Weekly Update No22

My weight has gone up again. 

Not a total surprise, given the crap I shovelled away last week.  Not least because I was trying to control my lingering cough (which is now finally getting better!) at the girls' dance festival so drank a bottle of cough syrup last week, and when watching the dances I continually sucked on cough sweets to try and stop coughing.  It did work, but I was very aware about the huge quantities of sugar that I was consuming.  Oh, and of course, there were the sweets I had in the car to keep me awake when driving, and the sugar in the energy drinks (I'm not used to waking at 5:30am these days) and the sugar in the can of latte I was drinking.

So yes, my weight has increased.  But at least I have started exercising again! I have done 2 days so far! (I haven't done today's session yet, as I've been really busy, but hopefully will get to it soon.)  I do feel better for moving my body again, my mind seems clearer already, and I'm starting to think that I wish there was a class around here again (and should I start saving to do the training next time it comes to the UK?).  I'm not sure I have the confidence to do something like that, not least because

my body shape doesn't exactly scream "healthy" or let alone "trainer"!

Anyway, I've had a small smoothie for lunch today, and after I've made the girls' lunch, I hope I can squeeze in 30min of Body Groove before the person I'm tutoring arrives.

Body Groove 30 Day Challenge

Today is the first day of the Body Groove 30 Day Challenge. If you go to the website, you can access the Challenge for free (though I think it requires a credit card; and you will be charged if you don't cancel at the end of the trial).  Misty Tripoli describes the challenge as:

This isn’t just a workout, it’s so much more! In addition to the Grooves, we’ll be doing segments from the Discover Your Groove workshop, meditations, journaling etc. We’ll be challenging and nurturing the WHOLE SELF... body, mind, heart and soul!

What I particularly like about the Body Groove videos, is that they really are for all people.  There are people of all shapes and sizes doing the workout in the video, and they are easily adapted to your own personal requirements, so can easily be as high or low tempo as you want, or if you cannot stand for long, or at all, they can be done when seated too.

I have just done the first day's workout, and am now sitting on the sofa, typing this in a sweaty mess, but am very glad that I have started as I mean to go on.  For those attempting the challenge, there is a Facebook group specifically set up so we can encourage one another.  I was a bit apprehensive that I would be the only person who started streaming the videos in January, and didn't get to February before life got in the way; but there is a friendly bunch there, and others are in the same situation as me.  So, I'm doubly glad that this challenge has forced me to get off my arse and actually do some exercise.  I had forgotten how fun it was.

Day 1 done! Day 2 tomorrow.

Feeling like shit

Bit of a frank post this one.  I've been feeling like shit recently.  A combination of lots of things, including the fact that I ran out of antidepressants on Monday.  I ordered more last week, and thought I had a week's grace, but obviously not. As it takes 4 working days for repeats to be fulfilled, I was only able to collect more on Thursday.

My weight is also increasing.  As I'm an emotional eater, my response to this is to shovel more crap into my pie-hole.  Part of me is curious whether I can actually make it to 100kg?  Anther part of me wonders how high I can make my weight? And the sensible part of me tells me that's a crap idea, I need to lose weight as it is (because I need to have surgery in a couple of years, not just general health reasons), and I'm stupid for even thinking otherwise.

I'm meant to be a 2B Mentor, but I can't even sort out my own head.  I wanted to do the Body Groove Facilitator Training at the end of this month, but thankfully saved my money, as I'm not even managing to do 10min dancing a day, let alone claim to be able to get others dancing.  It is something I would like to do one day, maybe they're next offering it in the UK, but my head isn't there yet.

I watched Isn't it Romantic? last night: "After hitting her head, an architect who hates romantic comedies wakes up to find her unremarkable life has become a dazzling, cliché-driven rom-com".  It was really enjoyable, but made me realise that I don't love myself.  I don't even like myself half the time.  I'm amazed I have friends at all, as I can be so clingy and melancholy at times << I'm hoping that's the depression talking, though it feels very real.

One good thing to come from this slump, is that I haven't got angry!  I always thought, and it seemed to be in the past, that if I came off my ADs, then my temper would run riot.  Actually, it hasn't been the case at all.  I haven't argued with DD1 once this week.  All my anger has turned inwards on myself, which is probably what you'd expect with standard depression.  I did think about going to the chemist/doctors to try and get my medication early since I had run out, but I couldn't convince myself that I was worth it.

I have lost weight before, and I know I can do it again.  But I also know that my head has to be in the right place.  Previously, my weightloss was kickstarted because I had HG when pregnant, causing me to lose 3 stone in the first trimester.  After that pregnancy, I lost a bit more weight, before becoming pregnant again, and managed to lose even more, so I was comfortably down to 64kilos.  That is where I would like to go again.  The 'diet' I used (inverted commas, because it was a lifestyle change) was based on the book Fat Burner Foods by Dr Caroline Schreeve.  It was low carb, high fruit and veg, and high amount of liquids/soup throughout the day too. It showed me that I really don't have to eat very much at all, to stay full and satisfied.  I seem to have lost that along the way.

A few years ago, I was making smoothies daily for breakfast or lunch, and though I didn't lose much weight, I felt much healthier and better in myself, as well as being fitter (I was exercising more then too).  Right now, I have tried to pre-prepare salads and vegetables, I have bought fruit with the honest intention of eating them, but I am wasting lots of food.  Not in the worst way, as I do compost, so it's not just going straight to landfill, but still a waste of food and money.

So what am I doing about it?
Spending even more money of course...

The Core is a raw food and juice bar that also offers programmes. Right now, I don't seem to have the mental function for making food for lunch or dinner (I'm not sleeping well, so am not even waking up for breakfast!), so having everything ready made will be good for me.  I'll be doing the standard 'Juice Programme' and have not yet decided whether I am going to stick to liquids alone, or whether I will need some food alongside, but we'll see how we do.

Now I have started taking my medication again, I hope that this increase in nutrition will kick-start my body into behaving and give me more energy, and help me make the needed steps in the right direction.

Edited to add: I wrote this yesterday and took an AD when I received them in the afternoon.  In the evening, my husband commented how much happier I'd seemed.  It's kinda scary (but good!) how fast/much they affect me.
Last night I even slept well, not waking up until this morning!

Weekly update No3

I lost a kilo!  I said last week, I wanted to lose a kilogram, and I have. Phew!


It hasn't been easy. I haven't managed to up my vegetable intake as much as I wanted, and my weight went up significantly after a night of liquid carbs... ahem!  Not helped by my feeling ill the next day, and only being able to stomach bread, ahem ahem...


I also have not managed to fit in any Body Groove.  On the rare days when I know in advance that I have time (like this morning), something always seems to get in the way.  For example, this past week, my husband is really suffering with back pain.  He's maxed out the painkillers, but keeps waking up in pain.  This in turn wakes me up, causing me to then oversleep.  Which I did, and only woke up just before lunchtime.

I need to reset my body clock. The best way to do that, for me, is to go camping - going to bed in the dark and waking up at dawn is brilliant.  But it's winter, so I don't want to be outside in zero degree weather.  Instead, I'm inside in the warm, with artificial lights on most of the day and night.

Moving on to next week, I would like to lose at least 0.5kg.  Being realistic that I'm not eating or exercising well atm, but still giving myself an achievable goal.
Positive thinking means positive weightloss.

Weekly Update No2

This week, I am exactly the same weight as I was this point last week.  I'm counting that as a positive, considering I haven't done any Body Groove this week, nor have I eaten the best.

Back to being busy, means it is harder to get time at home to exercise.  Today, both my girls are ill, so I will be able to fit it in today, as I've had to cancel all their HE groups and my tutoring.  Neither girl is eating very much atm, they both have a bit of a fever, feeling sick and are very lethargic.  I should have known something was wrong on Saturday, when my elder daughter came home from her theatre class and fell asleep on the sofa!

I still am not back in the habit of using my slow cooker.  It doesn't help that since Christmas, I've had loads of food piled on top/next to it (like crackers for cheese, etc) that don't fit in our cupboards.  We don't have much cupboard space at the best of time, so when we have extra food around, everything just overflows everywhere.  I would like to get the kitchen redone, but I don't see the point if there's not going to be any more cupboard space, as the area to work in is so small. My husband mentioned yesterday about the possibility of having the whole downstairs redone, to have an open plan kitchen/livingroom area.  Apart from the money issue (ie we have none), I'm not against that idea, but it seems quite daunting, and I'd have to study lots of plans before we agreed to anything - and I'm not sure how many people would b willing to draw up plans in the detail I'd like to see for free, before we commit to anything.  It's not helped by a friend having renovation work, only for her builders to try and charge nearly double the agreed quote, and then walking out leaving it unfinished.


 Back to my weightloss plan, though.  This week, I would like to try and lose 1kg.  I am drinking plenty of water, but I do need to up my veg intake again, as it's too easy when tired, to reheat frozen beige food.  Looking over this blog, I found this post where I said I would do some stretches every day.  Well, that fell by the wayside... but if I can't
fit in 30min of body groove, then doing a few dynamic stretches in the morning will help tone my body a little - at the very least, it's better than doing nothing.

Back in the swing of things

Term-time is up and running, and we're back running around after the girls and all their dances and activities.  I am trying to make the most of the time I have, so am currently being good and am sat in the dance studios with my laptop writing this post!

My tutoring has started up again after the Christmas break, as has all the girls' home education groups, leaving me little time at home for everything I need to do, including exercise.  It's now Wednesday, and I for the third day in a row I have no managed to BodyGroove, as I have not had 30min spare.  Technically, that is a slight lie, because I could have tried to wake up earlier, or stay up later, in order to fit it in, but I am someone who needs a lot of sleep. But, I'm not giving up on it.  I do enjoy it, I have noticed it working my muscles and I am losing weight.  I just need to squeeze a bit more out of my day.

I am eating well at the moment though.  The 2B Mindset is firmly implanted in my brain.  I am easily drinking my 90oz of water daily, and for the past 3 days I have had "mix and match" salad for lunch, from the prep I did at the weekend.  I have discovered I didn't prep enough, as I ate the last of the cut cucumber and pepper today, and ate the last of the hummus. I still have portions of vegetables that I can use for the remainder of the week, and some couscous left, but when I meal plan this weekend coming, I will need to prep even more food.

So far, I have managed to keep on top of the Bible readings - I'm aiming for 50 chapters a week.  We had our first meet on Tuesday, and we discussed the verses that spoke to us, and spent some time praying for each other.  Even though we're going at a much faster rate than I anticipated, I think I will get a lot out of the next 6 months.  I had planned to use my study Bible for the readthrough, but I find that I do most of the reading when I am taking my younger daughter to bed (we need to stay with her until she is asleep).  So, I'm reading the Bible on  my phone, highlighting the verses there, and then going through my actual Bible to copy up my highlights.  Only on the second week of the year, but it's working so far.

I'm also reading less than I would usually, as a combination of not having to wait for my children all the time (some days I leave them at dancing or gymnastics whilst I do other things), or because I'm using waiting time to do something else, like writing right now!  I do have 3 books on the go, though: 1 Christian inspirational, 1 non-fiction, and 1 fiction, so I haven't stopped reading altogether - perish the thought! - just getting through books a bit slower than usual.  That said, I am starting to really get into the fiction book I'm reading, so I may end up giving up a few hours sleep for that.

Note to self:
If I can give up sleep for reading, I can give up sleep for exercise. 
I am important and I am worth it!

Weekly Update No1 (I hope!)

Ok, so I'm crap at tracking.  I do track my weight daily, as I like to use the scales as a tool, and learn from decisions I have made yesterday to hopefully influence my new day and the new decisions I have to make.  Tracking what food I eat, how much water I drink, and what exercise I'm doing is much more difficult for me.  Whether it be that I'm too busy, I forget, I can't be bothered, or all three, sharing the minutiae isn't a habit I have yet.  Maybe it's because I'm an introvert so think nobody is actually that interested or cares much about it; or maybe because my subconscious thinks I'm setting myself up for a fall?  Whatever the reason, it is difficult for me.  So instead, I will try to do a weekly update.  It won't include all the details but will look for the positives, and be honest about the learning opportunities.

So, at the end of week 1, I have done some Body Groove everyday! (barring the 1st)  Most days have been between 20-30 minutes, and it really is good fun.  There's a surprising amount of ab-work that goes into dancing, and my muscles have really been feeling it when I wake up in the mornings.

I have been drinking plenty of water, and regularly hitting my 90 fl oz (3 bottles) goal.

My food has been up and down.  I have been making some good choices: I have made egg fried cauli rice a few times, I have chosen to eat a salad for lunch or when in a pub I chose to eat a starter with a side salad.  Eating well at home seems to depend on how busy/lazy/stressed I am, as those are the times when I'm more likely to cook something that just requires to be shoved in an oven, or to order in.  I need to pre-prepare food for the week, when I have more time on the weekends, so I can throw together something healthy quickly, without too much thought. Some points to learn from, include listening to when my body is full (at the Murder Mystery party I went to, I ate a curry with a whole naan, and then still found some space for birthday cake) and yesterday, after the meal in the pub we returned home with two Cakeaways.  If you haven't experience a Cakeaway, it is not as simple as a cake that you eat at home.  Rather than a 'normal' sized slice of cake, these slices are a good 8 inches tall, and 3-4 inches wide at the back.  When we returned home, we shared some of the cakes between the four of us, my husband took the girls to bed, and I mindlessly ate until I realised what I was doing... On the positive side, I did stop eating, before I ate it all and put them in the fridge and today when the others were eating the cakes, I didn't have any because I knew I had my share yesterday. Think positive!

As far as weight, I had put some on over Christmas, as I expected I would, and this week I have lost 1 kilo.

Happy New Year!

The Christmas season has passed by very quickly! 

We had a quiet Christmas day at home with just the four of us.  It was really relaxed, good company and good food.  The week after Christmas we visited my family in one part of the country and my husband's family in another.  Then we spent New Year's evening at a friend's house playing games whilst our children played together elsewhere.  And now we're back to reality with a bump. (Not literal - I am certainly not pregnant, now missing several vital parts! lol)

I enjoy getting a calendar every year from the girls for Christmas, and like to spend my NY day copying across new information and schedules.  This seems to be the worst year yet, as after this week, EVERY week is packed.  And my husband has finally badgered me enough to use a shared calendar on our phones, so I've put everything there too - only for him to say there's too much going on and he doesn't know when he needs to be where.  Men!

After chatting with the girls about any resolutions they may have, we have all decided to work together and help each other to achieve them.  My daughters' resolutions are to do with self-care (eg actually brushing their hair daily) and keeping their rooms tidy.

We don't have any pets.  I am allergic to cats and dogs, and other animals, but have said I would consider getting a dog, if... Now, I'm not stupid enough to say "if you look after it" because I'm the adult and I know my children won't immediately be able to switch on that responsibility.  It would be unfair on the dog for it to arrive and for me to not pick up the slack.  So, I went with something else. ...you can prove you're responsible enough to have a pet by keeping your bedrooms tidy for 6 months in a row.  Not perfect.  Not "showhome".  But reasonably tidy and having a clear floor at the end of the day.  My children's bedrooms are not massive, especially given the number of toys they own, but they do have a playroom where all their junk toys can be thrown stored, and I haven't said that room has to be tidy.  Thankfully for me, it's at the top of the house, so I don't have to think about it!

As for me, my resolutions are to do with self-care too.  Namely, being positive in my mind, being positive about how I fuel my body, and being positive about moving my body more.  I am changing my mindset, so there is no such thing as "failure" or "bad days", but instead they are learning opportunities, from which I can grow, learn and do better next time.

2B Mindset has a sale going on some of its products.
And BodyGroove has a 30day challenge for you to join in and move your body!

Crazy Thoughts

So, since passing the 2B Mindset Mentor Certification last night, I've been having some crazy thoughts.

I would like to help other people, and preferably make money doing it.  However, I'm not sure I want to become a Beachbody Coach.  Whilst I would like to get commission for selling the 2B Mindset, from what I've read, in order to make money as a Beachbody Coach you have to sell a lot of products, not least because you have to pay to be able to call yourself a Beachbody Coach.  Doing the 2B Mindset, I like the fact that anyone can do it, and you don't need any specific equipment (except purchasing the videos in the first instance, and a set of scales to monitor your progress) nor any supplements.  One such supplement is Shakeology, and I know people who absolutely love it, so have no qualms promoting and selling it.  That's not me, however.  If people want to have shakes every day and it suits your lifestyle, great.  But, I don't want to feel that I have to flog endless amounts of something I don't use (I prefer to make a green smoothie from scratch) in order to make a profit.  Not only that, in order to progress through the ranks, you need to recruit people to become coaches themselves, and again, that doesn't sit well with my personality.



As I'm now qualified, I can join the Master Team, which does cost a nominal amount, but I don't know what it involves?  If I can make money through it without being a Beachbody Coach, then it's probably worth it for me. However, if all the Tips, Support and Community are specifically for building up the 2B aspect of being a Beachbody Coach, then I don't think I want it.


Now, this is where my thinking is starting to go a bit silly...


Another Health/Wellbeing/Fitness thing I really like is Body Groove and The World Groove Movement.  Personally, I love dancing.  I like how I feel when I've been dancing; whether that be in a Ceroc Class (which I love, but am not particularly good at), in a club/party or even just dancing
round my living room in my slipper-socks.  I've been following Misty Tripoli on Facebook for a few years now, and it's something that I think fits really well with the 2B Mindset of positivity towards our health and our bodies.

There is training coming to the UK in March!  I don't know if I'm going through a mid-life crisis atm (though of course, I'm not yet middle aged), or if I have more confidence after recently starting an Adult Musical Theatre class, or if I'm finally at the age where I don't give a fuck anymore and want to do what I want, but I'm really really really really tempted to sign up for it.  It's "only" $500, and as it's in London I'll have to pay for transport and a hotel for that weekend.  Ahem, I'm not made of money! And I haven't yet discussed it with my husband, either...

Again, it's one of those things that if I become qualified I'll have to pay annually to be able to use the Groove trademark etc, but is a similar cost to the 2B costs so not too bad.  I've done a basic cost outline, and if I can hire the dance studio my girls go to (which do hire them out for fitness classes) and charge £7 per hour session, for 42 weeks of the year (roughly term-time), then I only need 4 people to come each week to make a profit [excluding the initial training costs].  That also excludes insurance, which I haven't considered at all yet.  But 4 people a week, doesn't seem impossible.  And whilst I don't necessarily feel comfortable dancing in front of loads of people, in this situation everyone is in their own zone, rather than watching/copying each other, so I'd only have to shout out various instructions (and join in), rather than teaching a set routine with all eyes on me.

I think it's do-able, but I don't know if I'm crazy?