Weekly Update

 It's nearly CHRISTMAS!! Yey!

🎵Four more sleeps to go!
Four more sleeps to Santa!
Four more sleeps 'til the big fat fella comes down our chimney and drinks our beer.
Four more sleeps to Santa!🎶

So this week, we have bought and made DD1's new bed, emptied out her old room (I am yet to start painting), finished working for the year and travelled to a random services on the motorway in order to swap presents before parts of the country go into tier 4.

We're fortunate, in that our plans haven't changed too much as we were going to be home over Christmas itself anyway, but we're unable to see family before and after.  It is for the best, and though I think things could have been done by the government a lot sooner, it is definitely necessary.  

If I don't get the chance to say it, I hope you have the best Christmas you can this year, given the circumstances xx

Weekly Update

You may have noticed that I have not numbered this weekly update. 
I also have not weighed myself recently.  

This is not a weightloss update.

After spending some time thinking about things, I have decided that I am going to use these weekly updates as just that - a way to update you guys with what has been happening this week, and not use it as a stick to beat myself that I am not losing weight.  As such, it doesn't matter if this is weekly update no 1 or no 422.  The date is automatically attached to the blog post, and you can search it by month if you are so inclined.

This week, I have spend a lot of time painting DD1's bedroom. Of course, she didn't want just one colour on her walls, but two.  And she didn't want one colour on each wall, but two - in a diagonal (I can only be glad that she didn't want an actually fade between the two colours, lol). And I had to paint her ceiling, by myself, with a brush because we had run out of new roller thingies. And then, we had to replace her carpet with laminate, which took the whole of Sunday, but I am (and more importantly, DD1 is) pleased with the results.

We have just ordered her a new bed (which should arrive before Christmas!) and I'm starting to move her stuff upstairs today.  Once her current room is empty, I can then start painting that for my study - yey!  I'm sooooo looking forward to that.  Well, not the painting, but it does need to be done, but I'm looking forward to having my own space where I can hide away when I need to. 

This week, we have also been following a local Christmas Lights Trail.  When I purchased the pack, I was expecting there to be 15 or 20 houses to visit - not over 80!  We did a few on Sunday night, but it looks like we won't be finishing in time for the competition this Sunday, lol.

I'm also continuing with the home education stuff. Locally, we've just requested a formal co-production process with the LA for updating their policy and training.  We'll see if that makes any headway!
Nationally, I'm still involved with the EHE Alliance, looking to fight the HE register and keep up the pressure during this HE Inquiry by the Education Select Committee.

Weighty Worries

I've been trying to write this post for the past fortnight, and I keep starting and deleting.  I'm going round in circles in my mind and I don't know what to do.

I am not losing weight.  It's easy enough to see why - I'm not limiting my eating enough and/or not exercising enough.  And I don't want to.  There, I said it.  I've known for a while my mind isn't in the right place to lose weight.

I'm ok with how I look.  Whilst ideally I would like to lose some weight, actually, I'm ok with how I am. I do have moments, especially when I'm on zoom calls, where I notice my double chin is looking more like a triple or quadruple chin, and I would like to be thinner so I have more choice of clothing, but I don't care enough to change for those reasons.

I'm trying to lose weight in order to have DIEP reconstruction when I have my double mastectomy.  I haven't spoken to a GP or surgeon yet, because I've heard that in order to have DIEP your BMI has to be below a certain level. My BMI is currently 34.5 and I've heard it should be a maximum of 27, if not 25 (ie top end of Healthy weight). So, I've started to think about having implants instead.  I've got no issue with implants, but it's not what I wanted, and that thought makes me sad. Yet, surely if I cared enough, I would make the effort to lose weight? Surely I wouldn't be stuffing mince pies in my gob at every opportunity?

When I had my hysterectomy, I planned on having mastectomy by the time I'm 40.  I'm 38 now, which means (assuming it takes a year for the process [ignoring coronavirus]), I need to see my GP and request it in less than 6 months time. I lack the self belief, let alone will-power, that I am going to be able to lose weight in that time.

I feel like stopping actively trying to lose weight is quitting.  And that isn't good for my depression.
I feel like continuing with the charade of weekly updates makes me a fraud.  And that isn't good for my depression.

If I could have surgery today and any reconstruction I want, I would choose DIEP, even with the added risks of being overweight and the longer recovery time.  Implants is an option, and I could potentially swap implants for DIEP later in the future.  But I don't want implants.  And I don't like to fail.

Who knows? This could be my depression talking, because it's dark and wintery, I've missed my antidepressants a bit too often recently, and I want an excuse to not have to watch what I'm eating with Christmas coming up.  Or it could be that I'm finally facing up to the truth that I don't have the willpower, energy, or strength of character to lose weight effective.  I'm just too lazy.

Weekly Update Y2w48

 Do you know, it's taken me til nearly the end of the year, before I noticed that I've numbered these weeks wrong?!  According to people in the know, it's actually week 49 this week, and that 2020 has 53 weeks in it.  I'm not going to change it now, but thought it was worth commenting.

I haven't actually weighed myself this morning. Yesterday I was 91.5kg and have been bobbling around there for a while, so still not go below 90kilos.  I don't have any defence, other than the Christmas overeating has already started for me - lebkuchen, iced mince pies, chocolate spread straight from the tub, all the usuals, lol.  If I can get to the other side of Christmas without putting weight on, I'll be happy.  I am trying to eat veggies most still.  My husband and I don't have potatoes or bread often any more with our Sunday dinners, but pile up different types of vegetables, and my tastes are slowly changing.  

I haven't got a graph today either.  I was up all night with my pup (and then DD2 came downstairs in the middle of the night after a nightmare) so between the two of them, I haven't had much sleep), so when I woke up and played on my phone (sorry, the daily challenges of Woodoku, Sudoku and Killer Sudoku won't play themselves, ya know) my phone promptly died, so it's currently charging, disabling me from being able to update my spreadsheet.

The past couple of weeks, most my time has been taken up with HE stuff, which is pretty obvious with what I've been posting recently.  There's still more to do, but I was glad I was able to take a day off and not switch my laptop on at all yesterday.

I've also been busy painting DD1's bedroom! It just needs a second coat of blue, the ceiling painted, and the carpet changed for laminate, then she can move in, and I'll be a step closer to getting my own work room!  I want to paint it before I start working there because I know what I'm like - I'd fill it with all my stuff, then decide it'll be too much of a hassle removing everything to paint it, so it will never get done.

I'm aware I haven't written any book reviews for ages either.  I currently have 1 or 2 that I'm still waiting to write, but haven't yet had the time, but I haven't read as much as usual recently, again because of my time taken up reading through various documents, guidance, and letters from LAs.

Weekly Update Y2w46

 I'm hoping things have turned a corner, and my weight is starting to go down again!

Clearly, going for at least one long walk a day is starting to help, as is starting to eat home cooked foods again. Now it's winter, I'm starting to make stews, soups and casseroles again, which I pack with vegetables.

I've actually been really busy this week.  I read a whole series of books, that I need to write a review for, as well as finishing a 7day prayer Bible Study.  We're starting to make progress at finishing the girls' bedrooms (well, DD1's, since DD2's was finished over the summer), which in turn means it hopefully won't be too much longer before my room gets done.  I'm really busy with tutoring, and am having to turn people away.  Once DD2 goes to school next year, I'll be able to take on more students.

And speaking of home education, my LA is being awful atm, so I'm having to organise, counteract and help coordinate the response to that, as how they are acting atm is totally unlawful. Grrr.

Weekly Update Y2w45

 Same old same old.

I thought that I was getting better last week, until I put on 1.5kilos yesterday.  My own fault for what I shoved in my mouth, but slightly disheartening none the less.  I did take the pup for an extra long walk this morning, so hopefully that'll help.  Our next veg box is coming this week too, so I live in hope that I will eat better too.

Weekly Update Y2w44

Not a pretty graph this week.  I don't have any excuse.  I've been lazy and not cooked much in the eveningd.  It's been Halloween and I made Witches Slime and Pumpkin Pie. And I've shared a couple of bottles of red with my other half.

Witches Slime
aka Green Custard
with sweets and fruit

The fortnightly average does look better than the 5-day average, but that's only because it's fairly constant recently - ie I'm not losing weight.

A second lockdown kicks off again this Thursday, and though schools are staying open, dance studios are not, so we're back to dance lessons via zoom.  Looking at the positive, I'll be kicked out of the living room again in the evenings, so I might as well cook delicious and healthy dinners.  
That's the plan anyway.

And I have started taking our puppy out for walks.  She is still terrified of the car, which in turn means she dislikes her harness and collar, however, once she is on the walk she seems to love it, so hopefully I'll be able to get plenty of walks and exercise with her.

Weekly Update Y2w43 & BodyGroove Workshop

 My weight has come down since last week - yey!  It hasn't been smooth sailing though, and my weight got even higher before it started to lower again.  And, where I'm alternating sleeping on the sofa, I keep forgetting to weigh myself, so that's why there are gaps in the graph.

I'm not giving up though.  

At the weekend, I did a 2-day Body Groove Workshop.  Back in June (I think), I was meant to be going to Birmingham for a face-to-face workshop with Misty Tripoli, but Coronavirus put paid to that. 
On each day over the weekend were 4 hours of Body Groove dancing, philosophy, meditation and life coaching, with women from all over the world. (Shout out to Bettina and Krista: I wish you both success and happiness in all you do.)

We were taught about the Seven Dimensions of Wellbeing: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Social, Spiritual, Occupational and Environmental.  We were taught that in order to have joy in your life, you need to be authentically you in each of these areas, and we can work towards that in small steps to increase the joy in our lives. 

There was also a key quote that bears repeating:

"You need structures in place that are sufficient to your resistance to succeed."

This is a key thing for me.  You have seen in my attempts of losing weight the past couple of years that my resistance to succeed is strong! I am hoping that now I have a dog, I will be forced to take a daily walk, but this still hasn't happened so far - our puppy hates wearing a collar and a harness, and we've been advised by both the breeder and a dog trainer to go back a stage and generate positive associations with them first, before taking her out.  But, it's taking a long time.  She is now more than happy to sniff and eat treats off them (which she wasn't before), but still panics if we try and lay them on her (not even doing them up).  Unfortunately, there are times when I have to take her out of the house, so am forced to put them on her despite her distress. Back to the point, I haven't yet been going out for daily walks.  But, I have tried to minimise my resistance to going - I've bought myself new boots and a set of waterproofs (incl trousers) so I cannot use the rain as an excuse for not getting outside.

We also looked at ways to bring more playfulness into our lives, and what it is that we truly desire without attaching judgements to those thoughts.  We need to increase connections, both with other people, but also internally.  We need to analyse the judgements we make of ourselves and ask ourselves four key questions, based on The Work by Byron Katie (which I've not read yet, but have added to my wishlist):

1. Is it true?
2. Is it absolutely true?
3. Who do I become because of that thought?
4. In that same moment, who would I be if I couldn't think those thoughts?

I found this challenging because a lot of my judgements about myself are about my need and desire to lose weight.  I am fat - that is absolutely true.  I do need to lose weight - if I want to have DIEP reconstruction after a mastectomy, but if I didn't think I needed to lose weight, I could have reconstruction using implants.  If I didn't align my self worth to losing weight, would I be happier?  What if I didn't keep thinking back to when I was 28 and managed to lose 5 stone (thinking "I did it once, I should be able to do it again"), rather simply accepted this is me now? [For context, I'm back at the same weight I was before I started losing it last time.  'They' say you can't keep the weight off for 5 years, but that's exactly what I did do, before it all piling back on.]  
This is an area that I still need to work on.

It has, also, reignited ideas about becoming a facilitator of Body Groove.  One of my fears is that nobody would want to take part because I'm overweight myself, but others assured me that that shouldn't be an issue, because although Body Groove enables a healthy lifestyle, the purpose isn't to lose weight (though it may be a side effect).  Other fears are around being the centre of attention, and being willing to allow others to see me getting my groove on.  I get embarrassed and self conscious easily, so am I willing to put myself out there and show other people there's nothing to fear?  What if nobody turned up and I was just in a room in a dance studio by myself - I'd find that really embarrassing too!  And of course there are the costs involved, and the added difficulty of covid meaning no more than 15 people at a time, socially distanced apart - can you even groove on the spot?  I don't know.  Much to think about, that's for sure.

Weekly Update Y2w42

This past two weeks haven't been great, in all honesty.  We've got a dog (yey!) who isn't sleeping much at night.  Touch wood, she is starting to improve, but for the past week both my husband and I have been very tired, so been eating more high calorific foods needing the energy and because we can't be bothered to cook.  

Unsurprisingly, my weight has sky rocketed.  There was even a few days where I totally forgot to weigh myself a couple of mornings after sleeping on the sofa all night.  

I am doing better today, though - I had a small bowl of no-added-sugar granola for breakfast and a chicken and salad sandwich on seeded bread for lunch.  And I plan to make lasagne with courgettes instead of pasta sheets for dinner tonight.  Now it's half term (from dance, if not actually from school yet) so I don't have to rush about here, there or anywhere, so I have time to cook.  

I'm not giving up.  I know I can get below 90kilos eventually, and I hope it's sooner rather than later.

Weekly Update Y2w40

From last Monday to today, my weight has dropped.  However, for much of the week my weight had sky-rocketed. I don't know why - I can't think if what I ate that would have resulted in such a jump, but it did.

Unusually, for me, my weight has actually been stable, when looking at it daily.  Usually it bobbles up and down each day, but there is a general trend.  This past week, however, (Do I use "however" too much?  I feel like I do, but can't think of a better word.) it jumped to 90.9kilos and remained there for some days, before stepping back down to 90.3kg a few days ago, and where it remains.

In terms of my food and drink, I am managing at least 2litres of water each day, if not 3.  I am eating more vegetables, though I have snacked a bit more than I normally would in the past couple of days.  Exercise has gone out of the window, tbf, since I did Race For Life, but we get to bring home our puppy this week, so that will certainly change.

I am still working on getting below 90kilos.  I am still working on getting to 60kilos, but that will take a looooong time, so trying to focus on 90kg.  Even that seems unachievable atm, though my more logical brain knows it isn't, and I just need to keep going.  Keep trying. Persevere. Don't stop. Never give up. Hold your head high and reach the top. (And yes, I hope you're now singing along with me.)

Weekly Update Y2 w39

 This is my big news of this week: 

Unfortunately, I still haven't hit my target of getting below 90kg by the start of September, but I have finally hit it - yey!

My daily weight is still very bobbly, as you can see, but hopefully (barring today) it is bobbly around the low 90s, so soon it should dip below.

I am drinking plenty of water - easily 3litres a day - which I think has helped a lot, and we changed our veg box from British to Quick Cook, which has meant, even when tired, between my husband and I we can rustle up something veggie based to eat.

This past weekend, I took part in the 2020 Race For Life, and surprised myself by how much I was able to jog.  I had intended to walk the 5K briskly, but when I was out, I challenged myself every now and again by running (jogging) a minimum of 3 lampposts.  And I raised a total of £125 for Cancer Research, which given my initial target of £50, I'm very happy with.  (And one final plug: Sponsor Me Here).

Weekly Update Y2 w37

Gah! I've put on weight this week. It's not a surprise - I haven't eaten great.  I haven't prepped any meals for a while, and exercise hasn't been top of my list either.  Hands up, it's my fault.

I did get closer - 90.2 kilos, but now weigh more than that again. Hmpf.
And this is why I've been record keeping for over 18months now...

Weekly Update Y2 w36

Last week I extended my timeline of trying to get below 90 kilos, as I only got to 90.7kg.  
This week I have lost weight - yey! - but only to 90.3kg, so I will be extending my timeline again.
I will get through this barrier... eventually.

My exercise had to go on hold this past week too.  Clearly I'm getting old, as I woke up last week in agony, not being able to move my neck.  It hurt just to sit up and walk around the house, so I wasn't going to be walking or jogging anywhere.  Fortunately, that only lasted a couple of days, and though my neck doesn't have full mobility again yet, I can walk around and drive without issue.  

I'm still looking for sponsorship for the 2020 Race For Life, so if you haven't sponsored me yet and can spare a couple of quid, please click https://tinyurl.com/sponsor-musings

So, for this week I am going to keep up the water, keep up the exercise, and I am going to eat more vegetables.  And, I am yet again, going to try and break through the 90kilo barrier.

Weekly Update Y2w35

I missed last week's update - not just because it was a bad week for my weightloss.  I genuinely was really busy.  As I shared in my update on facebook we have been working hard to redecorate the girls' bedrooms, sort out all the toys that the no longer play with now they are getting older, and I'll eventually get my own study.  This has actually taken most of my time, so I haven't worked any more on either the MosaiCraft I am currently working on, or the other project I mentioned a while ago.  My hope, when I do get my study, is that I'll have a space where I can work and get the work done that I need to every day.
In the same update, I mentioned on FB, that my mum's cancer has returned, and my dad now has prostate cancer.  I did manage to visit them both in August, for which I am grateful.
And, in addition to all that, it was both DD2's 10th birthday and my husband's 38th this past week, so I've been out for food a bit more that normal.

I had set myself the challenge of getting below 90kilos by September.  Honestly, I have not done well, not least before of the aforementioned reasons.  Technically I haven't failed yet - it's not September until tomorrow, but realistically I doubt it will happen.  Hopefully a single week more will get me down to that weight.

I do have some positives though, despite my spike in weight: I am easily drinking a good amount of water at the moment, and I am exercising and going for walks.  I have even signed up to do the 2020 Race For Life (in case anyone wants to sponsor me and can spare a pound or two, please click HERE) as a way to encourage me to keep going out.  I even went out last week when it tipped down, and got absolutely soaked!  But I did it, and the shower felt even better than usual afterwards!

So, for this week I am going to keep up the water, keep up the exercise, and I am going to eat more vegetables.  Last night I ate cabbage steak topped with taco seasoning and cheese and it was delicious! Now schools are going back next week, I need to get back in the habit of eating properly and preparing meals in advance.
And, I am yet again, going to try and break through the 90kilo barrier.

Weekly Update Y2w33

So, last week I made a commitment to get below 90kilos by the start of September.

As part of that, I have tried to go for more walks, and I have been out for walks 4 times this past week, I have a new mammoth water bottle (that holds 2.2litres) that I have been succeeding to drink each day, and I am trying not to eat carbs at night.

Last week I was 91.3kg, and this morning I am 90.9kg, so after an up-and-down week, I have lost weight overall.

And you can see that the yellow line in starting to dip downwards again - hurray!

This coming week, I am going to keep doing the same things: drink plenty of water, eat plenty of vegetables, and get some exercise.

If I keep losing 0.4kilos a week for the next two weeks, I should just reach my goal by the start of September.

Let's keep going!

Weekly Update Y2w32

As I mentioned the other day, my weight has been going up and down a fair bit recently.  The book that I'm reading with my friend talks about self-discipline, and I feel like I am lacking that. So, I have made a decision that I want to be below 90kg by September.  They say it is possible to lose 2lbs a week, and for me to achieve this, I need to lose 4lbs in 3 weeks, so it should be doable.  

I almost go down to that weight a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't stick.  To make things different, and try to establish good habits, I am not intending to do a crazy 3-week crash diet, get below 90kilos, and then pile all the weight back on.  Instead, I am trying to control small actions, and become more self disciplined over small things.

I am getting quite good at eating veggies most, and not eating carbs in the evening.  To help with this I have bought a couple of meal prep books, and once or twice a week, I am batch cooking, then portioning the meals off to put in the fridge.  That way, I know each meal is 300-400kcals, and even DD1 has been helping herself to some of the food, which is great, as she can be fussy at times!  Unfortunately, I haven't been taking photographs, and because I've been eating straight from the container, I haven't taken photos then either.  Next time (if I remember!) I'll take some decent photos.  I'll also do a review of the books and the containers I bought, in case they are of use to you.

You can see from the graph that though I have had some high and some low points recently, that the yellow line is starting to trend upwards, which isn't good.  I think partly because I'm looking at the whole year-so-far, I'm congratulating myself at no longer being 96kilos, whilst not making any progress to reduce my weight.  In order to own the gain, I'm going to truncate the graph again, and start from 1st of July.  From there you can see my recent highs and lows and hopefully it will be better encouragement/motivation for me to keep going.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  I am 91.3kg this morning, and I'd like to lose 2kilos in the next 3-ish weeks.  I am going to keep meal prepping, keep eating veggies most, and will try to do a short walk every day.  This afternoon a friend is coming to my house so we can walk together for a few kilometers.

I have also identified where I need more help.  I am getting better at choosing healthy foods.  I am much much less good at saying no to food.  For example, on Saturday I ate a healthy lunch and my husband came home and offered my a cookie so I ate it.  I don't want to deny myself foods, as I doubt I can maintain that long term, however, what I want to try to do going forwards is postpone it.  I don't have to have a cookie because it is offered to me there and then.  I know I like something sweet in the evening, so if I save my cookie until then, I can enjoy it more knowing that I have been healthy all day.  I started trying to do this yesterday, and I said no to an ice cream - even when my daughter offered to make it for me!  Small steps, but it's a start.

Weekly Update Y2w30

It has hit me this morning that I'm well into my second year of tracking and trying to lose weight and it's just so slow.  I woke up with a headache this morning, and though it has eased somewhat, I hope that this Meh feeling is just because of that and will go soon.

My Riverford Vegetable Box was so colourful this week, and even though I don't particularly like beetroot I couldn't wait to dig in and eat more vegetables - so much so that many days I forgot to take photos!

This week, however, my weight has remained pretty static, and that has been disheartening if I'm honest.  I keep flip flopping between being on fire, and cba so I stuff my face.  My logical brain knows that this is the reason why I'm not losing weight, and also what a blessing it is that I haven't been gaining! Yet, things are not moving quickly enough for me.

I am still really busy, and am trying to move more even when I have to be sitting either reading or in front of my laptop.  I am dancing on the spot, or annoying my girls by dancing around the room when trying to tidy up or do other chores.

Timewise, despite the mammoth list of things I want to get done over the summer that I listed last week, I feel like my time management is going well and I am getting things done.  Every day, I am doing a little of everything (blogging, reading, mosaicraft, tidying, tutoring, doing my project etc) and in this I am making progress!

And I have just bought some more books (yeah, I know!) in the hope that meal prepping may be the secret to me getting on top of eating healthy meals on the nights that I don't have the mental or physical energy to cook.  I'll let you know how it goes!

Weekly Update Y2w29

I'm a bit delayed with my usual update.  Life has suddenly got really busy - in a good way, but busy nonetheless.

I'm still tutoring atm, though that will end next week, as I've decided to take the whole of August off.  We've not got any plans to go anywhere (yet) but have lots of other projects to do and catch up on.
I'm still doing my MosaiCraft project.  I am now over halfway (currently on base plate 18 out of 30), but it has slowed down a lot, because I'm not sat outside as much as I was at the start of lockdown.  Instead, I am spending much of my time on m computer, not blogging, but working on my new project.  I am trying to spend a few hours each day on it, at least. It is going very slowly though, not least because I am doing it all myself.  I've set myself a deadline of Christmas to have it finished, but I have no idea if that is realistic or not?

Similarly, I am not reading as much as I was.  I am still several books ahead of my GoodReads yearly challenge, and I have a book that I am still yet to review, but I feel like I am spending more and more time on my laptop - much to the chagrin of DD2 who always wants my laptop to play Minecraft!

I'm also still singing with The Collective Virtual Choir.  I'm on my third song with them, but even that has taken a bit of a backseat, and I've been unable to go as many rehearsals as I would like.  Many are being recorded, so I can catch up, but that still requires time to actually watch them.  Today/tonight is the deadline for recording song 3 for feedback, and I still haven't had time to have a go yet, I just hope that when I do, the background noise is quiet enough for the recording to be acceptable.

So, that's all my excuses out of the way.  This past week hasn't been great in all honesty, but focusing on the positives, my weight today (which will be counted as part of next week's update) has finally got below 91kilos - again.  It's almost like to consistently lose weight, I need to reduce the takeaways, reduce the alcohol and up the exercise - who knew??!!

There is still the overall trend downwards from the start of the year, and even my localised peaks are reducing, but I have more work to do.

This week, I have been able to keep drinking Water First, and am hitting my water target of 90 fl oz (2.5litres) each day.  Yes, it does mean that I need the loo lots, but I notice the effect on my body when I don't drink enough, so I'm happy to continue.

I'm also getting back into the habit of eating Veggies Most.  Some examples from this week have included aubergine crisps, meatballs on courgetti spaghetti, and roast turkey with potato salad on a bed of courgettes.  Aiming to eat over half of my meals to be vegetables has been a challenge at times, especially lunchtimes because it's all too easy to make a sandwich or have a bowl of cereal, but yesterday I had an omelette stuffed with mushrooms and spinach, which was delicious, so I need to keep reminding myself that it is possible to eat Veggie Most meals that don't take ages to prepare or cook.

I have had some good news (ish).  For the surgery I want (my reason for losing weight - click on the Mastectomy label in the word cloud to the right), rather than getting down to a BMI below 25, which I thought, depending on the surgeon I may only need to get down to below 28 or even 30!  In real terms, that's still shitloads of weight I need to lose, but slightly less than I thought.

Edit to add:
I totally forgot to mention that over the summer we're changing our house around and redecorating.  DD1 has decided that her box room is too small for her (which tbf it totally is) so is moving up to the Play Room.  The Play Room is a total misnomer - it's really the Kids' Junk Room.  I avoid going up there as much as possible as it's not good for my stress levels.  However, as she wants that to be her room, I'm having to go up there to tidy up all the crap toys, that the girls haven't played with for years and years.  As DD2 still plays with these toys on the rarest of occasions, she wants many of them moved into her room, which means that the big 4x4 Ikea bookcase will need to be moved into DD2's room. 
Additionally, as DD2's room has never been decorated since we moved in 5 years ago, we're taking the opportunity to redecorate - which has involved me spending 2 full days tidying her room too, in order to get the floor empty enough that we can redecorate.  Obviously, it will be easier to redecorate before moving a giant bookcase in there.
And because DD1's new room was the playroom, the carpet is what was in the room when we moved it, and not only was it bad then, it is covered with paint and other stains, so she needs new flooring before she can move in.
DD1's old room, is going to become MY room - yey!  It is going to have a comfy sofa bed that guests can use, but I can read on, and a desk and chair so tht I can work in there, rather than on the dining table as I am atm.  Given I'd quite like to keep tutoring online, it will be a nice quiet room free of distraction, and NOBODY ELSE will be allowed in. Ever! My own space, that I can use to get away from everyone - yes!
So I'm still busy.

Weekly Update Y2w28

This week wasn't as good as last week, but not horrendously bad either.

My weight has gone up this weekend.

Entirely my fault what I put in my mouth, so I'm not making excuses, but we have had a lot of food in the house that we don't normally have: peanuts, snacks, marshmallows, sweets, cookies etc.  My husband took part in the Quarantine Backyard Ultra on Saturday, and needed a lot of high calorie snacks to help him run.  From being somebody who had only run a single half marathon before, he racked up an astonishing 36 miles over 9 hours!  I'm very proud of him, and my step-father-in-law who also competed.  (At time of writing, the race is down to the last 2 competitors who is on their 48th lap!  Wow!)
I do much better when I don't have these foods in the house.

We also had a BBQ yesterday.  I enjoyed having a naked burger on a big salad and home made
dressing. It was delicious.  Unfortunately, I also had two smores made with those giant marshamllows and digestive biscuits, as well as having marshmallows randomly through out the evening.
Again, I do much better when I don't have these foods in the house.

It's a new week, and I have another chance to try again.  At least my 'highs' are not even reaching 92kilos anymore, and my lows are regularly below 91kilos, that that is a good improvement.

Weekly Update Y2w27

Overall, I've had a good week this week.  I hit a new lowest weight, and though I haven't managed to break through 90kilos, I'm not gaining and that's the main thing!

For the past three weeks I have started exercising again by going  on walks with a friend, and with the family last Saturday.  It definitely raises my heart rate, though it's not too fast as I can still hold a conversation. It's certainly nice to be out of the house after being locked down for so long.

And I have finally finished Ilana Muhlstein's You Can Drop It (I'll write a review in a different post).  I am eating more vegetables, and enjoying different flavours and textures, and I'm genuinely not missing carbs in my evening meal.  Even yesterday, my family and I went to a drive-thru cinema and could order food to our cars, I had a naked burger, salad, coleslaw, a handful of sweet potato fries (giving the rest to my girls) and instead of dessert, I had a butterscotch milkshake. I'm not pretending the shake was 'healthier' than a regular dessert, but it was a treat that I could savour and enjoy.

So, this week, I am looking to cement Veggies Most, and hopefully break through this invisible barrier of 90kg.  I have already gone for a 4km walk today, and will see if I can sneak in another exercise at the end of the week.