Weekly Update No6

Recently it was Groundhog Day (February 2nd) – a date when if a groundhog emerges from it's burrow and sees its shadow then winter will last another 6 weeks, otherwise spring arrive early. In the UK, it’s not something I’d heard of until I saw the film Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray. In the film, a TV weatherman repeats the same day, over and over, until he falls in love with Andie MacDowell’s character, and crucially, she falls in love with him too.

That’s how my life had been, regarding trying to lose weight. I’m a fairly intelligent woman, I went to a good uni, studying a “difficult” subject (inverted commas because all courses at Oxford would be hard), and yet I make the same mistakes over and over. My intelligent/rational brain knows I’m doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results and therefore failing over and over. My emotional/non-intelligent side, optimistically thinks it’ll be different this time, and for some reason is surprised every time I fail.

So this past week, I have gained weight. Who would have known that, by not doing shopping for fresh veg, I would opt for takeaways and convenience food, rather than cooking “freezer surprise” because I don’t know what I’m eating? It’s not as if I’ve already written a blog post, after having made this mistake in the past… is it? Here, or here, or even here...

So, I’m going to aim to maintain this week. I still need to do a food shop; that will have to be arranged for tomorrow. This week is also peppered with dance exams, so lots of it I’m out and about, there will be convenience food, and DD2 especially wants a cake for each exam. At this point I time, do I honestly think I can resist not having a cake with her, for each exam? I’m firmly in self-sabotage mood in the moment. My house is a state, I feel like I’m too busy atm, too much running in my head to even think about what food I could and should be eating. So, maintain is the aim of the game. I will try and make good choices where I can, and not worry too much about the times where I can’t. If I make a mistake, it doesn’t have to ruin the whole day, or the week, or even say “the diet has failed”. It was a mistake in one moment, learn and move on.

I just have to learn, how to learn….