From Daughter to Woman by Kim McCabe

From Daughter to Woman was recommended to me by a friend because I have two daughters swiftly approaching their teenage years.

The blurb says:

The teen years are tough - for teens and for parents. Many parents dread the moodiness, dishonesty, preference of friends over family, exam stress, and the push for greater independence. Mothers have a pivotal role to play; this is a guidebook for parents and mothers of girls in particular as they navigate the rocky teenage landscape with their daughters aged 8 to 18. It aims to help them embrace the potential of their child's teenage years by marking this time of growing maturity for girls and celebrating it with them. We celebrate birth, marriage and death, but this important life-transition from child to young adult is nowadays rarely acknowledged within an appropriate community.

With mental health issues in young people on the rise, and social media, reality television and smartphone culture serving to exacerbate these problems, it is no surprise that parents are looking for help in raising their daughters through these tricky years. From Daughter to Woman is the indispensable guide to doing just that.

Having just finished this book, it was really good and it has made me think about ways to connect and reconnect with my daughters.  There is a lot in there about growing up, puberty, starting periods etc and it suggests having a coming-of-age ceremony for your daughter(s), whether that me something simple between the two of you, or a large party with everyone you know. 

I would recommend reading this when your daughters are younger (by the age of 8) so you can prepare things in your own mind.  For example, my elder daughter is 11yo and has already started her periods so all that side of thing was too late for her.  Yet, there are things I can take from the book, and the idea of a coming-of-age thing, especially as she has made the adult decision of taking control of her own education and going to school, is something I am considering and seeing what I can do over the summer, before she starts school in September.

The other striking idea from the book, is about having a collection of women to support a girl growing up (it takes a village to raise a child).  Within the book she discusses group meetings (not that we'd have time with all the dancing my kids do), but the suggestions of having some older women whom my daughters could trust and be able to confide in (especially when they have a phase where they don't want to talk to me) is a good one.  Not having brought my girls up like that, I don't know how to approach the topic with them, nor deciding who would be good to take on those roles.  But again, it is something I am now thinking about and considering.  So even if your daughters are older than mine, if they are still in the teenage years, it would be worth reading this book.