Weekly Update No32

I did put on weight on holiday - about half a stone.  But the holiday was really good, and I didn't eat ridiculously, just spent a lot of time laying down reading.  Even when in the pool, apart from when I was taking part in 'Aquagym', the pool was too crowded to do any swimming, and my girls just wanted to play and splash about.

I have lost weight since I returned last Wednesday, however that was because of two unfortunate incidents.
Firstly, on the Thursday, I was struck down with a 24hour tummy bug - actually, both the girls were ill as well as me - so I didn't eat anything for that day, other than drinking plenty of water and I ate some toast when I was finally starting to even contemplate food again.

Then, yesterday, I was struck by crippling stomach pain again. About lunchtime, despite not having eaten anything, I became 'aware' of my stomach. My husband suggested it might be because I was hungry. We went out for lunch and I ate a delicious salad, but couldn't finish it, as my stomach was hurting.  All afternoon I was uncomfortable and the pain was getting worse.  By bed-time I took some paracetamol, but couldn't sleep because of the pain and discomfort.  I saw 2am come and go before I finally managed to get some rest. After the previous occurrence in April, I did make an appointment with the doctor.  He agreed with my assessment that it was likely to be either gallstones or a stomach ulcer, and he referred to to have an ultrasound.  If that came up clear, I would need to be referred for an endoscopy.  The ultrasound was clear, so it's unlikely to be gallstones, but I've yet been unable to get to see a GP to be get the next referral.I have even tried getting a phone appointment and been unsuccessful.  I thought (naively hoped) that maybe the pain would miraculously have stopped, so I didn't pursue it as much as I could have, but then last night the pain returned. Ouch.

Looking on the positive side, I have lost most of the weight I had put on over the holiday.
I feel like I can't plan meals too far ahead because we might be going camping next week.  We often go to the same place at the end of August, but we haven't booked yet.  I do have smoothies in the fridge, so will get back to drinking those, and try to only drink a portion at a time, rather than a whole bottle...

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah

I was lent this book by a friend months and months ago <blush> and finally got around to reading it whilst on holiday last week.  Born a Crime follows the story of Trevor Noah's childhood, having been born as mixed race in South Africa during Apartheid.

The write-up says:

One of the comedy world's brightest new voices, Trevor Noah is a light-footed but sharp-minded observer of the absurdities of politics, race and identity, sharing jokes and insights drawn from the wealth of experience acquired in his relatively young life. As host of the US hit show The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, he provides viewers around the globe with their nightly dose of biting satire, but here Noah turns his focus inward, giving readers a deeply personal, heartfelt and humorous look at the world that shaped him.

Noah was born a crime, son of a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother, at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents' indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the first years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, take him away.

A collection of eighteen personal stories, Born a Crime tells the story of a mischievous young boy growing into a restless young man as he struggles to find his place in a world where he was never supposed to exist. Born a Crime is equally the story of that young man's fearless, rebellious and fervently religious mother - a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence and abuse that ultimately threatens her own life.
Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Noah illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and an unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a personal portrait of an unlikely childhood in a dangerous time, as moving and unforgettable as the very best memoirs and as funny as Noah's own hilarious stand-up. Born a Crime is a must read. 

The book is hugely funny and scary (because of it's truth) in equal measure. As someone who is privileged for growing white in the UK, it's shocking to read of what others grow up and experience as 'normal' in other parts of the world, within my lifetime.

The only criticism of this book I had, and it's just a personal thing, is that knowing him (ok, about him) as a stand-up now, I would like to have read about his transition from the teenager in South Africa getting up to high jinx to the popular comedian on prime time TV in the US.  That said, he could be purposely saving that for a sequel - I know I would want to read it.

Redcoats in the Buff

So last night, my husband and I had a night off from the kids, and went to see Mikron's show Redcoats.  Hailed by Ox in a Box that it was a "UK First", that's actually not true, as audiences were able to see the musical Hair when nude, back in 2017.  The fact it was a naturist event wasn't the reason we didn't take the kids as you know we love our Butlin's holidays! (I've spoken before about children and naturism), rather that it was in a gin distillery and I wanted to enjoy myself!


The show was fantastic!  The story followed Lynn, a lady who had been a Redcoat for 50years and was busy rehearsing (or trying to!) for her final show before she retires.  Unfortunately for her, the other characters, technician Terrence, Redcoat Barry and marketing-guru Destiny, have made some "tweaks" to her script.  The story goes through the history of how Billy Butlin started his holiday empire, and what Butlin's means to both Redcoats and holidaymakers who attend.  There is a good mix of laugh-out-loud humour, and more poignant moments, such as during the war.
My only criticism was when Terrence (aka @leccybaker123) says that his cakes get more follows/likes (or whatever - I don't insta) than sprockets and flanges.  Now, if he were a leccy, then he'd know that nobody cares about sprockets and flanges, but post a pic of a transistor or capacitor - whew, now I'm interested! lol

I often find shows with smaller casts have to try really hard to keep the audience's attention, but that was no problem for this crew.  The four actors are all brilliant singers and amazing musicians, swapping between various instruments (guitar, ukulele, violin, cello, saxophone, accordion and percussion) with ease, as well as portraying the characters very believably.
TBH, given some of the interesting tribute acts I've seen at Butlin's, this would be a good addition to the holiday parks; maybe not every year, but for anniversaries, or even every 5 years, this would be an amusing and interesting show.

I had not heard of Mikron before this, but I would recommend them.
And if Butlin's isn't your thing - they are also currently touring a show about The Wrens.

Enjoy Your Prayer Live by Michael Reeves

I was given a copy of Enjoy Your Prayer Life for free by my church, as a summer read.  Then at the end of August, there will be a Church BBQ where we can sit and discuss what we have learned, what has struck us and how we have changed since reading it.

The blurb says:

Sadly, most of us struggle to set aside time to pray. But, fear not, this is not another book that will pile on the guilt, simply saying pray better and more often. Instead, Michael Reeves shows us not only why prayer is so essential, but also how we can enjoy it too.Taking his cue from Calvin's definition that prayer is the chief exercise of faith,' Reeves helps us understand that prayer should be a natural expression of our faith. Just as faith is awakened as we grasp the wonders of the gospel, so prayer follows as our hearts respond to these glorious truths. Enjoy your prayer life is a delightful read; and as you turn the pages, it'll show you that prayer doesn't have to be a duty to be performed, but is rather a gift to be enjoyed.

The book is organised into 14 chapters of a few pages each, it is very easy to read but challenging and thought-provoking enough for a strong Christian to gain something from the book. 

I, otoh, don't consider myself a strong Christian, and my prayer life is lacking at many times.  This book was just what I needed right now, specifically that we shouldn't think of prayer as something we "do", but actually prayer is how we live our lives. Prayer is something that does not come naturally to me, at least, but through prayer the Holy Spirit can draw us closer to God, as we look to imitate Jesus' relationship with the Father.

So would I recommend this book? Yes, I would to anybody who wants to understand prayer deeper, but in simple, coherent language.  Though the book could be read easily in 30min, I took my time and read 2 chapters a day whilst on holiday, as that gave me time to reflect and put into practice what was being said.  Even reading one chapter a day for a fortnight would only take a minute or two, but could enrich your life greatly.

Why don’t I like myself?

Recently a friend recently received some abuse because she posts a lot of selfies on her FB newsfeed. Now this friend does read this blog, so I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this. I luv ya lots xx

She was asked whether she posted because she ‘needed the likes’ and had apparently had ‘offended his beliefs’; and she came back with a brilliant explanation (not that she needed to) of why she does what she does, posts what she wants, because her body is a miracle that she is proud of. To quote her “So here it is, for likes and comments, my magical, amazing, miraculous, super strength body, on display, thin, chubby, pregnant, scandily[sic] clad, wrapped up and glitter dusted. I am not ashamed anymore and neither should you be of your magical skin sock.”

This friend has been through her fair share of shit in her time, and has come through stronger than ever. She is a fabulous woman, and I would love to learn to like myself like that.

I don’t like my body. It does what it needs to do (and my dislike isn’t enough to stop be going nude on a naturist beach – you don’t like it, don’t look!) but it’s not fit and it’s not healthy. Since going into surgical menopause, by waist has gotten wider and my stomach larger, yet I still have my huge hips and thunder thighs to match, so I’m big all over.  And I mention regularly that I need to lose weight and get my BMI below 30 (preferable below 25) before I can have the mastectomy I want.

I am very aware of the link between the state of my mental health and my ability to lose weight. I want to lose weight, but when my MH is low, I self-sabotage and I’m becoming aware that I self-harm too. Not in any overt way, but little things like not brushing my teeth, or washing clothes as often as I should. And the self-sabotage is usually along the lines of comfort eating or binging, then feeling guilty about it, and both of which then adds weight, rather than loses it. And then there’s the exercise thing, or lack of it, that I only have the impetus to do when I’m feeling good, yet my brain knows would be good for me to do especially when I don’t feel good. Yet another stick to beat myself with.

I also don’t like me as a person. I don’t think I’m horrible or anything, I just don’t think I’m particularly nice either. I do have friends, so there must be something about me that I’m not seeing, because I know for a fact they’re not friends with me for what I do for them, simply because I don’t do anything for them.
(And anybody reading this, I am not asking people to say they like me, just getting my thoughts out-there about how I feel about myself.)

And there may be some people reading this who question my right to call myself a Christian when I can articulate so clearly why I’m not worthy. I know God loves me. I know God died for me. I know God thinks I’m worth saving. Yet, I don’t know why God loves me? I can only assume it’s because of His infinite goodness, that He can like someone like me. I’m not a good person, and often am very self-absorbed. Whereas when I was younger I was only aware of “happy”, “sad” and “angry” (though happy was more neutral than elevated), now I am aware of many more negative emotions including boredom, jealousy, apathy, amongst others. I’m not a good Christian, and am fully reliant on God’s power to draw me to Him, as I don’t have the strength or willpower to do it myself.

Would I be friends with myself? Possibly, I don’t know. I think I would try to be friends with me, but I would doubt that the other-me wanted to be friends with me, itms. I don’t really know how to make friends, I just hang around and hope somebody will talk to me. At some point, they talk to me whenever they see me, and eventually we go out eating and drinking together and I think we’re friends. Similarly, however, I can lose friends unintentionally. I tend to continue thinking someone is my friend until they do something to make me think otherwise. For some friends, this is great, because it means that we can go weeks, months or years without seeing each other, and when we do, it’s like we’ve never left. Other friends, however, we slowly lose touch. Because I always assume that people don’t really like me (why would they – I don’t like me), I will try to keep in touch a couple of times, but if nothing comes of it then, I’ll think maybe I’m not getting the hint, so I’ll no longer contact them as I assume that’s what they want. Not least because the final time, I’ll specifically ask them to arrange whatever-it-is, so if they don’t, I know they don’t want to.

The other thing about making friends is that I don’t like small-talk and I don’t like saying things for the sake of it. Why can’t more people be comfortable with silence? Though I admit, I do find it funny when I can clearly see the other person is uncomfortable, and I’m not.

But back to liking myself, this is an area I do need to improve. A different friend recently gave me a notebook in which to write things I’m grateful for. I’m not going to share what I’m writing, but since receiving it, I have managed to find 3 things each day that I am grateful for. Sometimes something big and sometimes something small. I hope this will help my MH as it gives me something to look over when I’m feeling down.

And I have found a counsellor that I like. I did a trial session with her, and I have booked her from September, so hopefully that will be useful to. I don’t know if I could ever get to the point of loving myself, but liking myself would be good. I know I need to be kinder to myself, as I know I’m harder on myself than I am on other people, but that’s because, in my mind, I deserve it. Then maybe I can be more successful losing weight as I realise I deserve to treat myself right and feed myself the right foods, and move my body in ways that make me feel good.

Weekly Update No30

I've lost a bit more weight! Only about half a pound, but it all adds up.

I've had a good mental-health week, and so it is easy to lose weight, as I haven't really tried.  The main thing has been that when I didn't need a meal, I didn't eat.  Simple.  So last night, after having a big lunch, I only had a couple of slices of French bread for dinner.  And on Friday, even though I was looking forward to having a Miller and Carter Steak in the evening (my girls were out dancing, and my husband away with work, so I was looking forward to good food and a good book), I was again, too full from lunch, so rather than going out and spending money on a steak which I would then force down because I had paid for it, I stayed in instead.  (Admittedly I did eat a whole tub of ice cream in front of the TV, but it was one of those "150kCals in 1/2 a tub" ones, so I didn't feel guilty about eating the whole thing, because it would have been less calories than the steak dinner.)

I'm going on holiday later this week, all-inclusive, but am going to try and make sensible food choices.  Last year, I went away for a fortnight and didn't put on weight at all, despite eating whatever I wanted, and drinking most of the day as I followed the 2B Mindset.  I'd be happy to replicate that this time, though obviously it does depend what the buffet choices are.

Your wife is hot!

An advert for air conditioning has been banned because it was deemed sexist on two counts:

1. Features a woman, and is unrelated to air conditioning
2. It's clearly talking to a man, when anybody can buy air conditioning

The owner who designed the ad said "it's only a little bit of harmless fun".

In the BBC article, one of the complainants said "The subliminal message about society is that it's ok to comment on women's bodies, and comment on women's bodies as if they are the possession of someone else - 'your wife'.  It also gives the subliminal message that it's the man of the house that's responsible for getting the air conditioning fixed."

Now, I do agree that we, as a society, need to move away from commenting on women's bodies.  It is not healthy for anybody, whether you're the one gossiping, the one being gossiped about, or someone listening or overhearing the negativity.  Women have loads of shit they need to go through just because they are a woman, and women bitching about other women is not helpful.

However, I don't think this advert is sexist.  If anything were to change, I would recommend the woman wearing full jeans, rather than hotpants, but in all honesty, in weather like we're currently experiencing (it's 31C in my town, and my conservatory has had all doors and windows open all day, states it is 44C in there!) you'd be crazy to wear full jeans if you are comfortable in shorts. (I am currently wearing long trousers, but have pulled them up, so they're as good as shorts.)

As for the complaints, the woman is hot!  I am hot, and I would LOVE my house to have air conditioning.  Please, someone tell my husband that I am hot!  While the poster could have said something like "your wife is experiencing warmer than normal temperatures and desires to be cooled down" that wouldn't be as easily read on a poster, it isn't as catchy, and frankly it is a pun on the word 'hot'. Secondly, who says they're talking to a man?  Surely, it's more sexist to assume they're talking to a man, rather than assuming that this woman could have a wife? Or are you assuming that even if the woman does have a wife, she wouldn't be able to get air con fixed as only a man can do that?

The owner has says he's considering a second ad featuring the slogan "your husband is hot", but no doubt there would be complaints about that too, because 'why should a woman take care of a man', 'men can do things themselves', 'more mental load for women' etc etc. (Actually, I do think mental load is a real and exhausting thing, but you get the point.)

So, no, I don't think this advert is sexist.
If the advert actually discussed her body, or said she has to look a certain way to be desirable or to go to the beach, then yes, I wouldn't like that advert, but simply talking about her temperature? Nah.