Showing posts with label Hysterectomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hysterectomy. Show all posts

Monday 7 December 2020

Weighty Worries

I've been trying to write this post for the past fortnight, and I keep starting and deleting.  I'm going round in circles in my mind and I don't know what to do.

I am not losing weight.  It's easy enough to see why - I'm not limiting my eating enough and/or not exercising enough.  And I don't want to.  There, I said it.  I've known for a while my mind isn't in the right place to lose weight.

I'm ok with how I look.  Whilst ideally I would like to lose some weight, actually, I'm ok with how I am. I do have moments, especially when I'm on zoom calls, where I notice my double chin is looking more like a triple or quadruple chin, and I would like to be thinner so I have more choice of clothing, but I don't care enough to change for those reasons.

I'm trying to lose weight in order to have DIEP reconstruction when I have my double mastectomy.  I haven't spoken to a GP or surgeon yet, because I've heard that in order to have DIEP your BMI has to be below a certain level. My BMI is currently 34.5 and I've heard it should be a maximum of 27, if not 25 (ie top end of Healthy weight). So, I've started to think about having implants instead.  I've got no issue with implants, but it's not what I wanted, and that thought makes me sad. Yet, surely if I cared enough, I would make the effort to lose weight? Surely I wouldn't be stuffing mince pies in my gob at every opportunity?

When I had my hysterectomy, I planned on having mastectomy by the time I'm 40.  I'm 38 now, which means (assuming it takes a year for the process [ignoring coronavirus]), I need to see my GP and request it in less than 6 months time. I lack the self belief, let alone will-power, that I am going to be able to lose weight in that time.

I feel like stopping actively trying to lose weight is quitting.  And that isn't good for my depression.
I feel like continuing with the charade of weekly updates makes me a fraud.  And that isn't good for my depression.

If I could have surgery today and any reconstruction I want, I would choose DIEP, even with the added risks of being overweight and the longer recovery time.  Implants is an option, and I could potentially swap implants for DIEP later in the future.  But I don't want implants.  And I don't like to fail.

Who knows? This could be my depression talking, because it's dark and wintery, I've missed my antidepressants a bit too often recently, and I want an excuse to not have to watch what I'm eating with Christmas coming up.  Or it could be that I'm finally facing up to the truth that I don't have the willpower, energy, or strength of character to lose weight effective.  I'm just too lazy.

Saturday 8 August 2020

Enjoying Life

I've been missing in action for a few days.  10 days ago we decided last minute to drive all the way to Scotland to see my mum and husband in her new house.  She moved last year, and it's too far and too expensive to go normally.  However, with lockdown easing somewhat, but still being unable to go on holiday, my husband took some time off work and we went for a mini break.

It was really good to see her.  Her house is lovely; it's in the middle of nowhere with a large garden and views of the countryside all around.  They are undergoing building work atm so her mother-in-law can move in, but even with that, the house was plenty big enough for my tribe to be housed for  few days.

On the way back down, we spend the night with my dad.  Again, it was great to see him as I hadn't seen him and his wife since before Christmas!  Living far away from family (and not being a fan of phones, beyond texting) it is good to be able to have time to catch up with family properly.

This past Thursday was my 15th Wedding Anniversary.  The girls went to the effort of making us a card each, and they brought us coffee and breakfast in bed.  For lunch, I had pre-bought an Afternoon Tea from Jasmine & Honey Bakery.  It was delicious! And you know how fussy my girls are with eating, and they enjoyed the children's version too.  I bought a cake/afternoon tea stand so we could dish it all out properly, and we drank champagne with lunch.  

Photos from Jasmine&Honey Bakery


Unfortunately, Thursday was also the day that both my parents spoke to their consultants.  To cut a long story short, as my dad often says, they both have cancer.  My mum was expecting it, as her body was feeling like it does when the cancer returns, and it is now due.  She has ovarian cancer in the lymph nodes in her pelvis.  My dad, otoh, was shocked.  He was expecting to be told he had prostate cancer, as his dad had it for many years.  However, unlike my grandad, my dad's cancer has been termed "significant".  He has to undergo more investigations before determining how it will be treated. My dad's consultant also refused to test him for the BRCA2 gene mutation, which I can understand somewhat, however, if my dad does have it, and I have inherited it (in addition the the BRCA1 gene I know about), I should not be on oestrogen HRT, especially not before I have a mastectomy.  So that's a little bit of disappointment, on top of a lot of shit.

In better news, yesterday, I finally got my hair redyed.  I went to Sharon Rewston again and she didn't disappoint.  We went with the same colour scheme as last time, but used some of the teal that was in my hair from being lightened, and it's now ribbonned from dark blue into other colours (purple, pink and teal) as you come down the strands.

Now we're all back home, I need to get back in the habit of eating well (yes I put on weight this past week), moving more, blogging more, and working more.  I am enjoying life for what it is, as nobody knows what the future holds.

Tuesday 30 July 2019

Why don’t I like myself?


Recently a friend recently received some abuse because she posts a lot of selfies on her FB newsfeed. Now this friend does read this blog, so I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this. I luv ya lots xx
She was asked whether she posted because she ‘needed the likes’ and had apparently had ‘offended his beliefs’; and she came back with a brilliant explanation (not that she needed to) of why she does what she does, posts what she wants, because her body is a miracle that she is proud of. To quote her “So here it is, for likes and comments, my magical, amazing, miraculous, super strength body, on display, thin, chubby, pregnant, scandily[sic] clad, wrapped up and glitter dusted. I am not ashamed anymore and neither should you be of your magical skin sock.”
This friend has been through her fair share of shit in her time, and has come through stronger than ever. She is a fabulous woman, and I would love to learn to like myself like that.

I don’t like my body. It does what it needs to do (and my dislike isn’t enough to stop be going nude on a naturist beach – you don’t like it, don’t look!) but it’s not fit and it’s not healthy. Since going into surgical menopause, by waist has gotten wider and my stomach larger, yet I still have my huge hips and thunder thighs to match, so I’m big all over.  And I mention regularly that I need to lose weight and get my BMI below 30 (preferable below 25) before I can have the mastectomy I want.

I am very aware of the link between the state of my mental health and my ability to lose weight. I want to lose weight, but when my MH is low, I self-sabotage and I’m becoming aware that I self-harm too. Not in any overt way, but little things like not brushing my teeth, or washing clothes as often as I should. And the self-sabotage is usually along the lines of comfort eating or binging, then feeling guilty about it, and both of which then adds weight, rather than loses it. And then there’s the exercise thing, or lack of it, that I only have the impetus to do when I’m feeling good, yet my brain knows would be good for me to do especially when I don’t feel good. Yet another stick to beat myself with.

I also don’t like me as a person. I don’t think I’m horrible or anything, I just don’t think I’m particularly nice either. I do have friends, so there must be something about me that I’m not seeing, because I know for a fact they’re not friends with me for what I do for them, simply because I don’t do anything for them.
(And anybody reading this, I am not asking people to say they like me, just getting my thoughts out-there about how I feel about myself.)

And there may be some people reading this who question my right to call myself a Christian when I can articulate so clearly why I’m not worthy. I know God loves me. I know God died for me. I know God thinks I’m worth saving. Yet, I don’t know why God loves me? I can only assume it’s because of His infinite goodness, that He can like someone like me. I’m not a good person, and often am very self-absorbed. Whereas when I was younger I was only aware of “happy”, “sad” and “angry” (though happy was more neutral than elevated), now I am aware of many more negative emotions including boredom, jealousy, apathy, amongst others. I’m not a good Christian, and am fully reliant on God’s power to draw me to Him, as I don’t have the strength or willpower to do it myself.

Would I be friends with myself? Possibly, I don’t know. I think I would try to be friends with me, but I would doubt that the other-me wanted to be friends with me, itms. I don’t really know how to make friends, I just hang around and hope somebody will talk to me. At some point, they talk to me whenever they see me, and eventually we go out eating and drinking together and I think we’re friends. Similarly, however, I can lose friends unintentionally. I tend to continue thinking someone is my friend until they do something to make me think otherwise. For some friends, this is great, because it means that we can go weeks, months or years without seeing each other, and when we do, it’s like we’ve never left. Other friends, however, we slowly lose touch. Because I always assume that people don’t really like me (why would they – I don’t like me), I will try to keep in touch a couple of times, but if nothing comes of it then, I’ll think maybe I’m not getting the hint, so I’ll no longer contact them as I assume that’s what they want. Not least because the final time, I’ll specifically ask them to arrange whatever-it-is, so if they don’t, I know they don’t want to.
The other thing about making friends is that I don’t like small-talk and I don’t like saying things for the sake of it. Why can’t more people be comfortable with silence? Though I admit, I do find it funny when I can clearly see the other person is uncomfortable, and I’m not.

But back to liking myself, this is an area I do need to improve. A different friend recently gave me a notebook in which to write things I’m grateful for. I’m not going to share what I’m writing, but since receiving it, I have managed to find 3 things each day that I am grateful for. Sometimes something big and sometimes something small. I hope this will help my MH as it gives me something to look over when I’m feeling down.

And I have found a counsellor that I like. I did a trial session with her, and I have booked her from September, so hopefully that will be useful to. I don’t know if I could ever get to the point of loving myself, but liking myself would be good. I know I need to be kinder to myself, as I know I’m harder on myself than I am on other people, but that’s because, in my mind, I deserve it. Then maybe I can be more successful losing weight as I realise I deserve to treat myself right and feed myself the right foods, and move my body in ways that make me feel good.

Wednesday 3 July 2019

Corsets

From Amazon.co.uk

I read an article the other day about how corsets are coming back into fashion, and that’s a bad thing for women because their sole purpose is body modification in order to look more sexy and desirable to men.

I actually like a corset. I don’t own one that fits at the moment, but I do like the style as something glamorous to wear on a night out, or even dressed-down with a pair of jeans. I wouldn’t wear one to change my body shape, but that could be because before my hysterectomy I had a ‘full hour glass’ figure. I’ve always been fat, with a belly and thunder thighs, but I have always had a defined waist that was at least one size smaller than my hips, making clothes-buying difficult. Since I’ve been in surgical menopause, however, my waist is getting wider and wider. At one point it was good because my clothes actually fit, but now I’m more like an apple stuck on a pair of fat pillars


Rabbani and Solimene Photography
WireImage
On that article, I saw a photo of Kim Kardashian wearing a corsetted dress, and I was shocked. I’m not a follower of fashion or gossip or celebs, so though I have heard the name, and I know KK is famous for her big bum, I didn’t know what she actually looked like. It just looks really weird. Like REALLY weird. Women naturally have a sexy, curvy shape, but taken to this extreme it looks odd. I suppose, for me, it’s because it just doesn’t look natural. I feel the same about many of the filters you see on snapchat and the like, that is meant to make you look airbrushed, or with makeup on, no flaws and more attractive, but just ends up making you look not real. Do men really find that attractive? I suppose my issue with this type of look is now mainstream it is – not that women look that way, but that it’s accepted (and acceptable) the women and girls want to look that way; as if if you don’t want to look like that, you’re the odd one.

Then there’s the argument that I have in my head about such things. I genuinely believe people should be free to wear, or not wear, whatever they want. An extension to that, is I believe people should be free to modify their own body however they want. Whether it’s piercings or tattoo, whether an extreme* hairstyle or colour, etc people should be free to express themselves. So, if someone wants to modify their body by wearing waist trainers and corsets, who am I to judge? It comes down to who are they doing it for? And much like the people who say they can’t leave the house without a full face of make-up, but claim it’s not society putting pressure on them to look like it, but they genuinely want to go through the rigmarole of hair and make-up sessions every morning; are these women** modifying themselves because they genuinely want to, or because they want to feel more attractive to others, and think this is the only way to do so?

*Now DD1 is going to school in September, I’ve just spent a small fortune on her school uniform. As part of the school uniform policy, there includes a note on extreme hairstyles and mohicans are not even mentioned, whereas very short cuts or bright colours are.

**I am aware that some men wear corsets too. And also some men and women wear corsets not to primarily change their body shape, but as a way to feel pain/control, perhaps as part of BDSM. I feel more comfortable with this, than wearing corsets in order to be more attractive.

Wednesday 2 January 2019

Happy New Year!

The Christmas season has passed by very quickly! 

We had a quiet Christmas day at home with just the four of us.  It was really relaxed, good company and good food.  The week after Christmas we visited my family in one part of the country and my husband's family in another.  Then we spent New Year's evening at a friend's house playing games whilst our children played together elsewhere.  And now we're back to reality with a bump. (Not literal - I am certainly not pregnant, now missing several vital parts! lol)

I enjoy getting a calendar every year from the girls for Christmas, and like to spend my NY day copying across new information and schedules.  This seems to be the worst year yet, as after this week, EVERY week is packed.  And my husband has finally badgered me enough to use a shared calendar on our phones, so I've put everything there too - only for him to say there's too much going on and he doesn't know when he needs to be where.  Men!

After chatting with the girls about any resolutions they may have, we have all decided to work together and help each other to achieve them.  My daughters' resolutions are to do with self-care (eg actually brushing their hair daily) and keeping their rooms tidy.

We don't have any pets.  I am allergic to cats and dogs, and other animals, but have said I would consider getting a dog, if... Now, I'm not stupid enough to say "if you look after it" because I'm the adult and I know my children won't immediately be able to switch on that responsibility.  It would be unfair on the dog for it to arrive and for me to not pick up the slack.  So, I went with something else. ...you can prove you're responsible enough to have a pet by keeping your bedrooms tidy for 6 months in a row.  Not perfect.  Not "showhome".  But reasonably tidy and having a clear floor at the end of the day.  My children's bedrooms are not massive, especially given the number of toys they own, but they do have a playroom where all their junk toys can be thrown stored, and I haven't said that room has to be tidy.  Thankfully for me, it's at the top of the house, so I don't have to think about it!

As for me, my resolutions are to do with self-care too.  Namely, being positive in my mind, being positive about how I fuel my body, and being positive about moving my body more.  I am changing my mindset, so there is no such thing as "failure" or "bad days", but instead they are learning opportunities, from which I can grow, learn and do better next time.



2B Mindset has a sale going on some of its products.
And BodyGroove has a 30day challenge for you to join in and move your body!

Thursday 29 November 2018

Feeling a bit weird



I don’t know what’s wrong with me atm? I’m not sleeping well – mainly because DD2 seems to have regressed somewhat, and we’re having to stay with her until she falls asleep. Except last night, when it got to midnight and I gave up, and left her alone as I was knackered. I’ve always needed a lot of sleep, and by staying up late I’m oversleeping in the morning. And I don’t just mean, by an hour, no I mean I’m not waking up until nearly lunchtime. :(

Looking at the positive, I’m not that hungry when I wake up so I’m eating less and am losing weight (today I hit a New Low Weight!). However, my sleep is not restful. I’m having nightmares and night sweats (I don’t know if the latter is because of the menopause or the nightmares?), waking up still tired, finally waking up in the evening, and staying up late again.

In addition to the sleep, my digestion is going a bit funny atm. I have problems occasionally with my digestion where I get shooting pains in my stomach, bad cramps and pain that can easily last 24hours. For the past 5 years I’ve been keeping a food diary, just the days where I get pain, but there is no pattern to what I eat and what gives me pain. This has disappeared somewhat in the past year or so, after I’ve been having smoothies and eating more vegetables. It could be where I haven’t eaten well last week, but this week I have gone back to veggies most, and now I’ve started having pain again. Last night it wasn’t as bad, so I’m hoping it’s over now.

And then last night I got dizzy twice in an hour. Both times I was lying down reading, but all of a sudden I felt like I was falling and spinning. I had to grab the side until my head cleared. Again, this has happened in the past, one time I couldn’t drive because it didn’t clear quickly, but I don’t know what causes it or what caused it yesterday?

Tuesday 6 November 2018

Exercise

I'm not a gym-bunny, but I am feeling the need to do a bit of exercise.  Not specifically for weightloss (though that would be a nice side effect!), but to build up strength as well as toning/defining muscles a bit more.  As I've had a hysterectomy, I am at risk of osteoporosis, so it is recommended that I do plenty of weight-bearing exercise, and I like the idea of using my body as resistance.

In the past, I read "Lose Weight: Without Dieting" by David Nordmark (because it was free on Kindle at the time, and I download almost every free book I come across...) and, from what I remember, it complements the 2B Mindset quite nicely.  The same author has also written a few exercise books, samples of which are also free on Kindle.  I have been reading his "Workout: Routines" sample book, and have decided to use it to do some strength-based exercises.

Because I am unfit, to say the least, I'm going to build up these exercises adding a new one each day, until I can do the whole routine which, according to Nordmark, should take no more than 30 minutes.  As this is just a sample from one of his other books, this series focuses on Dynamic Stretches, ie those that involve movement in the stretch to also build up flexibility.

Here is his list of stretches, with the number of reps (the names are the names used in his book; I know some of them by other names, but I refer you to his book if you wish to find out more detail):


  • Sumo Squat Stretch - 10 reps
  • Sumo Squat Kicks - 10 reps
  • Ying Yang Squats - 10 reps
  • Football Kicks - 10 reps each leg
  • Ying Yang Bends - 10 reps
  • Ying Yang Side Bends - 10 reps
  • Tai Chi Waist Turner - 50-100 reps
  • Gymnastic Shoulder Shrugs - 10-15 reps
  • Gymnastic Shoulder Pull-ups - 10 reps
  • Towel Pulls - 10 reps
  • Side Towel Pulls - 10 reps
  • Dynamic Calves Stretches - 10 reps
  • Alternate Straddles - 5 reps each side
  • Dynamic Lion Stretch - 10 reps
  • Table Maker Strength - 10 reps
  • Kneeling Back Bend - once, as far back as you can go
  • Forward Rows - 10 reps
  • Dynamic Bridge Stretch - 10 reps


So, this will take me nearly 3 weeks to learn the full routine, and hopefully by then the habit will be ingrained.  I'm only on day 2 today, so have done Sumo Squat Stretches and Kicks.


Thursday 4 October 2018

What's the deal with BRCA and Cancer?

Everybody has the BRCA1 gene, and the BRCA2 gene.  The genes are tumour suppressors, whose job is to find tumour/cancer cells and kill them or stop them growing, while other cells kill them.
However, in some people, there is a mutation in that gene, so that they don't do their job properly.  For example, statistically, it takes 6 mutations in a cell for it to become cancerous.  Ideally, when mutations happen within the DNA, the cell self-destructs, or if it gets past that stage, other cells notice and kill them.  So the chance of 6 mutations, that have sneaked past all the checkpoints, to happen in a single cell is fairly low.  However, in people with the BRCA1/2 mutations, there are fewer checkpoints, resulting in certain cancers being more likely.

BRCA stands for BReast CAncer, as that was the first cancer linked with that gene, but it is linked to other cancers too: ovarian, prostate, pancreatic, peritoneal cancer, amongst others. 
To complicate things slightly: not all breast cancers (for example) are a result of the gene - many more are just random cancerous mutations.  But, if you have the gene, you are much more likely to get those specific cancers.
In the normal population, a woman has a 12% lifetime risk of getting breast cancer, and less than 2% lifetime chance of getting ovarian cancer.  In myself, as a BRCA1 mutant, I have (had) a 40% chance of getting ovarian cancer, and have a whopping 85% chance of getting breast cancer.  For comparison, the NHS/BMA (I can't remember who, offhand) considers a "high chance of cancer" to be greater than 1 in 3, or 33%.

I found out I carried the BRCA1 mutation, because I underwent a genetic test, specifically looking for the mutation.  Because the mutation is hereditary, to qualify for the test you need to have either a strong family history of cancer, or have a relative known to have the gene mutation.  In my case, my mum is BRCA1. She was tested because back in 2015, she was diagnosed with Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer, coupled with the fact that her cousin had died of Ovarian Cancer, previously.

Another Stat: Most women diagnosed with ovarian cancer are diagnosed at stages 3 or 4.  Of those diagnosed at stage 4, only 15% survive for 5 years from diagnosis.

Thank God, my mum's cancer responds well to chemo, as it is now over 3.5yrs from diagnosis.  Her cancer has been recategorised as Chronic Cancer, meaning the risk will never fully go away as it is in her blood and in her lymphatic system, but as long as she is willing to go through chemo, she should continue to survive.  Her latest round of chemo started last week.  This is her third recurrence (so 4th time of having cancer), and the chemo treatment is due to last until next Jan/Feb depending on whether they stop over Christmas.

My mum has suffered with IBS and digestion issues for years, and frequently had ovarian cysts that needed to be removed and fibroids.  Every time she went to the doctor, she would be told it was her IBS.  And I do believe she had IBS.  However, Ovarian Cancer also has the same symptoms as IBS.  When she was finally diagnosed, it was Stage 4 meaning it had already spread, and was in the lymph nodes in her neck.  After 4 rounds of chemo, the tumour and shrunk enough in her abdomen to be removed by surgery, and was still 20cm x 10cm n size!  They also performed a full hysterectomy at the same time.

So, my mum was given the option of the genetic test, and was shown to be positive for the mutation in her BRCA1 gene.  As it is hereditary, I had a 50:50 chance of having inherited it, and both myself and my sister have.  Similarly, my children both have a 50:50 chance of having inherited it from me, but as it is not a childhood cancer, they can't be tested until they choose, over the age of 18yo.  Incidentally, my mum inherited the mutation from her father.  BRCA1 also increases the risk of breast cancer in men, and increases their risk of prostate cancer.

So, for me, the choice was obvious: full hysterectomy ASAP.  I have had my children, I never wanted more than two.  Though not totally silent, Ovarian Cancer is dubbed the Silent Cancer because it's symptoms often get mistaken for something else, and there is no reliable test for ovarian cancer.  So, I had my hysterectomy in 2016, and am now on HRT for the next 15-20 years because I am in Surgical Menopause.  I have no periods, no mood swings (at least that I'm aware of), and no menopausal symptoms like hot flushes or night sweats.
Most people with a BRCA mutation, only have BSO (Bilateral Salipingo Oopherectomy - only ovaries and fallopian tubes), rather than full hysterectomy, but I also suffered from heavy and painful periods so had everything removed. (I've just realised that at some point in the past two years, I've forgotten the medical terms for heavy and painful periods.  It's myrrh...something or other, I think. I just can't remember! Found it: Menorrhagia and Dysmenorrhea. Phew!)

My sister, otoh, opted to have a double mastectomy first of all.  She had reconstruction with expanders, and then implants.  I am planning to have PBM too (Prophylactic Bilateral Mastectomy) but in ~4 years time.  The reason for the delay is because I Home Ed my girls, and don't want to take time out from that, and for them having to miss their regular activities.  Additionally, the reconstruction I want to have is a DIEP flap - this basically, means that at the same time as having my breasts removed, I will have fat pouches taken from my stomach (you know I have plenty there!) to reconstruct my breasts from my own tissue.  This greatly reduces the risk of the new breasts being rejects, and puts my slow-grown tummy fat to good use!  But, being a much larger operation than having implants, it has a much longer recovery time.  Hence, why I'm waiting until my children are old and confident enough to use buses etc by themselves, to get themselves to dancing and groups.  That said, if DD2 follows in DD1's footsteps and decides to go to secondary school, then maybe I can get it done a year earlier than planned?  And it's why I'm using the 2B Mindset to help me lose weight, as I need to get my BMI below 30 in order to qualify for DIEP.

One more thought before I stop: I am soooooo thankful for the NHS in the UK.  It seems to get a bad rep, but is absolutely brilliant.  They have saved my mum, and are continuing to save her and return her to health.  They have saved me from ovarian cancer (though technically the risk is not 0%, it's pretty close).  The op I had done, was free at the point of use.  I do have to pay for my prescription of HRT patches but that is a small price to pay.  In comparison, for the op I had (Total Laparoscopic Hysterectomy with 1 night in hospital) would have cost me upwards of $25,000 in the US, so I may have considered not having this life saving treatment.

Friday 28 September 2018

A bit about Me

I'm going to start with a confession - I'm not middle-aged.  At least, I hope I'm not, as I'm only 36yo.  But, it sounded good being alliterative, between Musings and Mum.  I am a mum to two girls (DD1 and DD2) whom I home educate, and I muse often, having random thoughts, ideas, projects I start and don't complete, and general rants against the government, companies and individual, mainly within my own head.
I read **A LOT** (I currently have 6 books on the go!) and have recently started MosaiCraft, which I love. I tutor Maths, around HEing my girls and driving them to dance/gymnastics lessons - which between them they do 6 days a week. And I'm working towards becoming a 2B Mindset coach/mentor.
I have the BRCA1 gene mutation, so am planning to have a double mastectomy in a few years as I currently have an 85% chance of developing breast cancer. I've already had a total hysterectomy to reduce my chance of getting ovarian cancer (it was previously 40%). I occasionally dream of going back to uni to study Genomics and Oncology when the kids have left home, but that's a few years yet as my youngest has only just turned 8yo.
Oh, and I've recently self-diagnosed (after being prompted by an expert) as autistic, which explains a thing or two in my past.  I'm also a Christian, and a Naturist, so am a collection or random labels, and am trying to be real and honest in these posts.
As for why I've started this blog- DD1 wants to become a vlogger, after watching many hours of Stampylongnose, SB737, and UnspeakableGaming, amongst others.  So, I thought it would be interesting to see what it's like to have a blog that I'll link to a FB page and see whether people actually look at it or not. To make things more difficult for me, I'm not going to show a photo of my face (unless it ridiculously takes off and is calling out for me to make a profit from this page <unlikely>), nor share with friends or family as a starting point for likes/followers. Anyone who finds this page and likes it, have found it randomly. Otherwise, I'm just using it as a sounding board for myself.

Once upon a time I did have a different blog (A Laid Back Parent's Blog) and managed to keep it up for a year, before life took over.  Surprisingly I still have 4 followers from back then (Hello, if that's you!), though for this new adventure I've changed my username from Laid Back Parent to Middle-aged Mum, as it seemed more fitting.
So yeah, that's me in a few paragraphs. I' sure you'll find out more about me in time. If you are reading this, feel free to ask any questions you have - at worst I simply won't answer.