Weekly Update

I have finally finished decorating my study!  Well, the big bits, anyway.  It is painted and has furniture, so though there are a few extra bits and pieces I'm waiting on, it is useable.  And I have been using it all morning, and it is fab!

I have been keeping up tracking my food and exercise. I'm still plowing through the chocolates that I was given for Christmas (I hope I have finished them now) so I've not been dieting as such, merely keeping a note of what I have been consuming.
I am not walking as much as I'd hope, either atm.  I really am quite busy during the day and when it's dark and dreary or wet I cba.  Hopefully the evenings will start to noticeably lighten soon, and that will change.

I have started (re)reading a new book - Diet Trap Solution by Beck and Beck.  I read it before a few years ago, and it's really good.  Very practical, so I need to actually find the time to do some of the exercises, rather than just reading them and moving on.

I have started doing some FutureLearn courses though.  These have been focussed on education, activism and my current course is all about propaganda and mythology.  I managed to do a few in a few days over the Christmas break, but now life is back to normal, I have set aside Monday afternoons to do a week's worth of study of one course (that's usually 2-6 hours, depending on the course).

I still have my book reviews to write, and I'm not reading at all enough compared to what I'd like.  The other half of my room now has a sofa bed in it, so I can hide away up here and read when I want.  The negative of my dog thinking I'm her mum is that she suffers with separation anxiety if she's away from me.  When I'm tutoring, I have her by my feet in this room (she's quieter that way) whereas right now, I have left her downstairs so I can try and build up her tolerance to me not being around ALL the time.  Working from home, I am around most the time, but I already have my own shadow, and I don't need another one, lol.

Weekly Update - End of Year

I hope you have all had a good Christmas, despite the difficulties of not seeing friends and family because of Covid.

I had a nice relaxing time with my family and new pup.  We opened presents, ate a late lunch, and relaxed altogether.

Since then, I've started decorating my new room.  As we finished DD1's room, she has now moved up into the attic, and my room has been emptied.  So, I've painted one wall today, and I hope to paint the other three walls tomorrow.  I can then start buying furniture for it.  The biggest thing to go in there is a sofa bed, which we already have, but it'll be moved upstairs and I've got a new cover to go on it, so it will match the rest of the room.

I do need to do my Self-Assessment for my tutoring work.  I've never left it this late before.  I said the same last year, when I finally did it in October.  I just hope that next year, I don't leave it another 3+ months after the date I complete it this year (since the deadline is 31st January!).

After the New Year, I'll start reading up on the Home Ed stuff again, and fighting both locally and nationally.  Having my own work room will help me stay organised.

I still have one book review to write up, and ideally, I'd like to finish 3 of the books that I am currently reading, and write up reviews of those.  I'll then go through the whole year to give a complete list of the 70+books I have read this year.  Next year, I think I will lower the number of books I plan to read to about 50.  Not to say that I don't think I could read that many again, but if I am getting involved in other things, perhaps studying more too, I simply won't have time to read as much as I have done recently.  I am not sitting in the dance studios any more (due to covid) and haven't even finished the MosaiCraft portrait I bought for myself to do over Lockdown1.  Again, this is because I'm not sat waiting much anymore.  On a Tuesday, when I am waiting for an hour and a half, it is dark at the moment, and I have the pup with me, so it wouldn't be wise to do anything as fiddly as MosaiCraft.

I would like to start focussing on getting healthy again in the new year.  I am very aware that I need to get on the waiting list to have my mastectomy before I'm 40 (so I have 18months), and to have the reconstruction I really do want, I need to lose weight.  I have discovered that surgeons differ by how much weight I'd have to lose, so to know for sure, I will need to actually meet with one.  My mental state has enjoyed not weighing myself every day recently, but my clothes are aware that my weight is creeping up, as I expected it would (not least because it always does when I'm not weighing myself).  I find myself wondering if I can incidentally lose weight by focussing on a different area of my health?  What if I simply record what I am eating and how much exercise I am doing?  If I can get past the shame of recording every bite, will just knowing that I will be writing it later, help me focus my thoughts on healthy foods and the impacts that it will have on my health?  Maybe, just maybe.  And when it gets warmer, I do want to take my pup jogging (she likes it when I run with her now, but it isn't as fun for me when I'm wrapped in a big coat, scarf and boots, lol).

So, that's my quick update and vague plans for next year.

I pray that you can enjoy this festive period, and that your 2021 is better than this year has been xxx

Weekly Update

 It's nearly CHRISTMAS!! Yey!

🎵Four more sleeps to go!
Four more sleeps to Santa!
Four more sleeps 'til the big fat fella comes down our chimney and drinks our beer.
Four more sleeps to Santa!🎶

So this week, we have bought and made DD1's new bed, emptied out her old room (I am yet to start painting), finished working for the year and travelled to a random services on the motorway in order to swap presents before parts of the country go into tier 4.

We're fortunate, in that our plans haven't changed too much as we were going to be home over Christmas itself anyway, but we're unable to see family before and after.  It is for the best, and though I think things could have been done by the government a lot sooner, it is definitely necessary.  

If I don't get the chance to say it, I hope you have the best Christmas you can this year, given the circumstances xx

Weekly Update

You may have noticed that I have not numbered this weekly update. 
I also have not weighed myself recently.  

This is not a weightloss update.

After spending some time thinking about things, I have decided that I am going to use these weekly updates as just that - a way to update you guys with what has been happening this week, and not use it as a stick to beat myself that I am not losing weight.  As such, it doesn't matter if this is weekly update no 1 or no 422.  The date is automatically attached to the blog post, and you can search it by month if you are so inclined.

This week, I have spend a lot of time painting DD1's bedroom. Of course, she didn't want just one colour on her walls, but two.  And she didn't want one colour on each wall, but two - in a diagonal (I can only be glad that she didn't want an actually fade between the two colours, lol). And I had to paint her ceiling, by myself, with a brush because we had run out of new roller thingies. And then, we had to replace her carpet with laminate, which took the whole of Sunday, but I am (and more importantly, DD1 is) pleased with the results.

We have just ordered her a new bed (which should arrive before Christmas!) and I'm starting to move her stuff upstairs today.  Once her current room is empty, I can then start painting that for my study - yey!  I'm sooooo looking forward to that.  Well, not the painting, but it does need to be done, but I'm looking forward to having my own space where I can hide away when I need to. 

This week, we have also been following a local Christmas Lights Trail.  When I purchased the pack, I was expecting there to be 15 or 20 houses to visit - not over 80!  We did a few on Sunday night, but it looks like we won't be finishing in time for the competition this Sunday, lol.

I'm also continuing with the home education stuff. Locally, we've just requested a formal co-production process with the LA for updating their policy and training.  We'll see if that makes any headway!
Nationally, I'm still involved with the EHE Alliance, looking to fight the HE register and keep up the pressure during this HE Inquiry by the Education Select Committee.

Weighty Worries

I've been trying to write this post for the past fortnight, and I keep starting and deleting.  I'm going round in circles in my mind and I don't know what to do.

I am not losing weight.  It's easy enough to see why - I'm not limiting my eating enough and/or not exercising enough.  And I don't want to.  There, I said it.  I've known for a while my mind isn't in the right place to lose weight.

I'm ok with how I look.  Whilst ideally I would like to lose some weight, actually, I'm ok with how I am. I do have moments, especially when I'm on zoom calls, where I notice my double chin is looking more like a triple or quadruple chin, and I would like to be thinner so I have more choice of clothing, but I don't care enough to change for those reasons.

I'm trying to lose weight in order to have DIEP reconstruction when I have my double mastectomy.  I haven't spoken to a GP or surgeon yet, because I've heard that in order to have DIEP your BMI has to be below a certain level. My BMI is currently 34.5 and I've heard it should be a maximum of 27, if not 25 (ie top end of Healthy weight). So, I've started to think about having implants instead.  I've got no issue with implants, but it's not what I wanted, and that thought makes me sad. Yet, surely if I cared enough, I would make the effort to lose weight? Surely I wouldn't be stuffing mince pies in my gob at every opportunity?

When I had my hysterectomy, I planned on having mastectomy by the time I'm 40.  I'm 38 now, which means (assuming it takes a year for the process [ignoring coronavirus]), I need to see my GP and request it in less than 6 months time. I lack the self belief, let alone will-power, that I am going to be able to lose weight in that time.

I feel like stopping actively trying to lose weight is quitting.  And that isn't good for my depression.
I feel like continuing with the charade of weekly updates makes me a fraud.  And that isn't good for my depression.

If I could have surgery today and any reconstruction I want, I would choose DIEP, even with the added risks of being overweight and the longer recovery time.  Implants is an option, and I could potentially swap implants for DIEP later in the future.  But I don't want implants.  And I don't like to fail.

Who knows? This could be my depression talking, because it's dark and wintery, I've missed my antidepressants a bit too often recently, and I want an excuse to not have to watch what I'm eating with Christmas coming up.  Or it could be that I'm finally facing up to the truth that I don't have the willpower, energy, or strength of character to lose weight effective.  I'm just too lazy.

Weekly Update Y2w48

 Do you know, it's taken me til nearly the end of the year, before I noticed that I've numbered these weeks wrong?!  According to people in the know, it's actually week 49 this week, and that 2020 has 53 weeks in it.  I'm not going to change it now, but thought it was worth commenting.

I haven't actually weighed myself this morning. Yesterday I was 91.5kg and have been bobbling around there for a while, so still not go below 90kilos.  I don't have any defence, other than the Christmas overeating has already started for me - lebkuchen, iced mince pies, chocolate spread straight from the tub, all the usuals, lol.  If I can get to the other side of Christmas without putting weight on, I'll be happy.  I am trying to eat veggies most still.  My husband and I don't have potatoes or bread often any more with our Sunday dinners, but pile up different types of vegetables, and my tastes are slowly changing.  

I haven't got a graph today either.  I was up all night with my pup (and then DD2 came downstairs in the middle of the night after a nightmare) so between the two of them, I haven't had much sleep), so when I woke up and played on my phone (sorry, the daily challenges of Woodoku, Sudoku and Killer Sudoku won't play themselves, ya know) my phone promptly died, so it's currently charging, disabling me from being able to update my spreadsheet.

The past couple of weeks, most my time has been taken up with HE stuff, which is pretty obvious with what I've been posting recently.  There's still more to do, but I was glad I was able to take a day off and not switch my laptop on at all yesterday.

I've also been busy painting DD1's bedroom! It just needs a second coat of blue, the ceiling painted, and the carpet changed for laminate, then she can move in, and I'll be a step closer to getting my own work room!  I want to paint it before I start working there because I know what I'm like - I'd fill it with all my stuff, then decide it'll be too much of a hassle removing everything to paint it, so it will never get done.

I'm aware I haven't written any book reviews for ages either.  I currently have 1 or 2 that I'm still waiting to write, but haven't yet had the time, but I haven't read as much as usual recently, again because of my time taken up reading through various documents, guidance, and letters from LAs.

Weekly Update Y2w46

 I'm hoping things have turned a corner, and my weight is starting to go down again!

Clearly, going for at least one long walk a day is starting to help, as is starting to eat home cooked foods again. Now it's winter, I'm starting to make stews, soups and casseroles again, which I pack with vegetables.

I've actually been really busy this week.  I read a whole series of books, that I need to write a review for, as well as finishing a 7day prayer Bible Study.  We're starting to make progress at finishing the girls' bedrooms (well, DD1's, since DD2's was finished over the summer), which in turn means it hopefully won't be too much longer before my room gets done.  I'm really busy with tutoring, and am having to turn people away.  Once DD2 goes to school next year, I'll be able to take on more students.

And speaking of home education, my LA is being awful atm, so I'm having to organise, counteract and help coordinate the response to that, as how they are acting atm is totally unlawful. Grrr.

Getting our puppy

When we were looking for a puppy we had to be quite specific at which breeds we looked at because I'm allergic to dogs.  I did have a dog growing up - a gorgeous red setter called Max.  Unfortunately, the loss of him was too great for my parents and we didn't get another.  My husband, otoh, grew up with Westies until he left home at 18yo.  It was only after an allergic reaction to something unknown, that I was tested as an adult, and found to be allergic.

DD2 loves animals, and has been begging for a pet - any pet at all - since she was very young.  As my husband and I are dog-people, it would always be a dog, but I wasn't keen on having one whilst the girls were small.  To try and help the girls realise the level of responsibility that comes with owning a pet, I had said that we wouldn't get one until they had shown they are responsibly by keeping their bedrooms tidy for 6 months in a row.  That kept them appeased for a few years, as I kept saying that I would have a dog, but needed them to be tidier so the dog wouldn't get hurt.  Meanwhile, however, I had been thinking about getting a dog.

Ideally I would have wanted to get a rescue dog, however, because I'm limited to which breeds I am looking for, dogs that are suitable for our family are few and far between - the ones that are available specify that they need experienced owners, or no children, or both.  Then about a month ago, on Dog's Trust website, there were a pair of poodles - 4 years old - but they had to be homed together.  They were gorgeous!  Unfortunately (though fortunately for them), I saw the advert late at night, and when I phoned the following day, they had closed applications for them.  Going from no pets, to 2 potential pets, to no pets within 24hours made me realise how much I do want a dog.

So, I had been looking at adverts on as many websites as possible, and reading up about what to look for in a pet and a breeder etc.  There is also a lot of information about puppy farms.  Whilst I know they exist, I didn't realise quite how prevalent they are.  The old adage of "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is" seems highly accurate when looking for a pet.  There were loads of adverts that I didn't even click on, some that I spotted and managed to contact the website owner to get taken down, and one that I didn't realise was a puppy farm until I contacted them, and someone with a different name, with a different email and phone number, and a different location, offered "just for me" £250 off the advertised price, plus he'll deliver it to me.  I feel sad for the pups, but I don't want to give my money to people like that, no thank you.

The breeder we found is fairly local, and as soon as I contacted her, she replied asking me a load of questions about why I wanted one of her pups, whether the pup would be left at home during the day, etc etc.  I had visited a few other puppies (because I refused to make a decision there and then, they were often sold by the following day), but she was the first to ask me anything, before she agreed for me to view the pups, and that made me have confidence in her.  

Due to covid, we had to have masks on, and meet in her garden, but the pups were gorgeous.  I thought it would be hard choosing between them, but luckily I didn't have to choose - she chose me!  We now have an agonising wait before we can bring her home to join us, with a couple of visits in between, but we are very glad to have made this decision.  Not only are we getting a new family member, it has prompted the girls to tidy and get rid of excess (I have said that any toys or clothes they sell, they can keep the money for), so our house is looking great!

Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy by Steve Mann

If you don't follow me on Facebook (and if not, why not?!) you may not have seen the news that we have put down a deposit on a puppy.  We can't bring her home for another fortnight, but we are in love with her already.

So, as is my way, I have immediately bought and read a load of books about dogs.  Oh, maybe not a load, but I have bought two for myself and two for my girls.  And yes, I have read them all already.

The first of these is Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy and it contains a wealth of information.

The blurb says:

My name's Steve Mann and I've been a professional dog trainer and behaviourist for over 30 years. As founder of the Institute of Modern Dog Trainers, I've helped transform the lives of over 100,000 dogs and their families - and now I want to help you, too!

Whether you're living with a brand-new puppy, an adult dog or rescue dog, my methods will give you everything you need to know. Using simple, proven, science-based and ethical techniques, I'll show you how to have the best relationship with your pup, as well as teaching you how to get:

super-fast recalls, great loose lead walking, perfect manners and much, MUCH more...

I promise, it really is easy peasy and every tip, trick and lesson will bring you and your puppy closer together.

I'll see you on the other side.

This is a really well written book. It is casual enough that you feel like you are having a conversation with Steve, yet it is full of solid advice, ways to approach your pet, tips and tricks (though in reality, there is no trick, other than starting training your dog right and don't use violence or aggression to them).

I'm not going to go into what the book teaches too much, because this is a book that I think is worth you buying, but I now have a list of key words stuck to my fridge, and I feel more confident looking after a new member of the family.

If you have a puppy, or want one, read this book, and if you have an older dog, you may be interested to know that Steve Mann has a book aimed at older dogs too.

You've Got a Friend In Me - The Collective Virtual Choir

If you haven't read about The Collective before, why haven't you read this post or this one? Eh? Eh!

Anyway, here is the final video for You've Got a Friend in Me:

I am in here somewhere!  And no, I haven't found me yet, lol.  So if you see someone with fading purple hair and and a cowboy hat, let me know!

And if you think you're likely to want to join in, firstly, why haven't you joined in already? But more importantly, there is a new song starting soon, so if you did want to join in now is the perfect time. It's Sting's Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.

Weekly Update Y2 w36

Last week I extended my timeline of trying to get below 90 kilos, as I only got to 90.7kg.  
This week I have lost weight - yey! - but only to 90.3kg, so I will be extending my timeline again.
I will get through this barrier... eventually.

My exercise had to go on hold this past week too.  Clearly I'm getting old, as I woke up last week in agony, not being able to move my neck.  It hurt just to sit up and walk around the house, so I wasn't going to be walking or jogging anywhere.  Fortunately, that only lasted a couple of days, and though my neck doesn't have full mobility again yet, I can walk around and drive without issue.  

I'm still looking for sponsorship for the 2020 Race For Life, so if you haven't sponsored me yet and can spare a couple of quid, please click https://tinyurl.com/sponsor-musings

So, for this week I am going to keep up the water, keep up the exercise, and I am going to eat more vegetables.  And, I am yet again, going to try and break through the 90kilo barrier.

Weekly Update Y2w35

I missed last week's update - not just because it was a bad week for my weightloss.  I genuinely was really busy.  As I shared in my update on facebook we have been working hard to redecorate the girls' bedrooms, sort out all the toys that the no longer play with now they are getting older, and I'll eventually get my own study.  This has actually taken most of my time, so I haven't worked any more on either the MosaiCraft I am currently working on, or the other project I mentioned a while ago.  My hope, when I do get my study, is that I'll have a space where I can work and get the work done that I need to every day.
In the same update, I mentioned on FB, that my mum's cancer has returned, and my dad now has prostate cancer.  I did manage to visit them both in August, for which I am grateful.
And, in addition to all that, it was both DD2's 10th birthday and my husband's 38th this past week, so I've been out for food a bit more that normal.

I had set myself the challenge of getting below 90kilos by September.  Honestly, I have not done well, not least before of the aforementioned reasons.  Technically I haven't failed yet - it's not September until tomorrow, but realistically I doubt it will happen.  Hopefully a single week more will get me down to that weight.

I do have some positives though, despite my spike in weight: I am easily drinking a good amount of water at the moment, and I am exercising and going for walks.  I have even signed up to do the 2020 Race For Life (in case anyone wants to sponsor me and can spare a pound or two, please click HERE) as a way to encourage me to keep going out.  I even went out last week when it tipped down, and got absolutely soaked!  But I did it, and the shower felt even better than usual afterwards!

So, for this week I am going to keep up the water, keep up the exercise, and I am going to eat more vegetables.  Last night I ate cabbage steak topped with taco seasoning and cheese and it was delicious! Now schools are going back next week, I need to get back in the habit of eating properly and preparing meals in advance.
And, I am yet again, going to try and break through the 90kilo barrier.

The Collective Virtual Choir - One Voice

Throughout lockdown, I've been keeping my depression at bay by singing regularly.  Unfortunately, my usual Adult Musical Theatre group has had to stop, however, I have been able to join The Collective - a virtual choir made up of many people around the world!

The Collective was started by Simon Lubkowski, a music teacher and barbershopper.  His vision (I encourage you to read the About Section on the Facebook Page) has taken off, with a fantastic team of volunteers who are all encouraging everyone to do their best, and now with thousands of participants, singing their hearts out.  Being part of the group, I can see the amazing amount of work that the leaders all do for free - from the admin, the tech team, to the music group and section leaders, to Simon himself, who seems to not need sleep at all!  It is the type of production that people would gladly pay to be part of, but it is done solely for the love of music and spreading joy.  It's amazing.

I missed out on the very first song (White Cliffs of Dover), but I have joined for three songs, and unfortunately have had to pull out again, because I'm just too busy to dedicate the time the latest song deserves.  

The first of these songs was One Voice by Barry Manilow.  Not being a Manilow fan (sorry! I don't dislike him, just couldn't care either way) I didn't know the song beforehand, so had to learn everything from scratch.  The materials to learn the song, both the music script and audio of the song, plus individual parts (I sing soprano) are all provided to you as part of the collective.  The music team then gets to work teaching everyone, over zoom, the melody, breath points, various singing and breathing techniques (ninja breaths!), multiple times a day, multiple days a week, across various time zones for the international singers.  

One participant, Ian Walker, deserves special mention as he made an app for all the information you could possibly need: links to videos, audio, script, rehearsals etc all separated out into your section part (Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass or Solo), and adjusted according to your timezone.  Very impressive!

Once the song is learnt, the music team then focuses on performance, how to put emotion in the song, and the tech team teaches how to record your final version and the technology you need.  And, if that wasn't enough, they invite everyone participating to record themselves to gain feedback to improve their performance.  

As I write this, I had a sense of deja vu, and I have written about this before, so sorry for the repetition.
I will now get to the point of this post - the final video!

Recording it was a bit of a palaver, as I didn't have a good set-up, so I'd have to balance my laptop on a couple of boxes on an upturned bucket on my bed.  Not only that, before this recording I woke up late, and had to rush to put my make-up on, before joining in the zoom meeting.

But that didn't put me off.  After the tech team did their magic to integrate all the individual recordings from hundreds of people, to align them all, and then to get it to align with the video (that was recorded separately) the video was finally finished!  Hours and hours and hours of work for the volunteers to produce this 8minute final video.  I am there; briefly during the song itself, and more clearly in amongst the credits at the end.

I hope you like it.

Flooding Bathroom

Yesterday I woke up, used the en-suite and noticed that when I stood on the tiles, they bubbled and water came up.  I mentioned it to my husband when he returned from work, who admitted that he had had a shower before work with the door open... 😒😒

So we mopped it up, but the water kept coming.  Every time we stood on a tile, more water would appear, so we figured that the water had gone under the tiles and we'd need to lift them.

After a few hot days, we couldn't sleep much and I awoke at 5am.  As the tiles were still wet, my lovely husband decided that this was the best time for hammer & chiselling up the tiles... 😒

After drying under the tiles, husband went to work, but more water kept appearing.  In my husband's defence, the water wasn't coming from the shower, that was just a coincidence. 
No, the water was coming from the toilet. 😒

You can actually see the different colour of the grout
dark and wet near the toilet
lighter and dry away from it.

So, on to CheckaTrade to find an emergency plumber.  I like to use local and independent companies if possible, so I was pleased that A Team Plumbing and Heating was the first to answer my call. 
(At time of writing, they don't have their own website or Facebook page, but if that changes I will edit their details in here.)

I phoned late morning, and Lee was able to come round to have a look in the afternoon.  He took the toilet off, located wand isolated the leak, explaining everything that he was doing.  As he didn't have replacement parts on him and another job to go to he promised he would be back either later or tomorrow and sort it then.  I was only expecting him to stop the leak, give a quote and rearrange an appointment at an unknown point in the future.  I was impressed that he was able to fix it all so soon.

Fortunately for me, he was able to come back after an hour, this time with James who did the work.  All the way through, I was updated with what they were doing and why.  They were very friendly and knowledgeable, and offered advice on areas beyond the job they were doing (specifically, a discussion about replacing the tiles, and which brand to go for when we need to replace our boiler).
They even tidied up everything and took all the rubbish away with them!

All in all, it was only a couple of hours work, and he charged me less than what he quoted!  

He did ask for a review on CheckaTrade, which I was more than happy to give, and I am happy to give this review here too. 
If anyone needs a boiler in Swindon or the surrounding areas (I know he works in Bristol too), use A Team Plumbing and Heating.

Enjoying Life

I've been missing in action for a few days.  10 days ago we decided last minute to drive all the way to Scotland to see my mum and husband in her new house.  She moved last year, and it's too far and too expensive to go normally.  However, with lockdown easing somewhat, but still being unable to go on holiday, my husband took some time off work and we went for a mini break.

It was really good to see her.  Her house is lovely; it's in the middle of nowhere with a large garden and views of the countryside all around.  They are undergoing building work atm so her mother-in-law can move in, but even with that, the house was plenty big enough for my tribe to be housed for  few days.

On the way back down, we spend the night with my dad.  Again, it was great to see him as I hadn't seen him and his wife since before Christmas!  Living far away from family (and not being a fan of phones, beyond texting) it is good to be able to have time to catch up with family properly.

This past Thursday was my 15th Wedding Anniversary.  The girls went to the effort of making us a card each, and they brought us coffee and breakfast in bed.  For lunch, I had pre-bought an Afternoon Tea from Jasmine & Honey Bakery.  It was delicious! And you know how fussy my girls are with eating, and they enjoyed the children's version too.  I bought a cake/afternoon tea stand so we could dish it all out properly, and we drank champagne with lunch.  

Photos from Jasmine&Honey Bakery

Unfortunately, Thursday was also the day that both my parents spoke to their consultants.  To cut a long story short, as my dad often says, they both have cancer.  My mum was expecting it, as her body was feeling like it does when the cancer returns, and it is now due.  She has ovarian cancer in the lymph nodes in her pelvis.  My dad, otoh, was shocked.  He was expecting to be told he had prostate cancer, as his dad had it for many years.  However, unlike my grandad, my dad's cancer has been termed "significant".  He has to undergo more investigations before determining how it will be treated. My dad's consultant also refused to test him for the BRCA2 gene mutation, which I can understand somewhat, however, if my dad does have it, and I have inherited it (in addition the the BRCA1 gene I know about), I should not be on oestrogen HRT, especially not before I have a mastectomy.  So that's a little bit of disappointment, on top of a lot of shit.

In better news, yesterday, I finally got my hair redyed.  I went to Sharon Rewston again and she didn't disappoint.  We went with the same colour scheme as last time, but used some of the teal that was in my hair from being lightened, and it's now ribbonned from dark blue into other colours (purple, pink and teal) as you come down the strands.

Now we're all back home, I need to get back in the habit of eating well (yes I put on weight this past week), moving more, blogging more, and working more.  I am enjoying life for what it is, as nobody knows what the future holds.

Weekly Update Y2w29

I'm a bit delayed with my usual update.  Life has suddenly got really busy - in a good way, but busy nonetheless.

I'm still tutoring atm, though that will end next week, as I've decided to take the whole of August off.  We've not got any plans to go anywhere (yet) but have lots of other projects to do and catch up on.
I'm still doing my MosaiCraft project.  I am now over halfway (currently on base plate 18 out of 30), but it has slowed down a lot, because I'm not sat outside as much as I was at the start of lockdown.  Instead, I am spending much of my time on m computer, not blogging, but working on my new project.  I am trying to spend a few hours each day on it, at least. It is going very slowly though, not least because I am doing it all myself.  I've set myself a deadline of Christmas to have it finished, but I have no idea if that is realistic or not?

Similarly, I am not reading as much as I was.  I am still several books ahead of my GoodReads yearly challenge, and I have a book that I am still yet to review, but I feel like I am spending more and more time on my laptop - much to the chagrin of DD2 who always wants my laptop to play Minecraft!

I'm also still singing with The Collective Virtual Choir.  I'm on my third song with them, but even that has taken a bit of a backseat, and I've been unable to go as many rehearsals as I would like.  Many are being recorded, so I can catch up, but that still requires time to actually watch them.  Today/tonight is the deadline for recording song 3 for feedback, and I still haven't had time to have a go yet, I just hope that when I do, the background noise is quiet enough for the recording to be acceptable.

So, that's all my excuses out of the way.  This past week hasn't been great in all honesty, but focusing on the positives, my weight today (which will be counted as part of next week's update) has finally got below 91kilos - again.  It's almost like to consistently lose weight, I need to reduce the takeaways, reduce the alcohol and up the exercise - who knew??!!

There is still the overall trend downwards from the start of the year, and even my localised peaks are reducing, but I have more work to do.

This week, I have been able to keep drinking Water First, and am hitting my water target of 90 fl oz (2.5litres) each day.  Yes, it does mean that I need the loo lots, but I notice the effect on my body when I don't drink enough, so I'm happy to continue.

I'm also getting back into the habit of eating Veggies Most.  Some examples from this week have included aubergine crisps, meatballs on courgetti spaghetti, and roast turkey with potato salad on a bed of courgettes.  Aiming to eat over half of my meals to be vegetables has been a challenge at times, especially lunchtimes because it's all too easy to make a sandwich or have a bowl of cereal, but yesterday I had an omelette stuffed with mushrooms and spinach, which was delicious, so I need to keep reminding myself that it is possible to eat Veggie Most meals that don't take ages to prepare or cook.

I have had some good news (ish).  For the surgery I want (my reason for losing weight - click on the Mastectomy label in the word cloud to the right), rather than getting down to a BMI below 25, which I thought, depending on the surgeon I may only need to get down to below 28 or even 30!  In real terms, that's still shitloads of weight I need to lose, but slightly less than I thought.

Edit to add:
I totally forgot to mention that over the summer we're changing our house around and redecorating.  DD1 has decided that her box room is too small for her (which tbf it totally is) so is moving up to the Play Room.  The Play Room is a total misnomer - it's really the Kids' Junk Room.  I avoid going up there as much as possible as it's not good for my stress levels.  However, as she wants that to be her room, I'm having to go up there to tidy up all the crap toys, that the girls haven't played with for years and years.  As DD2 still plays with these toys on the rarest of occasions, she wants many of them moved into her room, which means that the big 4x4 Ikea bookcase will need to be moved into DD2's room. 
Additionally, as DD2's room has never been decorated since we moved in 5 years ago, we're taking the opportunity to redecorate - which has involved me spending 2 full days tidying her room too, in order to get the floor empty enough that we can redecorate.  Obviously, it will be easier to redecorate before moving a giant bookcase in there.
And because DD1's new room was the playroom, the carpet is what was in the room when we moved it, and not only was it bad then, it is covered with paint and other stains, so she needs new flooring before she can move in.
DD1's old room, is going to become MY room - yey!  It is going to have a comfy sofa bed that guests can use, but I can read on, and a desk and chair so tht I can work in there, rather than on the dining table as I am atm.  Given I'd quite like to keep tutoring online, it will be a nice quiet room free of distraction, and NOBODY ELSE will be allowed in. Ever! My own space, that I can use to get away from everyone - yes!
So I'm still busy.

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Jacobs

 

Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl is one of the books that can be listened to for free within the teen section on Audible Stories.  (Audible Stories are free for the duration that schools are closed for coronavirus.)  I have been listening to this book whilst completing my current Mosaic Craft project.

I chose this book to listen to as part of my commitment into understanding more about race relations and Black Lives Matter.  I recently watched the documentary 13th, all about the 13th Amendment and how though slavery officially stopped, it just changed form afterwards.

The audio book has the subtitle "written by herself" which prompted me to do a bit of research since the author is Harriet Jacobs, but the story revolves around a slave called Linda Brent.  They are indeed the same person; Linda was a pseudonym used by Jacobs.

The blurb says:

This autobiographical account by a former slave is one of the few extant narratives written by a woman. Written and published in 1861, it delivers a powerful portrayal of the brutality of slave life. Jacobs speaks frankly of her master's abuse and her eventual escape, in a tale of dauntless spirit and faith.

Listening to this book, and being a mother myself, it is horrific to consider what she, and many other people, had to endure as slaves.  Not only what they went through themselves, but the powerlessness to be able to keep their own children safe.

This book is definitely worth reading/listening to for everyone.  There is some sensitive topics (eg sexual violence) described, but not in so much detail that it would be pornographic, and I agree with Audible's suggestion that you should be at least teenage to appreciate this book.  When my children are older, I will encourage them to read it.

Hair Update

I've just realised today that I had my hair dyed over 6 months ago!
I didn't expect it to even last until Christmas, but the colour stayed and I was suitably impressed.

Previously when I've dyed my hair (either myself, or at a hairdressers) the dye would come out thick and fast, and I was led to believe that my hair simply wasn't porous enough to hold the dye, even with bleaching first.  So though I had wanted purple hair for years, it was always a pipe dream, and I hoped that when I finally go grey, my hair would change sufficiently that I would be able to dye it.

Then a friend was telling me about her hairdresser, and personal recommendations are always the best, so after saving up, and psyching myself up, I went to Sharon Rewston.  Not only did she do the usual allergy test at the pre-appointment, Sharon also took a sample of hair and bleached and dyed it to see the colour that would come out.  I wasn't happy with the first try, so she tried again and got a brighter colour.

The day of the appointment came, and I was expecting it to take 3-4hours; it actually took over 8, but given the amount of work that needed to be done, it wasn't a surprise.  The price was more than I had previously spent on my hair, but it was agreed beforehand (even with the work taking longer than expected) and was definitely worth it.

The resulting colour was even brighter than I expected, so I was happy at the time and as I said above, I was still happy at Christmas time when the colour remained.

Over the following months, the colour did fade slightly, and my roots were growing.  I made an appointment for the start of May, where the colour would be refreshed and my roots would be dyed a plum colour.  (Forward planning, so that the next time my hair was to be dyed I could go bright pillar-box red, and the colours would gradually go from purple to red.)

Unfortunately, Coronavirus happened.  Lockdown happened and everything had to close.  My appointment was cancelled until further notice, but I understood, because everyone's health is more important than the colour of my hair.

During lockdown it has mainly been very hot and sunny.  My mental health is better if I'm outside, so I have been sitting as much as possible in the back garden, getting plenty of Vitamin D.

This has had the unexpected effect of lightening my hair.  I say unexpected, because it didn't occur to me, though logically the sun always bleaches colour.  Even my natural hair colour, which is very dark brown, the sun causes the red pigment to show more and gives me golden strands.  

Though my hair colour is now fading, I have to say that I'm loving the fade.  It has gone through Unicorn colours (as the pic above) and the blue is now turning a green, which DD2 reliably informs me is turning my hair Mermaid colours.

Yes, I would like my hair to be bright and bold again, but given current circumstances, I am doubly impressed with Sharon Rewston's hairdressing skills that not only has the colour lasted for over 6 months now, but that it is changing and fading in such a gorgeous way.  

So that is the point of this post.  If you need a brilliant hairdresser and you can travel to Swindon, then once lockdown has finished, call up Sharon.  I can't recommend her enough.

History in the Making

2020, so far as we're not even half way through yet!, seems to be a highly significant year.  

I know most years feel significant in one way or another - for example both 2016 and 2017 shocked the nation and the world due to the number of celebrity deaths, though when looked at objectively, given the time when TVs because household items, and the ages of various celebrities as well as the growth of music, sport and celebrity culture, it's actually no surprise that many of them get old at the same time.

2020, however, feels different to that, not least because of all the different things that we have been dealt with on a global scale.  Firstly there were the wildfires that ravaged Australia.  We've had a global pandemic that we are still living through.  And now we are living through world-wide protests about race and societal structures that perpetuate the differences and hardships that non-whites face.

Now, normally on a Monday I do my Weekly Update, and today I was looking forward to it because I am my lowest weight!!! But instead, I have decided to put my thoughts on what has happened at the weekend.

Over the weekend there have been many protests to tell the world that Black Lives Matter.  I have given my thoughts on race and privilege before. Now, because we are in a pandemic some people have said that people should not be protesting.  I disagree with that.  We are in a pandemic, so people should not be having parties on the beach, or squashing together in supermarkets trying to get the latest deal, or driving 200-odd miles with your wife and 4yo child just in case you need childcare... However, speaking out for what you believe, speaking up for those who because of systematic racism need your support, is always a good thing.

Now, I don't agree with unnecessary violence.  I don't think bricks should be thrown at police horses (though as a friend pointed out - why would a responsible horse owner take a horse into a violent situation? - food for thought!) and I don't think there should be mindless acts of vandalism.  Spray painting "BLM" on buildings and plinths just doesn't site right with me.  Yet, as a Bristolian, I was pleased to see the statue of Edward Colston toppled and rolled into the river.  It seems like poetic justice.

My friend and fellow blogger has written a more articulate post about Edward Colston that I could.
There is lots in Bristol that uses his name.  I have read that, after refurbishment, Colston Hall will be changing its name.  I wonder if Colston's School will be going through a similar thought process in the near future?  Bristol has a long history of slavery, and I certainly don't think that should be white-washed or forgotten, but should be remembered and learned from.  It certainly shouldn't be celebrated by statues in public, rather in a museum where the public can be educated.

There is currently a petition for a new statue to sit on the remaining plinth (which I'm more upset it has been graffiti-ed than the statue removed): https://tinyurl.com/y9c8mu78

Personally, I would like it to be replaced by the image of this man, perhaps with statues of slaves themselves around the base.  

I don't know who to credit the photo
but will amend when I do.

Remember this day.  

Remember things can change.  

We all have the power to do a little,

Which will add up to something big.

A Sweary Poem

Fuck!
The fucking world is all fucked up.
What the fuck can we do?
Fuck off if you don't give a shit.
I do.
And if you think swearing is a sign of a bad vocabulary?
Fuck you.
Hell yes, I just said that.
We need to stop fucking around
And take ownership of our fuck-ups.
I am as guilty as the next
And if you're more worried about what I'm saying
Rather than why I'm saying it
You can shut the fuck up.
The world is fucked.
We are all to blame.
And because I don't want this to become a heavy essay detailing all the different ways the world is fucked right now (which incidentally I did start typing, but it was becoming far too long and convoluted so I deleted it all) I want to encourage you to open your eyes, educate yourself, educate those around you and speak up, even if you think your voice won't be heard or you are as much of a coward as I am.
The world is broken
But we can still
Thank God.
He came to save us
And we can be the change.
Can we change the world?
Abso-fucking-lutely.