Why is Feminist a dirty word?

I read this article yesterday about why young women don’t call themselves feminists. This really annoyed me, because it’s just so stupid.

Feminism is defined by Google’s dictionary as “the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes”. Simply put, feminism just means women are not second class citizens, and in all honesty everybody should consider themselves feminists. We are now in the 21st Century, and women still have lesser pay than men, still are not promoted as often as men, still are expected to carry out the bulk of the chores at home and certainly carry the mental load for running a home.

Not only that, there are many circumstances where women cannot act as a man would, for fear of their own safety: running alone, especially at night; drinking alcohol or wearing a short skirt on a night out; even getting in a taxi is fraught with worry as women are expected to “take control” by taking a photo of the number plate and taxi license, for fear the driver is up to no good. [And yes, I do acknowledge that there are would-be attackers of men, too. I am not denying that. However, when a man is attacked, the first questions are not: Was he drinking? or What was he wearing? When a man is attacked the blame is firmly, and rightly, on the attacker. Women don’t have that privilege.]

Some of the reasons for not associating with feminists are because of stereotypes – the butch, man-hating, bra-burning lesbian. But even if that retort was thrown at you for calling yourself a feminist, so what? 

What does “butch” even mean? Again using Google’s dictionary (which I wish had a direct link, so I didn’t have to write it out in full each time), butch is defined as “having an appearance or other qualities of a type traditionally seen as masculine”. Now, I’m not usually one to blow my own trumpet, but when I was at uni, one of my friends created a masculinity quiz, and as a football loving, beer drinking, independent woman studying engineering, you’d be unsurprised to hear that I ranked higher on the masculinity scale than some of my male friends. Yet, I am not butch. I have chunky thighs, admittedly, but no strength in my arms at all, and I do like to wear a nice dress.

Man-hating is just silly. Lifting women up and empowering them so that they achieve the same levels and possibilities as a man, is not hating men in any shape or form. As a happily married woman, to a man, I can confirm that I have no desire to see the male sex downtrodden in any way. I just also happen to think women should not be downtrodden either.

As for bra-burning…? Well, any woman who says they don’t want to burn their bra, either has a medical condition, is so endowed that it causes back pain to not wear one, or is lying. Bras are uncomfortable. And yes, I have been measured properly. No, not by M&S. Talking with friends one day, a friend politely suggested that I was not the size I thought I was, and they were right. After being measured correctly, my cup size did miraculously increase by 4 sizes overnight. The new bra is undoubtedly much more comfortable than my old one, and I no longer suffer from ‘double boobs’; but at the end of the day, it is such a comfort to get home and remove my bra. In fact, not wearing a bra, is one of the reasons why when I do have my PBM, I do not want my nipples spared nor reconstructed. Summer days of Tshirts without a bra underneath – bliss!

Lastly, lesbianism. Really? Is that the best you can do? Whether it’s something you identify with or not, even if you are someone who considers it to be sinful, how can being a lesbian be any more of an insult than calling me out for being heterosexual? [Now, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be upset for being insulted because of their sexuality; and I am fully aware of the privilege I’ve had because I am heterosexual. What I’m trying to say, and clearly failing as I have written and deleted these past sentences multiple times, is that we need to move away from society thinking that is an ‘allowed’ insult.]

Things do seem to be changing, albeit slowly, thanks in part to social media and various hashtags like #IamAFeminist #ThisisWhatAFeministLooksLike and #EverydaySexism. Various celebrities, male and female, are being more prominent and calling themselves feminists. Slowly, men are starting to call each other out on their behaviour.  Things are improving, but there is still a definite need for feminism.

Feminism is not a dirty word.

I am a feminist and I hope you are one too.