Weekly Update no40

I haven't lost any weight this week, but I haven't gained any either.  I was losing weight, then had a bit of a binge over the weekend, but that's ok.  I'm human.  I am feeling good in myself this morning.  I think it helped that I finally sorted out (put away) my Floordrobe in the bedroom.  Slowly but surely, we're getting in control of our house.

And DD1 has made a difficult, but mature, decision to stop some of her dance lessons so she can concentrate on her homework.  Having only started school a month ago, she has been coping amazingly with the change of routine: getting up very early, cycling to school in all weathers, a full day at school, compulsory enrichment after school, then coming home to do more dancing and singing, and managing to fit homework in between.  However, as the students are settled, the amount of homework is ramping up, and DD1 doesn't want to feel stressed and under time pressure.  So, Monday evenings are now easier for her. 

Difficult Questions

Last Wednesday I saw my therapist and we had a big discussion about intrinsic value and self-worth.  I can see value in other people.  Other people have value just by being who they are. When thinking about myself, however, I don't see things like that at all.  I often think I have no value, unless I am doing something for other people.  I know in my head that God loves me and He sees value in me, but I struggle to believe it.  And yet, who am I to argue or disbelieve the Almighty? So my therapist has challenged me to write something I like or value about myself each day.

Then, that evening, at my church's growth group, we are using Discipleship Explored and this week we were asked the question "what do you live for?" and more specifically, "what would your friends say you live for?".  My gut-feel when answering this question was My Girls, though ideally, I should be putting God first (and yes, that is hard for me to explain to somebody who doesn't believe in God). But, I was interested to see what my friends would say.  So, I decided to ask them.

Overall, I'm quite pleased with the response that I've had.  A few people did contact me to ask if I was ok and whether I'm feeling depressed atm, which was very kind of them to think of me and my well-being.  I am ok (I wouldn't be able to ask the questions if I wasn't), and it made me feel loved.
Other people did answer the questions, so was interesting to see their point of view.  I am hoping that people will continue to reply to me privately, as it is really interesting.

Nation's Favourite Hymn

There's an article on BBC News about the Nation's Favourite Hymn as chosen by Songs of Praise viewers.  I really like hymns and songs, the music and the words really relate to me. 

My favourite hymn of all time is an oldie and is number four in the list: Dear Lord and Father of Mankind.  Despite this being sung over and over in school assemblies when I was a kid, it's still my favourite.  Possibly because it's a nod to my Catholic background (ie guilt) for everything that I know I don't do right.  The first verse goes: "Dear Lord and Father of mankind, forgive our foolish ways! Re-clothe us in our rightful mind, in purer lives thy service find, in deeper reverence, praise; in deeper reverence, praise."  People are often foolish (especially if they think they are wise) especially me, and I like the rest of the lyrics in the other verses too.

Back to the list, I actually like all they hymns in that list, except one: Number One!
I really hate the song Jerusalem.  Like really.  There are not many songs that I can say I hate (the only other one that I can think of, is John Lennon's Imagine - Urgh!) but this is one of them.  

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon England's mountain green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
On England's pleasant pastures seen?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among those dark satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
I will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
Till we have built Jerusalem
In England's green and pleasant land.

The lyrics don't even make sense. Did Jesus come to England? No. Did he step on England's fields? Nope. Was Jerusalem built here? No-oh. The second verse is a bit better, but are we going to build Jerusalem in England? No.  Heaven on Earth - maybe.  I've heard it said that when Christians are at their best, that is a little of Heaven on Earth.  And of course there's the Belinda Carlisle song, which incidentally I really like, and is so much better than this hymn!

So yes, the point of this blog, was mainly for me to complain about Jerusalem.  And you're lucky I just briefly mentioned Imagine.  I could rant all day about that awful song!

Weekly Update No39

It's amazing how simply feeling better in my head, has an impact on my weight.

This week, I have been out for dinner and had dessert, I have eaten plenty of cakes and biscuits, I have snacked and not really thought about what I have been eating.  Yet, I have still lost over a kilo since last week.

What I have been doing differently, is in addition to writing 3 things I'm grateful for each day, on the advice of my therapist I have added an extra line: writing one thing I value or like about myself.  I'll write more about this in a different post, but this has been more challenging than looking for things I'm thankful for.  And I have only been doing it less than a week, and I already want to start repeating myself (which is an added challenge I've set myself, rather than someone else saying it for me).

I am slowly making some better choices - last night for dinner, I made a delicious salad, and remembered to 'water' down the salad dressing with vinegar so that it coats all the leaves easier and is fewer calories.  I have also made plans to Body Groove with a friend.  We can only do fortnightly, but once a fortnight is still better than doing nothing other than sitting on my arse all day.

Right now, even though I've just consumed two Oreos and a latte for breakfast, I'm feeling positive about the week ahead.

BoJo Acted Unlawfully!

An astonishing judgement by the Supreme Court in the UK has said that the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has acted unlawfully by proroguing parliament.

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

Unlawful means it is contrary to the law, whereas an ill eagle is a sick bird. Sorry!

I know, for myself, I have not watched parliament TV (not that it's necessarily called that), followed the news, or been as engrossed in politics as I have in recent year, and more specifically in recent weeks.  It really feels like there is something historical happening right now, and indeed it is a landmark ruling.  AFAIK the UK doesn't have a written constitution, but much of the law is based on case law and precedents from earlier cases.  (And I will stop there, because I am not a legal beagle nor do I have any real knowledge about politics.)

What is interesting about this case specifically, is that it is about democracy, and whether the PM is himself above the law?  Many people seem to think this is about Brexit, and though it is linked, whether you want Brexit to occur or not, it truly is about democracy and whether the government and parliament acts in our (the people's) best interests or not.

Giving judgement, Lady Hale said

"It is important to emphasise that the issue in these appeals is not when and on what terms the United Kingdom is to leave the European Union. The issue is whether the advice given by the Prime Minister to Her Majesty the Queen on 27th or 28th August 2019 that Parliament should be prorogued from a date between 9th and 12th September until 14th October was lawful."  

The full judgement can be read here: https://www.supremecourt.uk/cases/docs/uksc-2019-0192-judgment.pdf

The ruling itself was not a gentle slap-on-the-wrist.  Instead it was an unanimous judgement of all 11 judges ruling that the PM was wrong.  It's incredible to be watching this history occur.  Many politicians are now calling for both Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings to resign effective immediately - which if it did happen, BoJo would go down in history as the shortest serving UK PM ever.

Homemade Presents

I find they are always tricky.

Some people absolutely love them, knowing that a lot of thought and effort has gone into crafting something so personal.  Other people, however, whilst they appreciate the thought, would much rather have something that they know is made to a high(er) standard from a name they trust.  Some people understand that though the materials may be cheaper than buying ready-made, the time and effort (even if pricing yourself at minimum wage) means the final product is much more expensive than mass-produced goods.  Other people would still rather have something mass produced, with it's standard quality, than something which may have minute flaws/individuality.  Some people understand that buying the materials for hand-made items is often more expensive as you cannot get the benefits of bulk-buying raw materials, and that's before you consider labour costs.  Other people would rather you didn't waste your time making something they know they wouldn't appreciate, but simply buy something they know they want, and for less money too.

That said, for my cousin's wedding last weekend, I decided to make her and her new husband a present.  I hope they like it, as I was a bit in-the-dark about their tastes (except for Star Wars - which I know next to nothing about, as I was always more of a Star Trek girl).  But as it's a craft I enjoy, I went ahead with making something for them anyway.

Back in May, I visited the MosaiCraft Shop again, and ended up buying more than I meant to (a common occurrence these days...) but did purchase a kit to give my cousin for her wedding.  As the wedding was last weekend, I can finally talk about it and share the picture with you all!

It originally was of two swans facing each other to make a heart shape with their necks.  As this was for their wedding, I didn't want to just get something off-the-shelf, so personalised it with their names.  (The cynical part of me thinks that they can't just give it to charity now, as nobody else would want it! haha)  Not having the neatest handwriting in the world, I did use the internet to come up with a font I liked, and used that as a template for their names.  I created their names on the base plates first, and then went back to build up the swans afterwards.

I have to say, that I am pleased with the finished result.  I framed the picture, and gave it to them on Saturday, so I hope they like it. (Or at least pretend they do around me! 😉😂)

Charley and Adam, if you're reading this: Thanks for a great time at your wedding, and all the best for your future lives together. xxx

Weekly Update No38

We've had a week of birthday celebrations and a wedding, so it's no surprise my weight has gone up.
I finished the last of the birthday cake for breakfast, so at least I'm not tempted by that any more!
(Just to confirm, that pic is a slice through the whole cake, which we then divided up into 4 portions.  As much as I love cake, even I couldn't eat a slice that big!)

The cake was made by DD2 for DD1's birthday.  DD2 had the idea of a rainbow cake decorated with fondant icing with a dance theme.  I helped her with using the oven, and I covered the cake with the white fondant, but the bulk of the doing was by her, over 2 days (one day to bake and one day to decorate).  That we managed to keep it a surprised to DD1 is amazing.

That was last week.  Saturday we went to my cousin's wedding, and my head is not in the right place to be able to approach a buffet properly. We stayed overnight in a hotel, which meant yesterday I had buffet breakfast, and last night we had the girls' birthday meal with friends.  Though I only had a 'small plate carvery' and didn't have dessert, I know I overate.

But it's a new week, and I can do better.