Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst

I was recommended Made to Crave by a friend who had started reading it a while ago, and was planning to finish reading it.  We decided to read it together - a few chapters each week - and then coming together on a Friday to discuss what we had learned.

The blurb says:

The reality is we were made to crave. Craving isn’t a bad thing. But we must realize God created us to crave more of him. Many of us have misplaced that craving by overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. If you are struggling with unhealthy eating habits, you can break the “I’ll start again Monday” cycle, and start feeling good about yourself today. Learn to stop beating yourself up over the numbers on the scale. Discover that your weight loss struggle isn’t a curse but rather a blessing in the making, and replace justifications that lead to diet failure with empowering go-to scripts that lead to victory. You can reach your healthy weight goal – and grow closer to God in the process. This is not a how-to book. This is not the latest and greatest dieting plan. This book is the necessary companion for you to use alongside whatever healthy lifestyle plan you choose. This is a book and Bible study to help you find the "want to" in making healthy lifestyle choices.

The idea that feeling cravings wasn't a 'bad' thing was a new idea to me, but makes sense that these cravings are created by God and should be directed to Him. The book is full of ways to keep God as the centre of your focus, as you build your relationship to him, and weightloss is almost a side effect.  Honestly, I did find that I was losing weight as I read the book (See my Weekly Updates from Y2Wk12), with my weight going from 95.3kg to 91.4kg, which is quite an achievement, when it feels like nothing much has changed!

If you are a Christian who is trying to lose weight (or indeed take control of other cravings), there are lots of insights to be found in this book.  It is highly recommended.

Weekly Update Y2w21

As I explained on my FB page (HERE), I have been really busy so forgot to update last week.

This week I'll give a quick update, though you don't really need me to describe the graph.

My weight was going down nicely, then I had my birthday.  It has taken longer than I hoped for my weight to stabilise again, but it it near enough stable and has started to decrease again.

As the weather is staying warm, we're having more BBQs - not a bad thing in itself, but I need to remember that I don't need to have bread with the burger, or alcohol, or the extra giant toasted marshmallow, or anything else that my family has.  That's not to say I can't have any of it, but I should ensure that I eat Veggies Most, and enjoy my treats as 'treats' and not 'normals'.

Weekly Update Y2w19

Let's start by getting the elephant* out of the way - can you tell I had my birthday last week?

*as in "the elephant in the room", not as in me!

Despite that, I'm still pleased.  I hit a new lowest weight during the week, and after 2 days of increases, my weight is starting to decrease again, so I'm counting this as a win!  

I am trying to make a lifestyle change, rather than simply omitting lots of foods for the weight to go back on afterwards.  So, yes, it was my birthday and I had cake.  Actually, I had two cakes - one from a friend and one from my husband, both ordered from Mcctaffs!  I wasn't expecting either, so it was a lovely surprise. 

We have demolished the sweetie cake (which may or may not have something to do with the weight gain...), whereas for the chocolate one, I regained my senses and we portioned it up and froze the individual portions (well over 30 left over, and we ate plenty!).  That way, when we want cake, we can simply defrost the amount we are going to eat, rather than  eating it because it is there.

I was also given a box of chocolates, and am only allowing myself one per day - at the end of the day.  Sometimes I can do this easily, tbf, usually I can do this easily.  It's only when I'm stressed or depressed I can't (assuming it's decent chocolate - if it's cheap or milk chocolate, then I don't get my 'hit' and I end up scoffing the lot, which I hate myself for afterwards as I don't even enjoy it).  This is going well so far, even though I did have a wobble and felt myself being called by the chocolate, but I got through it with God's help.  Yes, I am praying every time I get a craving, because I know that I don't have enough will power to lose weight - if I did, I wouldn't be on the 19th week of Year 2 of actively tracking my weightloss.  I would have decided I would lose weight back in Sept 2018, and poof, the weight would have melted away because I would immediately have eaten healthily, with good portion sizes, and done plenty of exercise - but we all know that didn't happen!

This week, my aim is to exercise 3 times (I have already done once - yey!).  I have been going through Body Groove's Pilates.  Each video is around 12minutes long.  I started doing one video at a time, and the last cycle I was doing 2 videos together.  Depending on how achy it feels when I am doing it, I am going to try putting 3 videos together this week, so I can finally say that I am exercising for 30min, 3 times a week. According to the NHS I should be trying for 150min a week, but I'm moving in the right direction.

Following His Heart by Donna Fasano

This book is the perfect antidote to how I felt after reading Wuthering Heights (though after chatting the book through with a friend, I do feel a bit better about WH - it just wasn't what I was expected).

Following His Heart is an easy-to-read romance the epitomises "chick lit". It follows the story of Sara, a widow in her 30s who runs her own baking company, selling directly to customers as well as supplying restaurants and other businesses cakes and desserts.

The blurb says:

Sara Carson is a 30-something widow with a busy life. Two fun-loving best friends, a caring mom who needs her, and a thriving sweet shop. What more could a woman want? But when the ancient plumbing in her shop springs a leak and a gorgeous, dark-eyed stranger rushes to her rescue, hilarity unfolds—and Sara quickly sees exactly what she’s been missing.

Something most peculiar draws Landon Richards to Ocean City, Maryland—and to the lovely Sara. This woman touches his heart like no other, and the two of them explore the heady attraction that pulses between them. But haunting dreams have a way of encroaching on reality, and the strange phenomenon that brings these two together will also threaten to tear them apart.

This is the first book in the Ocean City Boardwalk Series, where life for three enterprising women, Sara, Heather, and Cathy, isn’t just fun in the sun—love is waiting on those sandy shores!

This is a comforting story.  I read it in a day, and it left me feeling good.  It is predictable, but sometimes you just want to read something light and enjoyable to pass away the hours when lying in the sun in the garden (or on holiday if we weren't in lockdown due to coronavirus).  I enjoyed it.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

This is my classic for this year, though I listened to it through Audible Stories rather than reading it.

Wuthering Heights is a story of stories. It is written from the point of view of Mr Lockwood who rents Thrushcross Grange in the Yorkshire moors.  Incidentally, despite the fact I was listening to a Yorkshire accent at times, in my head "the moors" always mean West-country - either Exmoor or Dartmoor, so that's where I imagined it to be set.  Mr Lockwoods seeks out his Landlord, Heathcliff, in a nearby manor called Wuthering Heights.  After being met by various uncouth and impolite characters, when Mr Lockwood returns to the Grange, Nelly, the housekeeper tells him the story of Wuthering Heights and how each of the people there have developed into the people they are now.

The synopsis says:

Michael Kitchen gives us a masterclass in narration with this intelligent and believable performance of Emily Brontë's classic work. Listeners will be swept up in Heathcliff and Cathy's turbulent love affair, not to be released until long after the final word. 

The only novel written by Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights was originally published under the pseudonym Ellis Bell, and at first was thought to be the work of Emily's sister, Charlotte, the author of the classic Jane Eyre.

Wuthering Heights tells the tale of Heathcliff, a young orphaned gypsy boy, who is brought to the windswept moors of Yorkshire by Mr Earnshaw, the master of Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff's childhood there is riddled with bullying and humiliation, but the master's daughter, the precocious and untameable Cathy, becomes his ally, and a childhood fondness for one another grows to a great passion.

Following a misunderstanding, Heathcliff believes that Cathy has rejected him, and he leaves Wuthering Heights, only to return after three years have passed. When he returns, now mysteriously rich, he learns of Cathy's marriage to another and vows to focus his passionate nature on merciless revenge. Heathcliff's retribution proves so destructive that left in its wake are not only his enemies, but the very object of his obsession and, ultimately, himself.

I don't know whether I like this book or not? I certainly enjoyed listening to it, Michael Kitchen narrated it very well.  And I can appreciate the the quality of the writing.  The book left me wanting more at the end of each chapter, I wanted to find out what happened next and discover the fates of the characters.  However, I didn't like the story (which may be because the characters were so believable). 

Previously, I had always thought Wuthering Heights to be a dramatic love affair between Heathcliff and Cathy, taking place on the Moors, and reading it would make my heart swoon and my eyes brighten.  In fact, this is a book about a grumpy man who was humiliated as a child, and then seeks to take out his revenge on pretty much everyone around him, to the detriment of all.  We never find out the source of Heathcliff's money, and rather than this being a good ghost story, that seems to be forgotten mostly, until it seems to convey rantings of a madman, and at the very end of the book superstitious locals.

So, I'm glad that I have now read/listened to the book, and know the story.  As I said, it was enjoyable.  It's only now that the book is finished, that I'm left someone dissatisfied.

Truthbearer by Hans Erdman

Truthbearer is by Hans Erdman, so is my 'E' book in the sequence (not a difficult sequence, being alphabetical...).  It's a Christian Fantasy where different worlds come together.  Connor Clark is from First Earth (or Earth, as we Earthlings call it), but finds himself in another land called Gewellyn.

The blurb says:

A shadow of evil covers the world, and Connor Clark has spoken out against that evil. When his wife is executed for refusing to renounce her faith, Connor escapes and enters a strange world of elves, wizards and the Deep Magic. A world not yet controlled by the dark magic of evil. A place called Gewellyn. Connor is given a quest. Together with Iolena, the beautiful banished Elven queen, and the rogue elf bounty hunter Meta Kai, he is to take the Truth of the coming evil to the Nine Worlds. But first, they have to save Gewellyn itself.

The newly revised edition of "Truthbearer" begins the epic, award-winning Christian fantasy series, The Gewellyn Chronicles, and the story of the Truthbearer, the Most Beautiful Woman in the Nine Worlds, and the bounty hunter who is destined to become the greatest she-elf in history.

I have to say I was disappointed in this book.  It has such potential to be really really good.  Lots of fabulous ideas that I wanted to get my teeth into.  I just couldn't get to grips with how it was written: too much too fast. In the first chapter My Journey, it is written "To this day, I have no idea whether what I am living is real or a dream. Whether it is part of a medically induced coma, or I am really living this existence..." and that is exactly how this book feel when you read it: fast paced and jumping from one thing to the next. Then this happened. Then that happened. Then they were here.  And then there again.  And the next, and the next, and the next. 

The story itself isn't too bad, I just wanted the opportunity to slow down and enjoy it.  Some of the things that happened were far too easy, and I know this will sound oxymoronic, but this fantasy just wasn't realistic enough for me.  I read to the end of the book, so didn't hate it, but I won't be following the rest of the series.

[Edit: The author has given me the sequel to read to see if his writing style has improved.  My review of that book is here and I have added the next book to my wishlist.]

Weekly Update Y2w18

Last week was a 'Meh' week.  If you follow my Facebook page I've been posting more regularly how I've been feeling.  As such I didn't do as much exercise as I had planned - only once in fact.  Luckily I'm being held to account by a friend and am texting her when I do exercise.  This week has barely started and I have already texted her to say I have done two body groove videos!  (Slightly confusingly for people I know irl, my weightloss week goes Monday-Monday, but my exercise week goes Friday-Friday. So I'm counting the exercise I did on Saturday as 'this week' because the bulk of the week is still ahead.  It makes sense to me, anyway, lol)

Last week's update I said I got below 92kilos for the first time; this week, I have been below 92kilos all week!  My lowest weight so far is 91.7kg, so only just below, but it still counts! I honestly don't mind if I don't make big strides with this weightloss malarkey, as long as I keep persevering.  Weightloss, then sustaining, then weightloss, then sustaining, hopefully means that I will develop habits to last a lifetime.  I'm still learning to rely on God to help me as I'm beginning to see that I don't have the willpower in myself to lose weight - otherwise I would have done it already, and not be in week 18 of year 2!  I *know* all the things already, the science, the psychology, the quick tips and tricks that can aide me along the way.  What I am learning this time, however, is that reliance on God is a form of self-discipline that I *can* do with his help.

I'm due to finish the book I've been using on this journey this week, so will write it up then.  I hope my weightloss continues as I try and put what I've learned into practice - including increasing my exercise!