet and a few drinks.  It was delicious.  As my husband is watching his weight [go down, unlike me...], we haven't had a Chinese takeaway for a while, and I have to say that I made the most of it.  I actually ate more than I normally would had we gone out to a Chinese buffet restaurant!

And Sunday morning the girls had yet more dance (though thankfully only for an hour), before we had friends from uni come to visit us with their two girls.  I did try to make a healthy buffet, and looked up various recipes to have in addition to the standard crudites and hummus.  I made two flavours of wrap pinwheels: Mexican and Turkey&Mandarin; yoghurt-based dips with chopped fruit; fruit canapes on rice cakes; and chicken salad in little gem leaves.  And because my kids are fussy, there was also sausage rolls, nuggets and onion rings too. 

It is fair to say I have eaten a lot this weekend, so it is not unexpected that my weight increased.  Yesterday I ate well, and chose to have a salad at Subway, rather than the usual sub-sandwich.  Today, DD2 wants to make a lasagne for tea, which I plan to make a salad to accompany it.