My Books of 2019

Now I've had this blog for over a full calendar year, I can see the books I have read this past year - so here is the list of them!  If you look at my blog, there are more book reviews than just these ones list, but they weren't actually read this year.

For each book, I have linked to my review (and within each review is a link to the Amazon page where the books can be purchased, though of course there are many other book retailers where you may prefer to spend your money).

January
King Arthur and Her Knights 1-3
King Arthur and Her Knights 4-7
Love Me Sweetie
Bloom: 50 Things

February
No books finished this month!

March
Women of Courage

April
Again none.  I was doing a Bible read-through, where I was reading the whole Bible within 6 months, and that often took more time than I planned.  This coming year, I'm going back to reading it over a year.

May
Nowt. Nada.

June
Finished reading the Bible!

July
Lorna Doone
The Fourth Element Trilogy
Love Me Dreamy
From Daughter to Woman

August
Enjoy Your Prayer Life
Born a Crime
Dev Haskell Private Investigator 1-14
Blood Singers Series
Skip
When the Body Says No
Stories Aren't Just For Kids
Garden Girls Cozy Mysteries 1-3
Fahrenheit 451

September
Abducting Abby
After Math
All The Way To Heaven
Agent With a History
Against the Odds
Russian Hill
Contract Snatch
Emotions, Mirrors of the Heart

October
Praying For Your Children
Parenting
Kappa Quartet

November
Adam's Journey
The Poet X
A Life of Balance
Sei Thrillers 1-3
The Pilgrim's Progress
The Overcoming Life

December
Love Me Darling
The Forgotten Girls 1-3
The Ravagers 1-5
plus two more books whose reviews have not been published yet!
(I will add them to this list later this week)

Wow, that's quite a list!  Thirty-nine different links, with over 70 individual books read (I've included the Bible as one book, rather than 66 separate ones).  I said the other day that I thought trying to read 50 books in a year might be challenging, but clearly I am reading more than I thought, so will aim to read at least 70 again next year.

The Ravagers by Alex Albrinck

I've still been working through my list of books from my old kindle that I had bought, but hadn't read.  Now I have a new one, there's a feature where I can automatically see all the books that I have and haven't read, so I don't need to keep my paper list any more.  Anyway, The Ravagers by Alex Albrinck was next on my list to read, so I have read it this month.  Having read previous books by him, I knew I wouldn't be able to put this down, and I wasn't wrong.

The blurb says:

In the distant future, humanity staggers as wave after wave of population decimating catastrophes push humanity near its extinction point.

A gift from the past provides them a way forward, and soon the human race is exploding its numbers, recreating civilization, generating art and commerce, and expanding its technological capabilities. The growing human civilization also bring back the concepts of war; East and West wage an eternal detente, neither side willing to attack, neither willing to announce peace.

In the midst of resounding success, a dark force conspires against humanity: the unleashing of a shockingly deadly, destructive weapon that will leave humanity on the brink of extinction once more.

Five people must deal with the launch of this weapon, work to survive, atone for their role in its creation, and try to discover and thwart the plans of those who launched it. 

Before it's too late. Before everything is gone.

The Ravagers is set in the future and refers to our time as "The Golden Ages".  It is interesting because it has advanced technology in some areas, but not in others (for example, no air travel) and people are scattered around the world in densely populated, walled citiplexes, that keep everyone safe from the beasts that roam the land.  One of the ways that technology is advanced, is in the area of weaponry - Ravagers are robots that can deconstruct any material (except Diasteel!) down to its atomic constituents, before using those elements in order to create more ravagers.  As such, a few can easily become a thick oily sea of ravagers ravaging the country.

It took me barely a week to read all the books in this series.  I don't want to go into too much information, but there were some surprises that actually did surprise me!  There were also some I could spot too, but was riveting nonetheless.  This series is set in the same universe as the aliomenti series, but you certainly don't have to have read that to read this - I personally recommend you read both!

Weekly Update No52

And I've got to the end of a year of updates!!!

Ok, there were some weeks I've missed, but overall, considering I am not very good at starting new habits, nor am I very good at breaking old ones, I think that's pretty good, even if I do say so myself!

As expected, I have put on weight over Christmas, but it is only slightly. That massive spike was my weight on Boxing day, but it has settled somewhat, and though my average has increased again recently, there seems to be a sinusoidal pattern to my 5-day average.  Obviously, that is not that useful for actually losing weight, but is a good thing to notice (I think) when I'm simply recording what I weigh. 

In the new year, I will need to make more of an effort to actually lose weight, and then to keep it off.  I haven't determined yet how best to do that, especially as I'm not making any resolutions this year, but it is another thing I am keeping in mind. I want to keep up my weekly updates though, and think I will go for a slightly different numbering system.  Instead of calling next week No53 (which it undoubtedly is), I think I will go for Yr2No1, so it is easy(er) to see at a glance whereabouts in the year we are.

Happy Christmas and New Year!

I hope you've all had a good Christmas, and will have a fantastic New Year to come!

Image by Markéta Machová from Pixabay 

I know I haven't posted much recently (and aim to post my last weekly update of 2019 tomorrow - if I remember), so hope you've all had a good time.  I had a good Christmas day with my husband and girls, but was ill on Boxing Day, recovered the next day but because I hadn't done much I was literally awake all night.  It did mean I got to finish yet another book (ooh, did I mention, my husband got me a new kindle for Christmas!?), so I'm even further behind writing up my reviews.

I have today joined Goodreads, as I was prompted by my Kindle (I've since learned that Amazon now owns goodreads, so that'll be why), so that'll be yet another outlet for me to bore share my reviews with everyone.  As I had to write 20 reviews in order to get recommendations from goodreads, and I wanted them sooner rather than later, I have slightly skewed my results by adding all the book reviews from here all on to there dated today, but at least in the future the timing should be more realistic.  I can also see that you can set a target of the number of books to read in a year, and I don't know whether to be conservative (20) or challenge myself (50) or choose a more realistic number in the middle.  When I'm in a 'reading mood', I can read a book a day - especially if I'm on holiday.  However, I know that when I read my classic (I aim to read one a year), it often takes me much longer than I would guess, due to the old language or simply because it's more verbose than many contemporary books.

Then, there's new years resolutions to think about.  I've decided I'm not going to make any - not one.
I don't keep them - they just are another stick to beat myself with, so I'm not going to resolve to do anything different.  I want to lose weight, in order to have DIEP, but if it means I have to have implants instead, so be it.  I would like to lose weight, but would rather spend time with my children creatively, than worrying about keeping things tidy so I had space to exercise.  And we've not long gone past the shortest day of the year (in terms of daylight, not hours - that's in Spring) and I still feel good.  I have been talking with my therapist about stopping sessions, and I feel like that won't be detrimental to me.  I haven't yet conquered my emotional eating, but when it happens and I put on weight (you'll see tomorrow, just how much...) I don't berate myself and have huge guilt leading to another binge.  So, that's progress!  I also have bought another version of year-in-a-Bible and am looking forward to that again from the 1st.  I am hoping my younger daughter will permit me to read it to her, because I have decided to try The Message translation (ie one with much more contemporary language).

So that's my round up of the past week or so.  I now need to find out why my Snowball keeps separating? Yuck!  Next time, I'll just drink the Advocaat neat, I think! Cheers xx

Hair Transformation

This year I decided to buy myself a Christmas present.  As I don't go to the hairdresser's often (my usual routine is get it cut to the jaw/shoulder, then let grow for 2-3 years before cutting again.  No point wasting money in between on trims...) I will get my hair done as I have always wanted it.

Well, always is a bit strong because though I have always wanted the colour, how that colour would be applied has changed.  When I was a teen, I wanted jet black hair, but with a purple sheen.  I never died my hair then, because I was a 'good girl'.  It was against the school rules, and wouldn't look good when going to university open days.  When at uni, I wanted to go a more vibrant purple, but again, I didn't because it wouldn't look good when going to job interviews.  In my job, I would have liked to go purple, but again, it would not look very professional.  So I never dyed my hair.

After I quit work (to become a SAHM, and then later when HEing), I thought about it again, and when I turned 30yo I got my friend to dye my hair for me.  As my hair is naturally very dark, it needed bleaching to within an inch of its life.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of red pigment in my hair, so rather than a nice white-blonde, my hair turned decidedly 'lion mane'.  Not to worry, as I was putting purple over the top.  However, it turned out that we hadn't got the hair white enough, so the purple came up very very dark.  More like the black with purple sheen I had wanted in my youth.  Not only that, the colour barely lasted a fortnight before needing to be redone, and redone and redone.  If you haven't gathered by now, I'm not a girly girl.  I'm not high maintenance.  I can't be arsed to spend all that time and money on myself.  So eventually I dyed it brown again.

Fast forward a few years, and I've been wanting to dye my hair again.  I've been getting recommendations from friends (and random people on the street with bright hair!) as to where to go.  I finally decided to travel to Swindon to get it done by Sharon Rewston and I'm not disappointed.  Even though it cost a lot of money (to me, that is, given I don't get my hair trimmed due to the cost!) I am very, very pleased and can say it was well worth it.  And eight hours sat in the chair, with a hair dresser that was happy to let me read, rather than make small talk (thank you!), meant I finished a brilliant book, that I'll review in the next few days. A full head of foils is heavy!  I swear there must have been a whole roll or two of foil on my head, lol. It turns out, that my virgin hair can actually get quite white with the right bleach, but it's the previously dyed ends that make me look like a lion.  And nobody realised how long my hair was (almost everybody, including my husband, thought the first picture was DD1!), because I always wore it tied up in a tight, but messy, bun.

So yes, I'm happy.  Having only had it done on Monday, I don't know yet how it'll fade, but fingers crossed it'll last a good 6+ weeks, and I have the last of the pink dye to mix with my conditioner in order to refresh it. I have had so many compliments, from friends and strangers, I'm wondering why I had never done it earlier?  Not only that, even my mum thinks it looks lovely! 💖

Weekly Update No50

I've nearly completed the year! Wahoo!

That means it's nearly Christmas, and since it is December, I am eating mince pies again.  That may (or may not - for those who haven't read my previous blog post, and the FB post that prompted it, you may [or may not!] realise 'may' is a modal verb that denotes possibility not fact) have something to do with my weight going up and the graph looking bumpy again.  Or it may be that the earth's gravity field is stronger every December, so people's weight is heavier when their mass is the same - who knows? (Ignoring the fact that weight and mass are different, and mass is measured in kilos, not weight, but I'm using convention of measuring weight in kilos not Newtons.  Argh! When people are all pinickity [which I've just googled and apparently I should be using pernickety or finickity] and I'm trying to write as clearly as possible, explaining as much as possible it gets all convoluted and complicated. Gah!)

Nothing else really to report, though.  I'm still tracking my weight and most of my calories... I'm not exercising atm as fates have deemed that there are no Fridays that I can do until the New Year.  Despite that, though, I have managed to change my appearance somewhat, but I'll share that in tomorrow's blog.

People are funny

...weird, that is, not funny haha.  Though I am laughing about it all.  Luckily I'm in a good place mentally, so I can laugh about it; otherwise I fear what it would have done to my mental health.

In this blog I have posted much about my life, on lots of different topics.  I know I swerve from 'the norm' on some things - I'm a Christian, I home educate, I consider myself a naturist, and most recently I voted against the winners of the general election.  Within this blog, though I generally use it for book reviews and for tracking my failure to lose weight, I have posted the occasional more controversial topic.  Yet, it is a post that I thought was pretty middle of the road that has caused a bigger reaction than I expected!

I posted this directly on my Facebook Page in response to the result of the election.  I admit that my tongue was in my cheek when I suggested that the electorate were stupid, selfish or both, but did use the qualifier 'may' and pointed out that it's an opinion not a fact.
The rest of the post, however, was talking about how to help people in the coming days, months and years because I think a Tory government is not good for society, and does not have people's (especially poor people's) best interests at heart.
Finally, as I get prompted by FB on every post I write, I thought this may be a relevant one to actually add a donate button to.  I don't know you, I am not telling you you must donate, I am not saying reading my blog is on the condition of donating, but is something you could choose to do should you wish.  I chose the Trussell Trust because it is an organisation that has food banks nationally around the country.  I could have chosen a food bank that was local to me, but given that I know I have readers all around the country, and indeed around the world, I figured they wouldn't care about a food bank in my little town.

At time of writing, this post on FB has currently got 114 reactions (yey!), 57 comments, and 17 shares!  I naively thought that if people didn't like what I had to say (though as I've said, I didn't think it was controversial) they'd just scroll past and ignore.  There's so much that comes up on my FB newsfeed, that even from pages that I usually like, there is the odd post that doesn't resonate so I simply move on.  If it's a page I haven't 'liked' on FB, unless there was something absolutely ridiculous and needs refuting, if I don't agree with a post I'll either scroll past or at worst, hide it from my newsfeed.

You can probably tell where I'm going with this!  when I woke up Saturday morning, I was surprised to see that I had upset someone by choosing the Trussell Trust to donate to.  In that thread of conversation I was repeatedly told "you really are an idiot"; a different person said "coming to your page with insults, you started your diatribe with the very same insults, because you and millions of other moaners lost an election."  though in an interesting twist these two people then started arguing with each other.  Other comments, in response to my post: "Accept the result and stop preaching to the rest of us. You come across narrow minded, judgemental and bigoted."  being a Christian, I've sat in my fair share of sermons, and reckon I could preach with the best of them; this wasn't it.  Here I was just trying to suggest that people are kind to each other - clearly I failed! Finally (again, at point of writing), I'm told "You are stupid and selfish." Not one to normally boast, but having a Masters degree in Engineering Science from the University of Oxford (and I do have friends who read this blog, who were at uni with me - I'm not lying), I can categorically say I am not stupid.  I may not understand some things, or may lack knowledge in certain areas, but I hold my hands up and am honest if that is the case.  Similarly, I don't think I'm selfish [often. I think everyone, including me, is selfish at times.  I try my best to override that part of myself, and with God's help, I can manage it sometimes], nor do I think it selfish of me to say that we should be kind and love one another.  Surely that's common sense and part of being a good person?

Oh well, you live and learn.  People are funny weird, and I can laugh at it all.

Edited to add some more comments:
Very funny! Begging for our money to line your own pocket, just like many others! Try working for your money like we do!  As much as I wish I was paid for writing my opinions, I'm not, so receive all this abuse for free.
 if you want people to be kind how about giving it a go your self!   In reaction to not understanding the words 'may' or 'just an opinion'.
Your post insults a lot of hard working, decent people   Other than a tongue in cheek comment, that already has been clarified, I fail to see where I have insulted people, but suggesting a few things.

Oh well, you can't please everyone!

The Forgotten Girls by Alexa Steele

Going through the books on my kindle that I haven't read yet (regular readers of my blog will know that I had over 600 books, and am now down to around 500) I decided to read this one yet, not knowing anything about it other than the title.  As has been known to happen on more than one occasion, ahem, I got hooked and ended up buying the rest of the series...

I will insert a Trigger Warning here: the main character of the books works for the Sexual Victims Unit - as such, the theme of these books is sexual violence against girls and women.

The blurb for The Forgotten Girls says:

In an elite suburb of New York City, girls are dying. That doesn’t happen in Greenvale, with its immaculate lawns, exclusive yacht clubs and multi-million dollar mansions. But behind its perfect façade, its trimmed hedges and luxury cars, a darkness lies. Girls, dependent on Adderall, outmaneuver each other to get into top colleges, while the mothers’ need to live vicariously only makes it worse.
Bella DeFranco is one of the Bronx’s top SVU detectives. At only 37, she disarms everyone with her stunning good looks, yet she is as tough as most men—and a lot smarter, too. Yet when is summoned to Greenvale, she finds herself getting lost in a case that even she can’t comprehend. She stumbles into a land of secrets, a place where husbands hide their pasts from their wives, where friends are not what they seem, and where no one wants to know too much. As she digs deeper into layers of suburban dysfunction, she comes to learn that, behind all the fake smiles, there is a subtle violence--rivaling even her crime-ridden streets of the Bronx.
With a killer on the loose, time running out, and a new partner who never recovered from his washed-up alcoholic days, the odds are stacked against Bella. She is determined, though, to save these girls, whatever the cost. Yet as she gets close, the depth of psychosis she discovers shocks even her….

When I read this book, I immediately related to Bella - not least because I also have stunning good looks and am smarter than most men...  No, what I liked was her determination, drive and ambition.  She squirrels away, determine to find the truth and bring justice for the girls.

In the second and third books of the series, the investigations are stand-alone but the character of Bella and her partner Mack develop. You learn that something happened to Bella in her childhood that is the reason why she works so hard for the SVU, but it doesn't go into details.

I read the whole series in less than a week, it was that riveting.  Alexa Steele really knows how to pull you into a story.  You enter their world and get caught up into the lives of the rich and exclusive, and the seedy and violent dark side.  At the end of the 3rd book, it does say that there will be a 4th book at some point. I hope it's soon!

Love Me Darling by Laura Burton

I was given this book for free in exchange for an honest review

This was my favourite of the Love Me series, not least because it involved all the couples from the previous books, but because Laura is back to her best, writing straightforward cozy romance.

Love Me Darling is a festive romp, in the days leading up to Christmas, between Lottie and Lucas.  Lottie has fancied the pants off Lucas, like, forever, and Lucas has recently started seeing Lottie in a new light, rather than the little kid he has known for years. 

The blurb says:

A short Christmas romance to warm your heart this winter.
Lottie: I hate Christmas.
The LED lights give me a headache.
I can't sing. And I get sick. Every. Single. Year.
This year is the worst. My Nan is practically on her deathbed and has planned for the biggest Christmas party this world has ever seen. Everyone will be there. Lucas Green is invited. My childhood crush. The guy I've been stuck in the friend zone for years. This is my last chance to get him to notice me. But how do I stop looking like an idiot with all the Christmas cheese at every turn?
Lucas: It's the best time of year.
Business is booming.
Ada's about to give birth any day now.
The town is full of cheer. And Lottie is coming home for the holidays.
This is it. The year I finally make a move. Otherwise, I think Ada will kill me. Problem is, every time I see her, my legs turn to jelly and I act like a total idiot. I need to woo her with lots of Christmas surprises. I mean, who doesn't love Christmas? Nothing can go wrong.

An adorable Christmas story including all of the couples from the 'Love Me' series. Laughter, tear-jerking moments and swoon-worthy romance all wrapped up in Christmas gift wrap. A British Christmas romance suitable for all ages.

 As we're coming up to Christmas in real life, I'm feeling all festive anyway, and was looking for an easy-to-read story that will get me in the Christmas spirit, and this was it.  Yes it is predictable, but it all worked out in the end and that is exactly what you want from a book like this.  I love made-for-TV Christmas movies (it's a December tradition that I aim for one a day in the run up to Christmas), and I can easily imagine this story being made into a film.  It would fit right in amongst the other Christmas romances on the small screen.

As always, the story is well written by Laura, and immediately sucks you into their world.  It took me just over 24hours to read the book, which given how busy this time of year is (and by busy I include the time I spend watching Christmas films!) is a testament to the fact I couldn't put it down.  Other than a couple of clunky sentences (which stood out in contrast to the usual high standard of Laura's work), it was very easy to read.

I would recommend to anyone wanting a festive romance this year.  Though it is the conclusion of the Love Me series, it is a stand alone book.  There are some references to the characters from the previous stories, so though you don't have to read them first, to see them in greater depth, read them too!

Weekly Update No49

My weight started to decrease this week!  Well, until I had a binge day on Sunday, and accidentally ate too much today, but the graph is still looking good.

I need to empty the freezers as we're coming up to Christmas, and I have a lot of frozen fruit and veg, so I plan to make smoothies for lunch the next few days.  Even with almond milk (I sometimes make water-based ones, but have some milk to use up), they should be a 'good' number of calories, and filling too.

However, as it is the Christmas season, I have a few meals out, drinks etc planned.  On Friday, there's a Presents and Puddings evening with ladies from my church.  We'll all be round a friend's house, sharing various desserts, and having a Secret Santa gift swap game (where you can 'steal' someone else's present, but similarly, yours can also be 'stolen').  Then Saturday I'm going to London to have lunch (and a few drinks!) with girls from uni.  I last saw them in September, so it'll be good to see them again.

Weekly Update No48

Oooh, it's been a full week since I last posted,  I can't remember the last time that happened (holidays excepting).  Actually, it's been longer, as I'm two days late posting this.  Oh well.

I have kept up tracking for a second week!
My average has stabilised, and my weight has flattened out.  Considering we're coming up to Christmas, and I'm not stopping what I'm eating, it's no bad thing that it has.  Now it's December, I'm watching Christmas films and eating mince pies; enjoying myself, but tracking.

I probably should try and do something to kick-start the weightloss again.  Even if I lose weight one week and stabilise the next, over time I could lose a lot of weight, and that is a good thing.

Weekly Update No47

So, last week I started again (again, again...) and was motivated to change some habits.
The first habit I'm trying to change, rather than my eating, is my tracking.  And, I have kept it up a week - yay!

Ok, a week isn't very long, but it's a start.  And it has had an impact on my weight, which is quite impressive since I haven't modified what I've been eating, and have been out for out for a night with a friends, and a meal out with other friends on a different day.

Looking at the numbers, there's only a kilo or two lost in the extremes, with some daily fluctuation in between, but for zero effort, I'll take that.
Just need to keep it up another week.

The Overcoming Life by D L Moody

D L Moody is one of those names who are renowned for their writings and preaching as an evangelist.  Though I don't know much about him as a person, I know the name is considered one of the greats of olden times (yes, I know so little that before reading the wiki link I had no idea what era he lived in!) and that as a Christian, I should at least read some of his works.

The blurb for says:

Are you an overcomer? Or, are you plagued by little sins that easily beset you? Even worse, are you failing in your Christian walk, but refuse to admit and address it? No Christian can afford to dismiss the call to be an overcomer. The earthly cost is minor; the eternal reward is beyond measure.

Dwight L. Moody is a master at unearthing what ails us. He uses stories and humor to bring to light the essential principles of successful Christian living. Each aspect of overcoming is looked at from a practical and understandable angle. The solution Moody presents for our problems is not religion, rules, or other outward corrections. Instead, he takes us to the heart of the matter and prescribes biblical, God-given remedies for every Christian's life. Get ready to embrace genuine victory for today, and joy for eternity.

This book is very straight-talking.  Moody pulls no punches when talking about sin and how it affects us.  He does use humour and anecdotes to explain and help convey his meaning, so though it is a blunt book, it didn't feel like he was being accusatory or holier-than-thou.

Being written in the 19th Century, it is written in old English, and all Bible references are from the King James Version, so though it is updated, the language isn't.  The other thing that stood out to me, was Moody's damnation of alcohol, and drinking at all.  I'm guessing that is part of the social context, as reading about prohibition on wiki, there was a societal movement against alcohol before prohibition became law in the early 20th century.  As a Christian who does drink alcohol, I don't agree that we need to abstain entirely, but if it is a problem to you as an individual, then it is certainly wise to not drink.

Overall, though, I'm glad I read the book, and am more inclined to read other books by Moody, or other evangelists of the time (eg Spurgeon).

Pilgrim's Progress by John Bunyan

I remember this book being read to me in Primary School.  Being sat on the carpet, and the teacher reading a chapter a day.  We'd then have to go away and draw a picture for something we heard.

I was wondering about reading it with DD2, so thought I better read it myself first, in case my mind was playing tricks and there were things that are not suitable.

I needn't have worried.  The 'worst' thing about this book is the language. Not swear words or anything like that, but it being old-fashioned, so may be difficult for a 9yo to understand.

The story itself is just as I remember.  A man called Christian has to travel a long way to get to the Celestial City, and encounters many friends (and foes) along the way.  It isn't an easy route, there is always temptation just around the corner and choices to make.

Normally, at this point in my reviews, I copy and paste the blurb from Amazon.  In this case, different versions (kindle, paperback, hardback, audio etc) have different descriptions! so I am going to combine them in a way that I hope makes sense:

The Pilgrim's Progress from This World, to That Which Is to Come is a 1678 Christian allegory written by John Bunyan. It is regarded as one of the most significant works of religious English literature, has been translated into more than 200 languages, and has never been out of print.It has also been cited as the first novel written in English. Bunyan began his work while in the Bedfordshire county prison for violations of the Conventicle Act of 1664, which prohibited the holding of religious services outside the auspices of the established Church of England.

The Pilgrim’s Progress is an engaging allegory of the Christian Life which has instructed and entertained countless adults and children over the past three hundred years.  As befitting a highly imaginative work, its style is simple and accessible.  

The story follows the spiritually tormented Christian on his difficult journey from the sinful City of the Destruction to the the Celestial City and its promise of salvation. Along the way Christian encounters a cast of characters who threaten his progress with temptation, imprisonment, and torture, while also finding support in the fellowship of other pilgrims and his own growing faith. Bunyan’s simple Christian allegory was written to inspire the faithful, but has since been recognized by scholars as a great novel in its own right. 

As I was reading this book, I was reminded of a hymn that was sung during assemblies at Secondary School: He Who Would Valiant Be.  The lyrics are:

He who would valiant be 'gainst all disaster,
Let him in constancy follow the Master.
There's no discouragement shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent to be a pilgrim.

Who so beset him round with dismal stories
Do but themselves confound - his strength the more is.
No foes shall stay his might; though he with giants fight,
He will make good his right to be a pilgrim.

Since, Lord, Thou dost defend us with Thy Spirit,
We know we at the end, shall life inherit.
Then fancies flee away! I'll fear not what men say,
I'll labor night and day to be a pilgrim.

 I had a 'duh' moment, when I looked the hymn up (as I couldn't quite remember all the words) and discovered that not only was the hymn written by John Bunyan, it actually appears in Part 2 of the original Pilgrim's Progress.  Learn something new every day!

So yes, I enjoyed this book very much.  Though I read the Youth Version, I think the language is still too difficult for my daughter, so I have since purchased a Children's Version of The Pilgrim's Progress (arriving today!) which may not be as poetic as either the original, it will be understandable for her, and hopefully she'll have some cherished memories of the book too.

Weekly Update No46

I am in the mood for trying again.

I got up early[er than usual], weighed myself for the first time in yonks and am the heaviest I've been for even longer. In a bid to stop me having cravings and eating crap later on, I have had 50g of porridge oats with water (185kCals) and have started tracking what I'm consuming again.  I've got a different book to the 2B mindset one, but it still records the same information, plus how you're feeling on that day.  As I'm not recording 3 things I'm grateful for atm, I hope I can add that into the same book, even if I decide to copy it up later. 

For now, I will track how many calories I'm eating though it's not something I want to do long-term.  Counting calories has worked for my husband, who in the space of a few months has gone from being the same weight to me, to as skinny as he was when we first met.  I doubt my transformation with be that quick (not least because I don't want to start running 10+Ks every weekend!), but I can use calorie counting as a tool, to hopefully stop me eating that extra snack or two when confronted with how much energy it contains, that my body will efficiently store as extra fat.

I may start watching the 2B Mindset videos again.  At the weekend, I was talking to a friend about her weightloss, and though she used a different program, the essence was very similar to 2B Mindset.  I felt a bit awkward because I knew everything she was telling me, and I believe everything she was telling me, I just am not putting it into practice. 

I am going to start (again, again) doing my Body Groove videos. I have scheduled in my diary alternate Friday mornings to do it with a friend, and if she can't make that time, or the weeks where I'm busy, I will try and do at least half an hour at a different time in the week.  Yes, I know I should be aiming at 30min exercise per day, rather than per week, but I really am that busy.  The time I am at home, I am either tutoring other people's kids, HEing my own, doing housework (ish), or sleeping.  I do have some other bits of time, and am now endeavouring to use them more wisely.

And another friend has suggested I sign up for DiabeticsUK Swim 22 challenge: Swimming the width of the Channel (22miles) in 12 weeks, in your local pool.  I have said I would like to join her doing it, but I'd do the smaller 11mile challenge, as even that will be hard for me.  Once upon a time, I used to be a good swimmer and was in a swimming club.  Now, however, I don't have the stamina, and I would have to do a mile/week in the pool just for the smaller challenge.  If I can't find the time to do 30min BodyGroove each week, it will be more of a challenge to find 1.5hr+ to go swimming (once you've taken account of travelling to/from the pool and changing), not to mention, finding someone to watch DD2 if it's on a weekday. That said, I do enjoy swimming, and I would like to do this.  I probably would have to buy myself some prescription goggles, if I can get up to the speeds I used to swim at, but initially swimming in my glasses should be fine.  (I have an old pair that I use for swimming.)

So yes, I've woken up today and I feel motivated.  I know I need to change my body, and choosing the ridiculous time of 'leading up to Christmas', at least means this is on my own terms, and I don't have the added peer pressure of New Year's Resolutions or whatever.  (I don't know if you've noticed, but when under pressure, especially of the peer variety, my natural inclination is to rebel.  When talking about dieting, this means self-sabotage.)

The Queen's Corgi Film

Today, as part of the Into Film Festival DD2 and I went to watch The Queen's Corgi.

It was our second doggie film in two says, and we hoped it wasn't as emotional as yesterday's. 
We needn't have worried.

***Spoilers in this paragraph***
On a superficial level, this film is enjoyable.  It's an animation about the Queen's top dog, who gets tricked by his jealous "best friend" into leaving the palace.  He ends up in the pound, where he meets some other dogs who become his true friends and help him get back into the palace.  They arrive back in time to stop the coronation of ex-best friend, and it all works out in the end.
***End of Spoilers*** (that matter)

This film is terrifying.  Yes, most of the terror will go over the heads of kids (my daughter said she enjoyed the film), but it still normalises dysfunction.  Since I've got home I had a quick google to see if other people saw what I saw, and whilst I'm pleased I'm not the only one (see links below), it's scary how much I didn't notice (eg Trump saying "grab some puppy"!!!).

The worst scene for me was the one between Rex (the Queen's corgi) and Mitzi (President Trump's [fictitious] corgi).  The Queen and Trump, having decided that their dogs should marry, leave the dogs alone to get acquainted. Rex, however, isn't interested.  The scene that unfolds for what felt like hours, was the 'fun' of Mitzi chasing Rex, trying to kiss him (and more), ignoring his pleas, ignoring him saying "No", basically saying that you can ignore the consent of the other person.  In this #MeToo era, this is a horrendous thing to be teaching our children.  We would never allow children to watch such a scene if it was being acted by humans, but cartoon dogs - it's fine.  Not only that, it totally minimises the fact that men can be harassed, abused and raped too.  It is no more 'fun' because the perpetrator was a woman, than if it were a man.

(And yes, things happen in cartoons that we wouldn't watch in real life - eg the road runner and an anvil - but the whole premise and style of that cartoon to the anthropomorphism in The Queen's Corgi is different.)

The violence of the fight club didn't bother me tbh (maybe my sensitivities are misplaced? Having read other reviews, I can see that other peple didn't like the reference - I just think they'd go over kids' heads) though I didn't like the fact the dog was put in the washing machine for training.  It is not uncommon for there to be news reports of dogs and cats to be put in washing machines (I won't give links because it's horrible).

Finally, ignoring that Buckingham Palace doesn't have any working fire alarms or smoke detectors (a fire of that size should have been detected), at the very end of the film Charlie (ex-best friend dog) is forced to marry Mitzi, and everyone is happy that the systematic rape and abuse is not happening to Rex. The End.

Independent's Review 1/5
Movies4Kids Review 2/5
Guardian's Review 2/5
Flickering Myth's Review 1/5
JumpCut Online's Review 0/5

After watching the film, and reading the views of others, I had to go back to Into Film to see why they included it within this year's festival. They say this film has the themes of Animation [yes] and Anti-Bullying [yes, now I think back to it, there is a scene in the pound when Rex stands up to a bully, but it is by far and away not my main memory of this film].  I think it is quite telling that on the Into Film site, there are currently 4 reviews, all by children.  Unfortunately, I can't seem to work out how to add my review to the site, without setting up a Film Club (which I don't want to do).

Weekly Update No45

Another week I haven't weighed myself, and another week I'm late doing this post.  I think because I haven't been weighing myself I haven't got as much to say - which may be a good thing? I am trying to be more conscious about what I'm eating, and looking for more nutrient rich foods, as well as cooking at home a bit more than I have been.

Anyway, this week (and last week, and next week) we have been participating in Into Film's Film Festival which has free films for schools and home educated children, which has meant we're out of the house at 9am each day.  Yesterday we saw A Dog's Way Home which was an emotional roller-coaster, but all worked out in the end.  It was a good film, but take a pack of tissues with you as it has some sad moments (and when you think you're past the sad bit, there's another one, and another one...).  It may not be for more sensitive kids, but is a lovely film overall.

Today we saw The Queen's Corgi, which deserves a blog post of its own.

Sei Thrillers by Ty Hutchinson

Last September I reviewed book 1 of this series.  Books 2 and 3 continue the story of Sei and her attempts to be reunited with her child.

The blurb says:

Sei learns about an individual involved in the abduction of her daughter—a man so vile, so foul in every way, that the mere thought of him turns Sei’s stomach. Has her daughter fallen victim to him?

To make matters worse, Sei must do the unthinkable when she finds this sicko. She must befriend him.

Again, this is well written by Hutchinson, keeps your attention and I read the books very quickly as I didn't want to put them down. Sei gets within a hair's width of her daughter, and has to use all her skill and ability to keep tracking her.

The tension continues, and while I was disappointed that Sei hadn't found Mui at the end of book 3, it does mean that there are two more books to enjoy in this saga.

A Life of Balance by K P Yohannan

The book description says:

Remember learning how to ride a bike? The hardest part was learning how to stay balanced. Once you mastered that, you were ready to go anywhere.

The same is true of life, especially for those of us who sincerely seek to follow Jesus Christ. All truth has two sides, and balanced attention to both sides of the coin is necessary to rightly divide the Word of Truth. Otherwise, our passion for the Lord can quickly turn into fanaticism and our ministry will eventually fade away.

In this short booklet, K.P. Yohannan discusses Biblical balance in 11 key areas of life, such as

*Discipline and Freedom
*Faith and Common Sense
*Love and Doctrine
*Zeal and Wisdom

Learn how to develop the balance which will keep your life and ministry healthy and honoring God.

This is a good little book, only 78 pages, full of wisdom.  I read a chapter at a time, and each helps point you back to Christ and get balance in your lives.

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

I bought this book because my 12yo had homework to draw a scene from one of the poems in this book, but had come home without the text!

So I bought the book.

My initial impression was that it's not really suitable for Yr7s (11 & 12yos).  DD1 does know all about sex etc - we're upfront about answering any questions either girl may have - but I still felt she's a bit young for this book.  That said, as I continued reading I felt better about the book.

The blurb says:

Xiomara has always kept her words to herself. When it comes to standing her ground in her Harlem neighbourhood, she lets her fists and her fierceness do the talking.

But X has secrets – her feelings for a boy in her bio class, and the notebook full of poems that she keeps under her bed. And a slam poetry club that will pull those secrets into the spotlight.

Because in spite of a world that might not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to stay silent.

A novel about finding your voice and standing up for what you believe in, no matter how hard it is to say. Brave, bold and beautifully written - dealing with issues of race, feminism and faith.

The book is raw and blunt.  It is written through the eyes of teenager Xiomara as she learns how to be true to herself.  She questions her faith and her family, and is full of mixed emotions about school, boys and every day life.

I read the book in 2 days, and yes, I will allow my daughter to read it should she want to.  It is thought-provoking and gets to the core of what it feels like to be a teenage girl, misunderstood by those around you, battling desires and rules as you go through adolescence and try to make it in life.

Adam's Journey by Alex Albrinck

Last year I read and reviewed books 1-7 of The Aliomenti Saga.  It's a great series that I loved all the twists and turns, bringing SciFi, time travel, and fantasy together with an innocent man who is told he's the saviour with an egotistical maniac who wants him dead.  Go on, read it.  The series is great.

Anyway, I held off reading the eighth instalment, Adam's Journey, because I didn't want to ruin the series as some sequels who go back to a story line don't quite hit the mark... Boy, was I wrong!

As soon as the book started, I was swept away into the world of nanotechnology and magic, immediately remembering everything that had happened previously and watching wide-eyed as I saw the same stories from another perspective, getting better whilst simultaneously being more complex.

The blurb says:

The greatest journeys in life are often those taken in silence, with no one else watching. They are the journeys of self-discovery, when one learns one's true history and destiny. They are the times when self-discipline must trump the massive desire to act in a manner that offers a short term benefit... but a long term disaster.

Adam long knew he faced such a journey, one he'd face completely alone. He didn't know how he'd ever begin; fate seemed stacked against him. And yet he knew the stakes, knew that his failure -- or his discovery -- could doom him and those he loves most.

And then... fate smiled on him. For just a few brief moments, the window opened, and he commenced that journey.

He--and the world--would never be the same.

Despite me saying the plot is intricate, it is actually an easy read.  The story is well written so you always understand as much as you need to know at that time, without it becoming too complicated or difficult to follow.  Though some things you don't fully understand until later in the books, there are no plot holes, and everything comes neatly to an end, without it becoming twee.

I have some more books written by Albrinck that I can't wait to read.

Weekly Update No44

I'm still not weighing myself. I feel like I'm slowly losing all the 2B Mindset principles, which is a shame as in theory, it should work.  Whether it's will-power or I simply don't care enough, I don't know, but it should work.

Anyway, whatever the reasons, I've stopped weighing myself.  It does mean (obviously) I have no idea how much I weigh, whether I'm losing weight or gaining it.  I have also stopped writing 3 things I'm grateful for each day, but that's a bad thing, so I'm consciously going to start doing that again (as soon as I've finished this post!). Part of the problem has been that I usually write it before bed, but I've been so busy recently and so tired that as soon as I go upstairs I fall asleep.

This half term I have been driving up and back to Malvern almost every day for yet another dance festival.  My girls did well, though, and came back with 2 medals each: 1 gold, 1 bronze and 2 fourth place medals. 

So, now I'm back home, and DD1 is back in school, I'm trying to get back into the routine of things with DD2. I am currently waiting for a Tesco order to be delivered, so I can make some tasty soups and other meals.  We're watching David Attenborough's Life on Netflix over a late breakfast, and are planning to do some chemistry and algebra today.

Kappa Quartet by Daryl Qilin Yam

My husband recommended this book to me.  He said it was weird, he wasn't sure of the ending, and that he thought I would like it. So after much nagging (partially because I was in the middle of a series or two) I went to read this book.

This book is a bit weird.  It's totally different to what I was expecting, and being set in Japan with Japanese cultural references, I read the first chapter or so, not really understanding what was going on, but wanting to.

The blurb says:

What does it mean to be in possession of something nobody has seen before? Kevin is a young man without a soul, holidaying in Tokyo; Mr Five, the enigmatic kappa, is the man he happens to meet. Little does Kevin know that kappas - the river demons of Japanese folklore - desire nothing more than the souls of other humans. Set between Singapore and Japan, Kappa Quartet is split into eight discrete sections, tracing the rippling effects of this chance encounter across a host of other characters, connected and bound to one another in ways both strange and serendipitous.

But not having read the blurb, as I was just reading it on my Kindle, I didn't realise any of this.  So, after the start of the book, I finally did a bit of research into Kappas, and that did help.  I don't know the veracity of the Wiki page on Kappas, but it certainly was enough to make me understand more what was going on, as well as making links that I hadn't noticed (eg one of the characters is called Kawatora).

The book is very well written, and it holds your interest.  The chapters are separate from each other, and it's only in the latter half of the book, that there is some cross-over, so in addition to the different cultural references, the book does seem to jump about a bit, sometimes in a dream-like way.

That said, it is very strange.  I tend to like books which either have a happy ending, or all the threads get tied up at the end.  That doesn't happen here, with the ending neither being particularly happy (though it's what the protagonist wants) and it being sudden, so there are many unanswered questions.  When I went back to my husband to ask him why he thought I would like it, he admitted that he didn't think I would, but wanted me to read it so I could explain it to him!

Overall, I think I enjoyed the book, but I don't know.  I don't feel like I have wasted my time reading it (so is not a bad book), and it will stick with me because of its strangeness.

Parenting by Paul David Tripp

What is your calling as a parent?

In the midst of folding laundry, coordinating carpool schedules, and breaking up fights, many parents get lost. Feeling pressure to do everything "right" and raise up "good" children, it's easy to lose sight of our ultimate purpose as parents in the quest for practical tips and guaranteed formulas.

In this life-giving book, Paul Tripp offers parents much more than a to-do list. Instead, he presents us with a big-picture view of God's plan for us as parents. Outlining fourteen foundational principles centered on the gospel, he shows that we need more than the latest parenting strategy or list of techniques. Rather, we need the rescuing grace of God--grace that has the power to shape how we view everything we do as parents.

Freed from the burden of trying to manufacture life-change in our children's hearts, we can embrace a grand perspective of parenting overflowing with vision, purpose, and joy.

I bought this book at the Bath Women's Conference last year.  It has taken me over a year to get around to reading it, and in all honestly I wish I had read it earlier.  In fact, I wish this book had been written when my children were younger, so that I could reread it as necessary as they have been growing up.

The subtitle of this book is "14 Gospel Principles that can Radically Change your Family", and there are 14 chapters which go through these ideas in greater depth: Calling, Grace, Law, Inability, Identity, Process, Lost, Authority, Foolishness, Character, False Gods, Control, Rest and Mercy.  In each chapter, we are reminded of the things that we require from God, so that we can respond appropriately to our children.  God knows I need His help!

This is a really practical book, with down-to-earth descriptions of 'normal' parenting, not least as Tripp recounts times when he could/should have done better; so it's certainly not being lectured by a know-it-all.

The other thing I liked about this book, is that it fits with my general parenting philosophy - that we should encourage our children, facilitate their learning and growing, but allow them the freedom to own their own journey.

This book has challenged me greatly, shown me where I can improve, and encouraged me to rely further on God and his Grace, as I try and extend the same to my own children.

Weekly Update No43

I haven't been weighing myself this week. 

I would guess that I've put on weight.  I have not been eating great, not helped by travelling lots for a dance festival (3rd in Junior Modern Groups, and 4th in Junior Modern Trios) so having easy to eat foods (like sausage rolls, crisps, etc) next to me to eat whilst I'm driving.

I am, however, generally feeling better about myself.

I've also stopped writing 3 things I'm thankful for, and 1 thing I value about myself.  I should restart that, because I do find it helpful, and it definitely helps my mood and self-worth.  But I am feeling good about myself. 

What I need to start doing, is translating this increase in self-worth into self-care; specifically physically.  Writing gratitude is self-care emotionally, but I also want to get to a stage where I purposely eat the right things and move my body more, not as a chore, but because I deserve it.

I do live in the future (and almost always have done) and whilst I am slowly getting better at living in the moment, I still think "things will be better when...".  Right now, we're trying to get our kitchen done.  We've lived in this house 4.5 years, and though the kitchen isn't that bad, there's hardly any storage nor work-surface space.  So, the time was right to get our kitchen done up.  We've chosen a local family company, so are no waiting for them to book us in.    But, when the kitchen is done, then I'll be able to meal prep and have much better, healthier foods.  She says.  In theory.  We'll see.

Qualifications are a pile of shit

As you may know, my church group is currently going through the Discipleship Explored handbook that deep-dives into the book of Philippians. Philippians is a short letter (only 4 chapters) that Paul writes to the church in Philippi, whilst he was being imprisoned.  Last night was week 5, which looks at our righteousness in Christ.

As I know many of the people reading this blog are not Christian, indeed many are atheists, I don't want to get too bogged down in religious wording; but since these are words that are used in the Bible, I hope I can explain and define them adequately. According to Wiki, righteousness is defined as "the quality of being morally correct and justifiable." 

Many people think our righteousness comes from what we do (or don't do), specifically, that if we do the "right" things, then we can get closer to God.  Philippians 3, however, reminds us that there is nothing we can do to make ourselves righteous before God.  The only way in which we can become righteous has already occurred - through Jesus and faith in Him.  Indeed, Paul was considered the most "good" or "religious" person of his day, being born the right type of person, learning the scriptures, keeping all the laws etc, yet in Philippians 3:8 he calls all those qualifications a pile of shit. Yes, you may be surprised at my choice of that word when discussing the Bible, but Paul does indeed call it all excrement.  The Lexham English Bible uses the word "dung", The Voice uses "a pile of waste", and whilst most English versions do use the sanitised "garbage" or "rubbish", the Wycliffe Bible uses "drit [and I deem as turds]".

In fact, if our Righteousness is to be found in Jesus, and Jesus is sat at the Right hand of God, then our Righteousness is always before Him. Interesting!

One particular thing about the video that struck me, was when the presenter was asking questions about whether certain things made us feel closer or further to God.  Most of the questions, I could easily answer 'no' to; however there was one that I replied 'yes': If you are asked if you're a Christian, do you reply "Yes, but not a good one"? That is wrong, because Christ is our righteousness.

I do answer that I'm not a good Christian, because I know my sin and I know where I'm trying to be.  It's not that I think doing things will make me closer to God - God is love and desires relationship with us - but I'm also aware that "No one is good except God alone." (Mark 10:18)  The reason why this challenged me particularly is because of the work I've been doing with my therapist on my self-worth.  Have I used this verse as another rod to beat myself with?  Nobody can be good, I know I'm not good, therefore I must be bad, and a bad Christian.  I wouldn't want to venture too far the other way, but if my identity is in Christ and He is my righteousness, then I can be bold and simply answer "Yes, I am a Christian".  I am still a sinner, I sin and regularly need God's forgiveness, but Jesus has covered up my sin so that I can approach God boldly and surrender my heart to Him.

As an aside, though still related, when I saw my therapist yesterday, she asked how something made me feel, and I responded "that I'm not all bad".  To me, this is a positive expression because I'm not all bad.  It acknowledges the bad parts, but shows that I have made progress.  Yet, to my therapist, she replied that my response made her sad, because it shows a focus on the bad, rather than stating that I'm a good person, but am human so will make mistakes.  It made me think.  I am in a better place than I was, and am continually working on my self worth, but clearly I have some way to go.  At least I can rest in being a child of God.