Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Facebook. Show all posts

Wednesday 3 June 2020

Musings on Race and Privilege

I spent this morning talking to my 12yo daughter about the goings-on in the world.  It started about Coronavirus and the impact that is having on our lives, and evolved, as conversations do, to talking about the various protests around the world.

I have not watched the video of George Floyd's last moments.  The photos and articles written about it are horrific enough.  I know that I am in a privileged position that I am not confronted with racism nor police brutality on a daily basis.  I know that I am in a privileged position that the closest I get to racism is second-hand: it happens to friends and family, or their friends and their family.  It doesn't happen to me.  I can't understand what it feels to be the subject of overt and indirect racism.  When I hear people speak, an anecdote, short story, quick meme, I get the briefest of insight into a fraction of their lives.  As try as I might, though I may understand that moment, I cannot fully understand the impact it has on their lives.


My husband likes running.  He runs for fitness.  He runs for his mental health.  He runs to cope with Lockdown.  And I swear sometimes he runs just to get away from the kids! lol.  At the moment, it is very hot during the day, so he is running at night when it is cooler.

I don't like running.  Honestly, it's not for me. Five years ago a friend challenged me to "run the rainbow" with her for charity.  I used the Couch to 5K app and I did get up to running the 5K, and I did run the race and have various colour powder paints thrown at me.  It was fun.  I got my medal.  And that was that.  No more running for me, thanks!  However, sometimes I do feel slightly jealous that my husband runs in the evening.  I have never felt like I could do that.  As a woman, we have been taught since we were little not to go out at night.  That we could be attacked.  That it would be our fault for being out late.  For not wearing the right things.  For being alone.  And though I have been through the indestructible phase (late teens-mid 20s) where nobody and nothing can hurt you, after having children it is easy to become aware of all possible dangers, no matter how remote they may seem.  As such, a fat middle-aged woman, huffing and puffing just to traverse 5K alone at night, in my mind is a prime victim for being attacked as I wouldn't be able to run away.  So whether that fear is reasonable or unreasonable, I never ran at night.

I have a friend who recently shared a story on Facebook (though I had heard it before).  She is a white woman, and before she had kids lived in London with her partner, who bought her a dog.  One day, this dog tried to bite her, so she put in in a safe place, and called her partner asking for his help as he was on his way home from work.  When he got off the train, he ran home and she kept watching for him.  In her words:
But it appeared, I wasn’t the only one keeping my eye on him.
A police van happened to drive past this black man running. Put their lights on, put their sirens on and four of them jumped out to stop him.
He’d always asked me to stay out of things if police stopped him. It was something he was accustom to and he never wanted me to get involved.
...
I watched them put him in handcuffs and pat him down to search him whilst he stood there helpless. I remember the look on his face as he glimpsed me up at the window. The look of “look at this shit I have to deal with”.
They didn’t find anything.
But this wasn’t good enough for them.
They took him into the van.
At this point I was petrified! I ignored his request to stay away and I went outside to speak to the officers.
I asked one of them why they’d put him in the van and he told me they need to search him. I challenged him because I’d just watched them search him! ðŸ¤¬
He told me they needed to do a strip search because apparently in the Croydon borough there was an order in place that meant they could stop and search anyone they wanted to.
Can you imagine how he was feeling at this point? 5 minutes ago, he’d got off the train from a long day at work, and was rushing home to help me deal with our naughty dog and the next minute he’s being stripped searched in the back of a police van.
As I was talking to the officer, continuing to question what this “order” really meant, I’ll never forget what he said to me, whilst dodging all of my questions... “How do you know a prick like this anyway?” 
I can barely imagine what it must have been like for my friend, to see the way the police were treating the man you love simply because they were black.   I cannot imagine what it must be like for her black partner who is so used to receiving this kind of treatment, that they warn their white girlfriend ahead of time not to get involved if they see it happening.  I cannot imagine living in such a way that I wouldn't be allowed to run, if I had desire or need to.  I cannot imagine feeling like I can't walk around my own neighbourhood alone during the day.  I cannot imagine a boy of 10yo having already learned that he has to put his hands up in a neighbour's yard, when collecting a ball he accidentally kicked there.  I cannot imagine being a young boy, dressed as a superhero, held on my dad's shoulders, and have police point their guns at us.

This is not ok.  This needs to change.  And not just these overtly racist occurrences, but also the slight, discreet, indirect and subversive racism that makes up modern day society.

It is easy for me living in my town in the south of the UK to think this only happens in America, or it only happens in London, but systematic racism is prevalent in our society and it is not right.

I'm not going to patronise you by saying what you should or shouldn't be doing.  I'm only a white woman living a fairly comfortable life, commenting on what is happening to others, who hasn't got a fucking clue how to change society as a whole.  But I will tell you what I am doing.  I am going to educate myself and my children about direct and indirect racism.  I plan to read Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race and How to Argue with a Racist, amongst others.  I am going to use my voice and call out racism when I see it, and be gracious when people call me out on the systemic racism that I'm part of but barely aware of.  This article from 2016 says White Silence is Not an Option, yet not much has changed in the past four years.



I'm going to end by linking this BBC Article about why US protests are resonating in the UK and this 20min video about Trevor Noah's thoughts - well worth taking 20min out of your day to listen to it. (Trevor Noah was literally Born a Crime in South Africa because he is mixed race.  I reviewed his book last year.)

Here is a good list of books to educate your children and yourself.

Thursday 28 May 2020

The Collective Virtual Choir


This past month or so, I have been singing as part of The Collective.  The Collective is a Virtual Choir that describes itself as "An A Cappella Virtual Choir made up of singers from around the world. First started in 2020 during the Covid 19 Pandemic."
I saw an advert on Facebook that a friend shared, and it looked like fun.  It's a group of singers from all around the world, who are singing together, but separately, to make some music.

They did a project back in April ("back" - as if April was so long ago, lol) that I wasn't a part of, but gives you an idea of the type of thing we are working towards (as I'm not giving too many details until it is finished): White Cliffs of Dover by The Collective.

I had not realised that I missed singing, and it certainly does help with my mental health.  So, I have been learning a new song, learning new techniques and even learning how to self evaluate my own recordings by listening back to myself - something very scary when you've been told most your life that you can't/shouldn't sing.  I love singing, but this has stayed with me, so even though I do sing, I'm not convinced I'm any good at it.  During this experience, I have been brave and sung solo in front of strangers live, I have sent a recording of my voice part in for feedback, and this morning I have sent in my final recording to be included as part of The Collective.

The feedback I got almost made me cry - in a good way, I'm just not a cry-y person.

I'm not joking when I said that I have often been told I shouldn't sing.  When I was a child, I felt I didn't have support from family; I can remember friends laughing at me because I had perfected the art of miming to songs, and even though I did enjoy singing (even as a child) I can remember one friend telling me my voice was perfect for a choir but not for solos.  It took a lot of courage for me to join my Adult Musical Theatre group, though I haven't yet built up the courage to sing more than a few words by myself, I am hoping this experience with The Collective helps me to become more confident.  Even when practising this song, my kids say I'm embarrassing and my husband says I'm too loud because he is in meetings... 

This first song is nearly finished, and the next song is due to start next month.  I encourage everybody who enjoys singing to sing, whether it be at home, in a choir, or in a virtual group like this one. 
Sing and let your voice be heard!

Monday 25 May 2020

Weekly Update Y2w21

As I explained on my FB page (HERE), I have been really busy so forgot to update last week.

This week I'll give a quick update, though you don't really need me to describe the graph.

My weight was going down nicely, then I had my birthday.  It has taken longer than I hoped for my weight to stabilise again, but it it near enough stable and has started to decrease again.

As the weather is staying warm, we're having more BBQs - not a bad thing in itself, but I need to remember that I don't need to have bread with the burger, or alcohol, or the extra giant toasted marshmallow, or anything else that my family has.  That's not to say I can't have any of it, but I should ensure that I eat Veggies Most, and enjoy my treats as 'treats' and not 'normals'.

Monday 4 May 2020

Weekly Update Y2w18

Last week was a 'Meh' week.  If you follow my Facebook page I've been posting more regularly how I've been feeling.  As such I didn't do as much exercise as I had planned - only once in fact.  Luckily I'm being held to account by a friend and am texting her when I do exercise.  This week has barely started and I have already texted her to say I have done two body groove videos!  (Slightly confusingly for people I know irl, my weightloss week goes Monday-Monday, but my exercise week goes Friday-Friday. So I'm counting the exercise I did on Saturday as 'this week' because the bulk of the week is still ahead.  It makes sense to me, anyway, lol)

Last week's update I said I got below 92kilos for the first time; this week, I have been below 92kilos all week!  My lowest weight so far is 91.7kg, so only just below, but it still counts! I honestly don't mind if I don't make big strides with this weightloss malarkey, as long as I keep persevering.  Weightloss, then sustaining, then weightloss, then sustaining, hopefully means that I will develop habits to last a lifetime.  I'm still learning to rely on God to help me as I'm beginning to see that I don't have the willpower in myself to lose weight - otherwise I would have done it already, and not be in week 18 of year 2!  I *know* all the things already, the science, the psychology, the quick tips and tricks that can aide me along the way.  What I am learning this time, however, is that reliance on God is a form of self-discipline that I *can* do with his help.

I'm due to finish the book I've been using on this journey this week, so will write it up then.  I hope my weightloss continues as I try and put what I've learned into practice - including increasing my exercise!

Wednesday 22 April 2020

Mental Health due to Coronavirus

So far, I have been fine.  Honestly.  I'm quite happy sat at home pottering about.  I do miss seeing people face to face, and giving friends a hug when it's needed, but we do our best using Zoom, Houseparty, Facebook, Skype, Messenger etc.

My family, otoh, suffer more with anxiety so I have been busy supporting them where I can. Everyone is more stressed, and my daughter who is excelling at school, is finding it difficult to learn online. I tell her to take breaks, but she is worried about getting in trouble (thankfully her teachers seem understanding).  DD1 wrote this poem instead of doing her school work the other day, and it has a depth of feeling that amazed me.  DD2 is worried about my husband and me dying.  And my husband is stressing about work and the fact we're trapped in the house.  Yes he can go shopping (he won't go out more than once a week), and yes he goes for a long run daily, but when he's stressed he likes to leave the house and go to the beach or visit someone or go to the cinema or any of the other stuff that we can't do right now.

I've been calm, making the most of the slowing down of daily life and the sunshine in the garden.  I've been reading more than usual, doing a new MosaiCraft, and I have even started doing Pilates on BodyGroove.  Life has been good to me - until this morning.

Due to having the BRCA1+ genetic mutation, I have an annual mammogram and MRI to check I don't have cancer.  This is usually in February, and when I didn't hear anything, I assumed it was because it had been deprioritised due to coronavirus.  Last week I had a call inviting me to screening today, and that I'd get a letter through the post.  Despite having received a letter from the NHS/Council saying that I need to shield myself for 12 weeks, this is important so I accepted the appointment.  My husband wasn't happy, but with everything I have read and seen about coronavirus, I would make sure I took adequate precautions and everything would be ok.  I bought some disposable gloves, have wetwipes to wipe down surfaces in the car, made a face-mask from a bandana and hairbands and have antibac gel.

Then this morning it hits me - I am going to the place they take everybody with coronavirus.  Doctors and nurses who have PPE have died at this hospital after contracting it, and I am willingly walking into this environment.  My rational brain knows that they wouldn't have called me to the appointment if it were dangerous, but that part of my brain went into hiding.  I was worried.  Thankfully a friend talked with me and helped put things into perspective and making me laugh (I don't know if you can see the skulls on the bandana, but it was suggested I carry a scythe too.  I don't have a scythe, but do have a garden hoe, and my husband's scholar's gown from Oxford that would complete the look!). Haha.

In the end, I went to the hospital.  I couldn't wear the mask, as though it didn't when I tried it at home, it kept steaming my glasses up.  I wore gloves going to the appointment (not during the MRI) and antibac-ed my hands every time I went through a door.  And when I returned to the car, I wiped my handbag down, and also the car steering wheel/radio/seatbelt/indicators/doorhandle etc when I returned home again.  Now I'm back home, I'm calm again.  I immediately changed my clothes and put them in the wash, washed my hands and face again.  It may be overkill, but I don't want to be responsible for bringing the virus to my family.

This has made me realise how brave loads of our workers are in this country.  I only had to go to hospital for an appointment that took less than 90min.  There are men and women who daily have to go to hospital to care for others, to treat others, to clean the wards where people have died or are dying, maintenance people who ensure all the equipment is running smoothly, people in the kitchens making sure staff and patients are fed, receptionists who are the first faces you see when you go to the hospital or to the department, and then the morticians who are encountering large numbers of people who are dying from the virus.  God bless you all.

I'm back home and am going to stay safe and stay here until the coronavirus has past.  I know at some point I will encounter the virus (it is inevitable) and I hope initially that I don't suffer badly, but also that it will be after the peak of this pandemic has passed.

Friday 20 March 2020

Feeling sad tonight

Seeing all the posts on Facebook about friends' children who cannot sit exams this year.

DD1 coming home from school today, really emotional.  She's only been in school for two terms, and is sad to be leaving her friends for the next 3 months or so.

Dancing has ended tonight, and though they will be offering online lessons it won't be the same.  The girls will miss their friends, and DD2 has already asked if she can skype some of her dance friends.  DD1 has asked if she can get WhatsApp on her phone, even though she's not 16 yet.  I'm also going to miss the other dance mums. 

Similarly, we've received an email to say gymnastics is stopped for the foreseeable.

All home ed clubs and meets have stopped.  I'm good friends with the home ed mums too, so will miss them lots.

My singing class has stopped. 

Everything has stopped.

Hopefully it's just tonight, and tomorrow I'll be back to thinking it's a big adventure.

I am looking forward to spending time with my family.
And social media can help keep in contact with friends and family who live further afield.
We're blessed to live in a time when we have such technology and information available to us.

Sunday 15 December 2019

People are funny

...weird, that is, not funny haha.  Though I am laughing about it all.  Luckily I'm in a good place mentally, so I can laugh about it; otherwise I fear what it would have done to my mental health.

In this blog I have posted much about my life, on lots of different topics.  I know I swerve from 'the norm' on some things - I'm a Christian, I home educate, I consider myself a naturist, and most recently I voted against the winners of the general election.  Within this blog, though I generally use it for book reviews and for tracking my failure to lose weight, I have posted the occasional more controversial topic.  Yet, it is a post that I thought was pretty middle of the road that has caused a bigger reaction than I expected!

I posted this directly on my Facebook Page in response to the result of the election.  I admit that my tongue was in my cheek when I suggested that the electorate were stupid, selfish or both, but did use the qualifier 'may' and pointed out that it's an opinion not a fact.
The rest of the post, however, was talking about how to help people in the coming days, months and years because I think a Tory government is not good for society, and does not have people's (especially poor people's) best interests at heart.
Finally, as I get prompted by FB on every post I write, I thought this may be a relevant one to actually add a donate button to.  I don't know you, I am not telling you you must donate, I am not saying reading my blog is on the condition of donating, but is something you could choose to do should you wish.  I chose the Trussell Trust because it is an organisation that has food banks nationally around the country.  I could have chosen a food bank that was local to me, but given that I know I have readers all around the country, and indeed around the world, I figured they wouldn't care about a food bank in my little town.

At time of writing, this post on FB has currently got 114 reactions (yey!), 57 comments, and 17 shares!  I naively thought that if people didn't like what I had to say (though as I've said, I didn't think it was controversial) they'd just scroll past and ignore.  There's so much that comes up on my FB newsfeed, that even from pages that I usually like, there is the odd post that doesn't resonate so I simply move on.  If it's a page I haven't 'liked' on FB, unless there was something absolutely ridiculous and needs refuting, if I don't agree with a post I'll either scroll past or at worst, hide it from my newsfeed.

You can probably tell where I'm going with this!  when I woke up Saturday morning, I was surprised to see that I had upset someone by choosing the Trussell Trust to donate to.  In that thread of conversation I was repeatedly told "you really are an idiot"; a different person said "coming to your page with insults, you started your diatribe with the very same insults, because you and millions of other moaners lost an election."  though in an interesting twist these two people then started arguing with each other.  Other comments, in response to my post: "Accept the result and stop preaching to the rest of us. You come across narrow minded, judgemental and bigoted."  being a Christian, I've sat in my fair share of sermons, and reckon I could preach with the best of them; this wasn't it.  Here I was just trying to suggest that people are kind to each other - clearly I failed! Finally (again, at point of writing), I'm told "You are stupid and selfish." Not one to normally boast, but having a Masters degree in Engineering Science from the University of Oxford (and I do have friends who read this blog, who were at uni with me - I'm not lying), I can categorically say I am not stupid.  I may not understand some things, or may lack knowledge in certain areas, but I hold my hands up and am honest if that is the case.  Similarly, I don't think I'm selfish [often. I think everyone, including me, is selfish at times.  I try my best to override that part of myself, and with God's help, I can manage it sometimes], nor do I think it selfish of me to say that we should be kind and love one another.  Surely that's common sense and part of being a good person?

Oh well, you live and learn.  People are funny weird, and I can laugh at it all.

Edited to add some more comments:
Very funny! Begging for our money to line your own pocket, just like many others! Try working for your money like we do!  As much as I wish I was paid for writing my opinions, I'm not, so receive all this abuse for free.
 if you want people to be kind how about giving it a go your self!   In reaction to not understanding the words 'may' or 'just an opinion'.
Your post insults a lot of hard working, decent people   Other than a tongue in cheek comment, that already has been clarified, I fail to see where I have insulted people, but suggesting a few things.

Oh well, you can't please everyone!

Thursday 10 October 2019

Praying For Your Children by Towns and Earley

I got this book, Praying for your Children, after it was temporarily listed for free on Amazon.  I'm a member of a Facebook group that shares Christian e-books (both fiction and non-fiction) when they are under a dollar, or free.

As someone who does not have the prayer life that I feel I should have (though it is getting better, especially the smaller, impromptu prayers, just relying on God throughout the day) I thought this would be a good book to help me to help my children to pray.

With my girls, I have always said a set prayer with them at bedtime from when they were little:
God, Our Father, I've come to say
Thank you for your love today.
Thank you for my family
And all the friends you give to me.
Guard me in the dark of night
And in the morning, send your light.  Amen.

DD1 now considers herself an atheist, so doesn't want me praying with her any more.
DD2, otoh, is happy for me to pray this prayer with her, and we have started adding our own prayers at the end of it.  Though she often wants me to say the prayers on her behalf, I'm trying to encourage her to talk to God directly.

The blurb for this book says:
Filled with easy-to-follow advice and biblically sound suggestions, Praying for Your Children gives parents and those who love children the tools to make an eternal difference in their lives.

Authors Dr. Elmer Towns and Dr. Dave Earley share how and what to pray to bring your children closer to God. Defined are the roles and responsibilities of parents in raising children who learn to rely on God for their strength and power to be victorious in any situation.
Stressing the importance of starting early, actual prayers are shared that children can memorize. Biblical parents and their prayers are also highlighted, providing excellent examples of how praying for children pleases God to answer.
You don't have to be a great spiritual prayer warrior for God to answer your prayers for your children. The secret is God. You donÕt get great answers because youÕre more spiritual than others, or because youÕve prayed longer or better. The secret is God! The simplest prayer launched with the simplest faith can set the wheels of Heaven in motion.
Trust Him to do great things for your children.
Personally, I found some of the suggestions to be a bit formulaic (as in 'if you do this, then God will listen'), however, this book is still worth reading (especially if you can get it for free!) because there is lots of encouragement within.  Dispersed throughout the text are lots of small prayers for you to say, asking God to help you praying for your children, and at the end, there are some set-prayers that you can use too.  When I was growing up, my mum said a prayer with my sister and I before bed, and I can barely remember it now, though I recognise it when I see/hear it. And it was in this book, so that made me smile, too (though it listed two different endings, and I can't remember which it was my mum used to say, but think it was the first one).

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep:
May God guard me through the night
And wake me with the morning light.  Amen

or

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.

Wednesday 2 October 2019

Difficult Questions

Last Wednesday I saw my therapist and we had a big discussion about intrinsic value and self-worth.  I can see value in other people.  Other people have value just by being who they are. When thinking about myself, however, I don't see things like that at all.  I often think I have no value, unless I am doing something for other people.  I know in my head that God loves me and He sees value in me, but I struggle to believe it.  And yet, who am I to argue or disbelieve the Almighty? So my therapist has challenged me to write something I like or value about myself each day.

Then, that evening, at my church's growth group, we are using Discipleship Explored and this week we were asked the question "what do you live for?" and more specifically, "what would your friends say you live for?".  My gut-feel when answering this question was My Girls, though ideally, I should be putting God first (and yes, that is hard for me to explain to somebody who doesn't believe in God). But, I was interested to see what my friends would say.  So, I decided to ask them.
Overall, I'm quite pleased with the response that I've had.  A few people did contact me to ask if I was ok and whether I'm feeling depressed atm, which was very kind of them to think of me and my well-being.  I am ok (I wouldn't be able to ask the questions if I wasn't), and it made me feel loved.
Other people did answer the questions, so was interesting to see their point of view.  I am hoping that people will continue to reply to me privately, as it is really interesting.

Monday 9 September 2019

Weekly Update No36

My weight is coming down again - yey!  I'm not doing anything that radical, other than only eating when I'm hungry (yes, I know it's obvious, but after years of conditioning that I should eat at certain times, I should finish what's on my plate, and if you're happy (celebrate) or sad (commiserate) you do so with food, it's a hard habit to break).

I've been quite busy recently too.  Between getting back into the dance habit, getting into the school habit, helping with homework, helping friends, and trying to get on top of my mess of a house and home educate my youngest, there has not always been time for what I want to do - including updating this blog and my FB page.

On the good side, my mental health has been improving recently, and I have my first proper meeting with the therapist this week, so that should help.  I've not been able to read as much as I like, as I don't have as much free time as I did.  Previously I could read for 30min or so whilst waiting for the girls' dance lessons to finish, whereas now I'm having to drop DD2 off, rush back home to pick up DD1 after school, bring DD2 back home and then either go to work or somewhere else.

I've finally finished catching up on the latest series of The Handmaid's Tale on TV (The book is excellent, I highly recommend it.  The TV series started following the book, but later series, the TV-plot has gone further) and I want to watch the latest series of The 100 which has recently started back on TV.  That's not forgetting I still haven't had time to watch Stranger Things or Orange Is The New Black.  All of which is not help by me being tired and going to bed early so I have some hope in getting up in time for DD1 to go to school in the morning.

Which brings me back round to my weight - the only other new thing I'm doing is that I've started drinking a cup of [gingerbread] coffee [with caramel syrup] in the morning, and having a small bowl of porridge, which staves off hunger until lunchtime or beyond.

Saturday 31 August 2019

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

A friend shared this diagram on facebook, as a commentary on our current political situation.  Having read Nineteen Eighty-Four, Brave New World and A Handmaid's Tale, I may have accidentally on purpose shown DD2 the Buy Now/1-Click Button on Amazon and whoops, it arrived in my Kindle...

The Blurb says:
The hauntingly prophetic classic novel set in a not-too-distant future where books are burned by a special task force of firemen. Guy Montag is a fireman. His job is to burn books, which are forbidden, being the source of all discord and unhappiness. Even so, Montag is unhappy; there is discord in his marriage. Are books hidden in his house? The Mechanical Hound of the Fire Department, armed with a lethal hypodermic, escorted by helicopters, is ready to track down those dissidents who defy society to preserve and read books. The classic novel of a post-literate future, 'Fahrenheit 451' stands alongside Orwell's '1984' and Huxley's 'Brave New World' as a prophetic account of Western civilization's enslavement by the media, drugs and conformity. Bradbury's powerful and poetic prose combines with uncanny insight into the potential of technology to create a novel which over fifty years from first publication, still has the power to dazzle and shock.
I did not know the story before I started reading the book, and as a book loving person, I hate the idea of burning books.  Even if you disagree with the book, they should be kept.  But it was timely as it reinforced that maybe Biblical Storytelling should make a comeback as a mainstream tool for Evangelism and sharing God's Word?

Though I don't think the book is suitable to young children, my DD2 was interested in what was happening, so every couple of chapters I would paraphrase the plot so she could understand.

One of the central things in the book is the idea that people don't need to think anymore, just have a TV the size of a wall (or instead of one) and have multiple screens competing for your attention all the time, and you will be 'happy'.  Books are not good for you because they encourage thinking, interpretation, and potentially bad conversations, whereas if you spend all your time only talking about superficial things like what happened in the latest reality TV series with your virtual 'family', then that is just fine.  The TV will tell you everything you ever need to know, and you should not question it, else you dare to feel bad emotions.

This is a must-read for anyone who is interested in the counter balance between a dystopian future and the reality we currently find ourselves.

Thursday 29 August 2019

Stories Aren't Just For Kids by Christine Dillon

I read this book over the summer, and really enjoyed it, even though I hadn't considered storytelling at all (would you have guessed I prefer reading books? lol).

The blurb says:
In a world increasingly anti-Christian, how can you communicate in a way that slides under listener's defences? How can you leave them hungry for more? 
Stories are God-designed way to impact hearts. 
But many Christians reject stories as just for kids. Christine Dillon has trained thousands of people in storytelling. 10 myths come up over and over again, and they block Christians from using this life-changing ministry tool. 
MYTH 1: Adults won’t listen to stories
MYTH 2: Stories are only for non-literate cultures 
MYTH 3: Men won’t listen to stories ...
MYTH 6: Storytelling won’t grow mature disciples
MYTH 8: Storytelling will lead to heresy ... 

Using stories from around the world Dillon tackles each myth and challenges you to master this tool. 

Christine Dillon is a Bible storyteller and trainer who works in Asia and Australia. Her book, Telling the Gospel Through Story: Evangelism that keeps hearers hungry for more (IVP, 2012) has inspired many to start telling the greatest story of them all.

Having read the book, I think storytelling is a pretty impressive tool to use, not least because it was how the Bible was passed from person to person in years gone by.  There is a website and a Facebook group for anyone wanting to find out more. 

I'm not in a place, right now, to be able to learn or make use of this book, but, I am very glad I have read it (and have made a note of it) so I can come back to it in the future.  I particularly liked Christine's idea of praying before every holiday/trip, in order to meet someone with whom to share your relationship with God; something I will try to do in future.  It was very inspirational.

Tuesday 30 July 2019

Why don’t I like myself?


Recently a friend recently received some abuse because she posts a lot of selfies on her FB newsfeed. Now this friend does read this blog, so I hope you don’t mind me mentioning this. I luv ya lots xx
She was asked whether she posted because she ‘needed the likes’ and had apparently had ‘offended his beliefs’; and she came back with a brilliant explanation (not that she needed to) of why she does what she does, posts what she wants, because her body is a miracle that she is proud of. To quote her “So here it is, for likes and comments, my magical, amazing, miraculous, super strength body, on display, thin, chubby, pregnant, scandily[sic] clad, wrapped up and glitter dusted. I am not ashamed anymore and neither should you be of your magical skin sock.”
This friend has been through her fair share of shit in her time, and has come through stronger than ever. She is a fabulous woman, and I would love to learn to like myself like that.

I don’t like my body. It does what it needs to do (and my dislike isn’t enough to stop be going nude on a naturist beach – you don’t like it, don’t look!) but it’s not fit and it’s not healthy. Since going into surgical menopause, by waist has gotten wider and my stomach larger, yet I still have my huge hips and thunder thighs to match, so I’m big all over.  And I mention regularly that I need to lose weight and get my BMI below 30 (preferable below 25) before I can have the mastectomy I want.

I am very aware of the link between the state of my mental health and my ability to lose weight. I want to lose weight, but when my MH is low, I self-sabotage and I’m becoming aware that I self-harm too. Not in any overt way, but little things like not brushing my teeth, or washing clothes as often as I should. And the self-sabotage is usually along the lines of comfort eating or binging, then feeling guilty about it, and both of which then adds weight, rather than loses it. And then there’s the exercise thing, or lack of it, that I only have the impetus to do when I’m feeling good, yet my brain knows would be good for me to do especially when I don’t feel good. Yet another stick to beat myself with.

I also don’t like me as a person. I don’t think I’m horrible or anything, I just don’t think I’m particularly nice either. I do have friends, so there must be something about me that I’m not seeing, because I know for a fact they’re not friends with me for what I do for them, simply because I don’t do anything for them.
(And anybody reading this, I am not asking people to say they like me, just getting my thoughts out-there about how I feel about myself.)

And there may be some people reading this who question my right to call myself a Christian when I can articulate so clearly why I’m not worthy. I know God loves me. I know God died for me. I know God thinks I’m worth saving. Yet, I don’t know why God loves me? I can only assume it’s because of His infinite goodness, that He can like someone like me. I’m not a good person, and often am very self-absorbed. Whereas when I was younger I was only aware of “happy”, “sad” and “angry” (though happy was more neutral than elevated), now I am aware of many more negative emotions including boredom, jealousy, apathy, amongst others. I’m not a good Christian, and am fully reliant on God’s power to draw me to Him, as I don’t have the strength or willpower to do it myself.

Would I be friends with myself? Possibly, I don’t know. I think I would try to be friends with me, but I would doubt that the other-me wanted to be friends with me, itms. I don’t really know how to make friends, I just hang around and hope somebody will talk to me. At some point, they talk to me whenever they see me, and eventually we go out eating and drinking together and I think we’re friends. Similarly, however, I can lose friends unintentionally. I tend to continue thinking someone is my friend until they do something to make me think otherwise. For some friends, this is great, because it means that we can go weeks, months or years without seeing each other, and when we do, it’s like we’ve never left. Other friends, however, we slowly lose touch. Because I always assume that people don’t really like me (why would they – I don’t like me), I will try to keep in touch a couple of times, but if nothing comes of it then, I’ll think maybe I’m not getting the hint, so I’ll no longer contact them as I assume that’s what they want. Not least because the final time, I’ll specifically ask them to arrange whatever-it-is, so if they don’t, I know they don’t want to.
The other thing about making friends is that I don’t like small-talk and I don’t like saying things for the sake of it. Why can’t more people be comfortable with silence? Though I admit, I do find it funny when I can clearly see the other person is uncomfortable, and I’m not.

But back to liking myself, this is an area I do need to improve. A different friend recently gave me a notebook in which to write things I’m grateful for. I’m not going to share what I’m writing, but since receiving it, I have managed to find 3 things each day that I am grateful for. Sometimes something big and sometimes something small. I hope this will help my MH as it gives me something to look over when I’m feeling down.

And I have found a counsellor that I like. I did a trial session with her, and I have booked her from September, so hopefully that will be useful to. I don’t know if I could ever get to the point of loving myself, but liking myself would be good. I know I need to be kinder to myself, as I know I’m harder on myself than I am on other people, but that’s because, in my mind, I deserve it. Then maybe I can be more successful losing weight as I realise I deserve to treat myself right and feed myself the right foods, and move my body in ways that make me feel good.

Monday 15 July 2019

Weekly Update No28

No weight loss this week.  Quelle surprise.

Sometimes I wonder if I should give up on pretending to lose weight, but I know that I need to in order to have the surgery I want in a few years time.

Yes, this is how I started last week's update, because I need to do everything I said I was going to do last week.

My MH dropped at the end of last week.  Not because of my failure to lose weight, but that contributed to it.  I feel like a fraud and that I don't have any worth.  

On the positive side, I actually called out for help - in a way.  I put a vague status update on FB asking for prayers.  But I did get the help and validation I needed and I feel better this morning.  It's easy to pretend, especially on social media, but we all need help sometimes.  Me especially. I can't even answer "how are you?" honestly, even if I know the other person would want to hear the truth.

I am drinking smoothies for lunches, and I have been all week.  I do tend to get really hungry around 5pm, though, which is when I crave foods not conducive to weightloss, and to which I have been giving in too easily.  I need to get back to meal planning properly.  My cleaner has come back now, so my kitchen is reasonably clean, which means I don't really have an excuse not to cook more.

Friday 7 June 2019

Women beaten up on London bus

It has been widely reported today about two lesbians who were beaten up because they refused to kiss in front of some men. 

Much of the media have reported this as a homophobic attack, and whilst I'm not saying that's wrong (it certainly has a part to play in the attack), the more I think about it, the more I agree with Laura Dodsworth that this is more than homophobia.  The sad truth, is that homophobic attacks are on the rise, and many men and women get harassed and abused because of their sexuality and it not get reported in the news.  In this case, however, these women were attacked because they were unwilling to be sexual play things for those men. 

Porn pervades our culture.  Sex sells. Girls should grow up to be pretty and compliant.  And if you men come across some lesbians, why wouldn't they become performing monkeys to cater for your sexual needs?  Women need to learn their place, and if they won't gratify men sexually, of course they need to be taught a lesson or two. 

One commentator on the radio said that homophobia is increasing all the time, and I'm not sure that's the whole story.  I was discussing this with my husband, and we remember the 80s and 90s when it was still not 'cool' to admit you're gay, being gay was still considered a joke and there were many homosexual slurs as part of 'normal' conversation.  Times have, thankfully, moved on and the insults are rightly seen as being offensive (one of the reasons why hate speech has increased, is because it is more easily identified compared to decades ago).  For some years, society had, on-the-whole, learned to think about what it was saying, giving more thought to others, and being more aware of insults and offensiveness.  What has changed more recently, imo, is that those who condemn or insult are becoming more vocal and more mainstream.  People who used to make comments under their breath or behind an alias, feel more comfortable stating their opinions in every day conversation or on social media.  Free speech is being used as an excuse to insult, belittle, bully and spread hatred.

It is not helped by those in power, and those who want to be, <cough> Trump <cough> Farage <cough> Johnson <cough> Misogynist pigs <ahem> showing the world similar opinions and actions, and being lauded for it.  Women are being attacked on all sides at the moment.  America's abortion ban is yet another way women no longer have control over their own bodies.  Abortion is a controversial and highly personal and emotive topic, that I don't want to get into the rights and wrongs of in this discussion (I will discuss my views in a later date), but by restricting women's right to medical care, just means that those women who are likely to abort will be more at risk of injury, disease and death.  And we cannot be smug here in the UK, as abortion is illegal in Northern Ireland, and ever-so-slowly, more and more parental rights are being taken away by the state as parents (especially mothers) are deemed incompetent and that the "experts" know better...

So whilst I add my voice to those who condemn the physical attack on these lesbians, it is not just an attack on those who identify as homosexual, but an attack on all women, and we should call it out as it is. 


Thursday 11 April 2019

Comparing HE Guidance for LAs and Parents

I have been asked a few times whether the new guidance for LAs and that for Parents means that current home educators have to do anything different to what they're currently doing; especially because advice up until now has been to keep everything in writing, preferably avoiding visits at all, and if you're under the radar - stay there.

Trying to answer this question, made me realise that I haven't actually compared the two documents - so I'm going to attempt that now.  As a recap, here were my initial thoughts about the guidance for LAs, but as I haven't gone through the guidance for parents explicitly, I will do that here.
In an attempt to make it easier to determine which guidance I'm talking about, I will colour quotes from guidance for LAs in Red, and quotes from the guidance for Parents in Green.
(I apologise to anyone reading this who are red/green colour blind. I will endeavour to try and make it as clear as possible to which I'm referring from the text too.)

This is a shorter document, than that for LAs, at only 24 pages.

The guidance starts by saying:
This is departmental guidance from the Department for Education. It is non-statutory, and has been produced to help parents understand their obligations and rights in relation to elective home education.
...
The guidance represents the department’s view as to the way in which the current legal framework affects the provision of home education. It does not create new powers or duties, and only the courts can make authoritative decisions on the law.
Given that there is no duty for HErs to be on a register, to accept visits, or to be monitored by the LA, I do question the thought that it does not create new powers or duties.

Section 2.4 says:
2.4 You may also decide to exercise your right to educate your child at home from a very early stage, before he or she reaches compulsory school age. There are no requirements in that case as to the content of any home education provided - since there is no legal requirement for any education to take place at all, although state-funded places of between 15 and 30 hours a week would normally be available in early years settings for children of an appropriate age. 
Whilst state-funded places are often available for preschoolers, it is not compulsory for them to be taken up.  Many schooled-children are kept at home until they start at Reception.  Similarly, some children who are never going to go to school, accept the state-funded places and stay their until they are CSA (Compulsory School Age, ie the term after their 5th birthday).

Section 2.6:
Conversely, it is possible to deliver a suitable education very inefficiently.
You mean like school!?! Doo-da-doo <walks away whistling>


Section 2.7:
2.7 There is no legal definition of “full-time” in terms of education at home, or at school. Children attending school normally have about five hours tuition a day for 190 days a year, spread over about 38 weeks. However, home education does not have to mirror this. In any case, in elective home education there is often almost continuous one-to-one contact and education may sometimes take place outside normal “school hours”. 

5hrs x 190 days = 2hrs 36min every day of the year.
I'm glad it has said that home education does not have to mirror this, because it is arguable that schools do not even achieve this.  Monkeymum has done a detailed breakdown of the time spent in schools, and it comes down to 51min every day of the year!  In fact, I've seen a similar calculation on a blog (that I can't find right now), that says if you were to do school-at-home, and teach the national curriculum as set out in teacher's plans, it would take a maximum of 2 hrs a day, right up to GCSE level!
I like the quote at the end of MonkeyMum's post: "As I said earlier, I’m not anti-school. 51 minutes per day, actively learning, sounds brilliant to me. But what about all the other hours spent in school?
Our family time is too precious for that."
Sections 2.8 and 2.9 say:
2.8 Home-educating parents are not required to:
• have a timetable
• set hours during which education will take place
• observe school hours, days or terms
2.9 In practice, the question of whether education for a specific child is full-time will depend on the facts of each case; but you as parents should at least be able to quantify and demonstrate the amount of time for which your child is being educated. Education which clearly is not occupying a significant proportion of a child’s life (making due allowance for holiday periods) will probably not meet the s.7 requirement. 
This is worrying, from an Unschooling point of view.  If your home education looks like school-at-home, or is eclectic, so you have some structured time, as well as free learning, it will be very easy to quantify how much time is spent on learning/education.  However, if your approach to HE is a whole life approach, where there is no distinction between work or play or anything else, and specifically if it is child-led, this will be more difficult to do.
Swapping briefly to the Guidance for LAs, Section 2.4 says:
Many home educating families do follow a clear academic and time structure but it should not be assumed that a different approach which rejects conventional schooling and its patterns is unsatisfactory, or constitutes ‘unsuitable’ education. Approaches such as autonomous and self-directed learning, undertaken with a very flexible stance as to when education is taking place, should be judged by outcomes, not on the basis that a different way of educating children must be wrong.
Where is the need to account for each hour of education coming from, if it is not coming from the guidance for LAs?  In fact, the word "quantify" is not in the LA's guidance at all!

 Back to the Parent's Guidance, Section 2.10 says:
More generally, you should bear in mind that: a. even if there is no specific link with the National Curriculum or other external curricula, there should be an appropriate minimum standard which is aimed at, and the education should aim at enabling the child, when grown-up, to function as an independent citizen in the UK - and furthermore, beyond the community in which he or she was brought up, if that is the choice made in later life by the child
 And yet, this "appropriate minimum standard" is not defined anywhere.  Again, going back to LAs guidance, section 9.4b says:
b. notwithstanding (a), the home education provision does not need to follow specific examples such as the National Curriculum, or the requirement in academy funding agreements for a ‘broad and balanced’ curriculum, nor the independent school standards prescribed by the Secretary of State

So, if HE provision is not required to meet independent school standards, what is the minimum standard that needs to be aimed at, and how can that be monitored or assessed or quantified for those home educators who live their learning?

Section 2.10 c says:
c. local authorities may use minimum expectations for literacy and numeracy in assessing suitability,
so again, referring to some minimum expectations, which are not quantified. I am not bringing up these points because I think home educators should be free to kick back and not learn anything; on the contrary, I personally still love learning and enjoy getting more and more qualifications under my belt.  However, if the suitability of education is to be judged on "outcomes", as in the 2.4 quote above from the guidance for LAs, that can only occur at the end of the time of education.  If we can refocus, so stop thinking of education as occurring only at school, but is indeed truly life long, it could change our whole society. 
Personally, I'd prefer 18yos to come out of "education" having no qualifications, but a desire and aptitude to learn more, rather than coming out with a hands full of qualification that they then chuck to one side because they are "fed up with learning" or "learning is boring", and being unable or unwilling to learn as they live their lives.  But that's just me.

Section 2.10d:
d. education may not be ‘suitable’ even if it is satisfactory in terms of content and teaching, if it is delivered in circumstances which make it very difficult to work (for example in very noisy premises). This might also affect whether it is ‘efficient’ and indeed, whether it is ‘received’ at all for the purposes of s.7; 
Dare I mention schools again?  With 30+ kids? No TA? I even have a friend who teaches primary and is covering 2 classes because the other teacher went on maternity leave, and the school has been unable to fill that post!

e. education may also not deemed suitable if it leads to excessive isolation from the child’s peers, and thus impedes social development. 

Unlike schools, who put "disruptive" children into isolation for hours, days or weeks, without identifying or managing any underlying cause.

Section 2.11 I'm including because it is a good thing, and reminiscent of section 3.13 of the old Guidelines for LAs:
2.11 There are no legal requirements for you as parents educating a child at home to do any of the following:
• acquire specific qualifications for the task
• have premises equipped to any particular standard
• aim for the child to acquire any specific qualifications
• teach the National Curriculum
• provide a ‘broad and balanced’ curriculum 
• make detailed lesson plans in advance
• give formal lessons
• mark work done by the child
• formally assess progress, or set development objectives
• reproduce school type peer group socialisation
• match school-based, age-specific standards 
For comparison, the OLD guidelines said:
Home educating parents are not required to:
teach the National Curriculum
provide a broad and balanced education
have a timetable
have premises equipped to any particular standard
set hours during which education will take place
have any specific qualifications
make detailed plans in advance
observe school hours, days or terms
give formal lessons
mark work done by their child formally
assess progress or set development objectives
reproduce school type peer group socialisation
match school-based, age-specific standards. 
In the new guidance for LAs, this list is no longer there in this format but all the points are there within the paragraphs and text.

Section 2.12:
2.12 However, many home-educating families do some of these, at least, by choice. Furthermore, it is likely to be much easier for you to show that the education provided is suitable if attention has been paid to the breadth of the curriculum and its content, and the concepts of progress and assessment in relation to your child’s ability.
So, even though we don't have to follow the NC, don't have to provide a broad and balanced curriculum, don't have to mark work, don't have to assess progress and don't have to set development objections, home educators are being advised it'll be "much easier"  for us, should we do all this...

Section 2.13 says:
You should, however, consider whether home education is realistically possible in your family’s particular circumstances, and if your child is happy to be educated in this way. The local authority may wish to gain the child’s opinion on the suitability of the home education received (as distinct to the question of the child’s preference for being educated at home rather than at school), as this can be relevant to any decision it needs to make on whether the s.7 requirements are met.
I do wonder if Ofsted actually asks any school children whether they think their school education received is suitable?  After a quick google, I can see that Ofsted asks the opinions of some parents (I don't know whether any parent can reply, or if they are chosen?) but not asking the children directly.


Section 3.1 ends:
 Also consider whether home education is in your child’s overall best interests, including social development.
Because of course, all HE kids are kept locked under the stairs, have no friends, and don't know how to socialise.  <eye roll>

Most of the rest of Section 3 isn't too bad, as it seems to be trying to prevent off-rolling, and advising against temporary HE for the wrong reasons (though it considers changing school to be a bad reason, whereas I think home educating whilst you are waiting for a preferred school place isn't necessarily a bad thing, assuming you are home educating during that time).
What it doesn't do, however, is recommend that you talk to other home educating families whilst you are still in the 'considering' stage.  I would consider this vital (much more so than contacting the LA), as other families can share what HE is really like, can advise what groups and meets are local, and in all honesty, are going to be much more supportive than the LA ever will.

Section 3.8 says:
3.8 In summary, therefore, as parents you should consider:
a. why are you thinking of educating your child at home?
b. what does your child think about the idea?
c. do you have the time, resources and ability to teach your child properly?
d. is your home suitable for undertaking teaching and learning, in terms of noise, space and general environment?
e. What support do you as parents have from others? What would happen if you were unable, perhaps through illness, to provide teaching for your child for a period of time?
f. can you provide social experiences, access to cultural and aesthetic experiences and physical exercise, to help your child develop?
g. Do you envisage educating your child at home for the whole of their time of compulsory school age, or only temporarily? What are your long term intentions for the education of your child?


I question (c) "ability to teach your child properly".  Section 2.11 has already said you don't need specific qualifications, and studies from America (mainly because HE is more prevalent over there, so there have been more studies done, than in the UK) have shown that parental qualification have no impact on the success/attainment of homeschooled children, whereas the quality of time spent together does correlate with academic achievement.  As you've come to expect, I can't remember where I read that, and can't find it from a search, but have found this summary of research which includes a summary of Paula Rothermel's research from 2001 which says:
It showed that whilst 14% of parents interviewed had some teacher training home educating parents were more likely to come from manual and semi‐skilled backgrounds and, contrary to most educational research findings, lower social class did not equate with poorer performance in children; in fact the reverse was often true.
I also question points (d), (e), (f) and (g).

9.4g of the LA's guidance says:
g. any assessment of suitability should take into account the environment in which home education is being provided. Most obviously, home accommodation which is noisy and/or cramped is likely to make it very difficult for a child to learn and make satisfactory progress.
 Whereas a home educated child can learn in any room of the house, in the garden, or elsewhere (libraries, parks etc before we even mention groups that meet in hired halls or in specific buildings), classrooms can be only 55m2 for 30children!

As I said above, to conquer (e), the guidance for parents should specifically point parents towards meeting other home educators. (f) is part of home education - how many times do I need to say that HE kids are not kept under the stairs?! And (g) is irrelevant.  Schools will always be there.  HE will, hopefully(!), always be there.  Parents need to make the decision based upon what is best for their children now.  Yes, look to the future, but things change.  Circumstances change.  Children's interests change.  The NC changes often enough!  One of the great benefits of HE is the flexibility.

Section 4.1 says:
4.1 If your child has never been enrolled at a school, you are under no legal obligation to inform the local authority that he or she is being home educated, or gain consent for this. However, it is strongly recommended that you do notify your local authority of the fact, in order to facilitate access to any advice and support available. Some local authorities operate voluntary registration schemes which are linked to support arrangements.
Why advice and support can the LA offer? Section 3.6 has already said you're on your own:
Remember that if you choose to educate your child at home, you as parents must be prepared to assume full financial responsibility for the child’s education, including bearing the cost of any public examinations (which would have to be entered via an external examinations centre, which may be some distance from your home). Some local authorities may provide financial or other assistance to home-educating families for public examinations, but this is discretionary. Other costs to consider include books, paper, IT and other equipment, and educational visits and sporting activities. Local authorities can consider giving support when special educational needs are being met through home education and additional costs are incurred as a consequence of those special needs. Even in these cases, assistance is discretionary. Some local authorities operate support groups or forums for home-educating families, or provide access to advice; but again, this is discretionary. 

And given how much LAs are trying to underhandedly register and monitor home educators (not to mention the current consultation about registration), no HErs worth their salt would recommend anyone joining any support group or forum run by the LA. Get your support from other HErs instead, or from one of the various HE websites eg http://educationalfreedom.org.uk or charities eg https://www.educationotherwise.org/. These sources are much more trustworthy, imo, and will help you get in touch with other home educators should you need it (but as a hint, join Facebook and type "Home Education *your LA*" and you should find at least one HE group local to you).

Section 4.2 starts in a confusing way, imo:
4.2 If your child is currently on the roll of a school you are not obliged to inform the school that he or she is being withdrawn for home education or gain consent for this.
If your child is registered at a school, you MUST deregister by writing to the head teacher; otherwise you risk your child being CME (Children Missing Education) and you could get fined or worse.  What section 4.2 means, is that when you ask the school to remove your child's name from the school roll, you do not need to specify that you are home educating, though it is sensible to do so.  You also do not have to give any reasons as for why you want to home educate.  As the parent, you are legally responsible for your child's education, whether at school or otherwise, so once you deregister, that is it.  You don't need to have any contact with the school; you don't need to have any meetings with the school nor fill out any of the school's forms.

Chapter 5 is all about the duties of the LA, and how much contact they will have with you.
5.1 Your local authority has no formal powers or duty to monitor the provision of education at home. However, it does have a statutory duty (under s.436A of the Education Act 1996) to make arrangements to enable it to establish the identities, so far as it is possible to do so, of children in its area who are not receiving a suitable education.
5.3 The local authority is therefore likely to make such enquiries if it becomes aware that you are educating a child at home - or may be doing so. As parents you are under no legal obligation to respond, but if you do not, the local authority is entitled to conclude from the absence of any response that it appears that your child is not receiving a suitable education, with all the consequences which can follow from that (see below).
If the LA get in touch with you, it is ALWAYS advisable to reply.  You don't need to complete any forms - a letter should be sufficient - but don't forget to respond.

5.4 Some local authorities will ask to see the child at home or in another location, as well as seeing examples of work done. As parents, you are under no legal obligation from education law to agree to such a meeting (but see section below on safeguarding) or to produce specific evidence but you should consider carefully the reasons for not doing so, what is in the best interests of your child, and what is the most sensible approach. If you do not do enough to satisfy the local authority about the education being provided at home it may have no option but to conclude that the education does not meet the s.7 requirement.
Section 6.6 of the LA's guidance says:
6.6 Informal enquiries can include a request to see the child, either in the home or in another location. But the parent is under no legal obligation to agree to this simply in order to satisfy the local authority as to the suitability of home education, although a refusal to allow a visit can in some circumstances justify service of a notice under s.437(1).
Previously, it was always advisable to say no to visits, however, now a refusal to allow a visit can justify service of a notice.  As such, I think if your LA has asked/arranged a visit, I would reply asap to ask them if you could submit a report instead (that way you can keep everything in writing, as that is my preference) or if that won't be acceptable then suggest to meet in a neutral location such as a cafe or a library.  You are showing your preference to keep everything in writing, but are showing willing to meet if necessary.
If you do agree to have a visit from the LA, I would recommend having a HEing friend there too, to be your advocate and witness.  Whether you want them to take notes of the meeting, or simply be there supporting you, it's up to you.

Section 5.5 includes:
 Local authorities should be bearing in mind that, in the early stages, your plans may not be detailed and you may not yet be in a position to demonstrate all the characteristics of an "efficient and suitable" educational provision. You may want to ask the local authority for advice and support. A reasonable timescale should be agreed for you to demonstrate that all aspects of your provision in place, but this does not mean that there can be any significant break between the end of schooling and the provision of good education at home.
I'm a big advocate for deschooling - I think it is essential for all home educating parents, and useful for children who have been in school.  However, NEVER use that word with the LA.  They do not understand it or why it is important. Section 6.2 of the guidance for LAs shows their ignorance:
6.2 Families beginning home education sometimes state that they are entitled to a period during which the home education provided for the child may not meet the requirements in s.7 because they are still, as it were, building up the provision to a satisfactory level. Some parents may go further and describe this period as being necessary for ‘deschooling’. There is no legal basis for such a position. Any statement along these lines could be an indication that the child is not being properly educated.

So, do not use the word "deschooling" with the LA, ever.

Section 5.6-5.10 are all about what happens if the LA does not think you are providing a suitable education.  Hopefully, it won't ever happen to you, but the key thing to remember is to always reply and respond to their letters.

5.11 says:
This duty does not entitle a local authority to insist on visiting a child’s home, or seeing the child, simply for the purposes of monitoring the provision of home education.
Which is interesting when they've said way up there ^^ that the LA has no duty to monitor HE.
The rest of Chapter 5 is to do with the safeguarding role of the LA.

Section 5.13 says:
Your local authority’s published policy on elective home education may explain the circumstances in which the authority may decide that use of the Children Act powers is justified. The Secretary of State has no power to intervene in relation to unjustified use of these powers. In any event, parents should not be using home education as a way of preventing proper oversight of children.
The question(s) I have is:
If there has been unjustified use of these powers, who can we complain to?
Who is the ombudsman? 
If the Secretary of State has no power to intervene, who does have the power?

Section 6.1:
You will therefore wish to satisfy yourself by taking up appropriate references, and check that any private tutor has a recent Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS) disclosure certificate.
Again, this is a personal thing, but needs to be said - self-employed private tutors cannot get an enhanced DBS check.  A basic one, yes, but as a self-employed private tutor myself, unless I get employed through a school or a tuition agency (which would take a large cut of any payment, so I don't want to) I cannot get an enhanced DBS check done on myself.

And the rest of the document seems quite sensible at a glance.

So, going back to my initial question, on the whole I do NOT think HErs need to do anything different. Keep home educating, to the best of your ability, according to your child's needs and interests (or age, ability and aptitude in legal speak).  You do not need to suddenly contact the LA or register if you are currently 'unknown'.  If the LA gets in contact, ALWAYS reply.  You can ask to keep everything in writing, but have to show willing to have a visit if they insist, however, the visit does not have to occur in your home, but could be in a neutral location such as a library or a cafe.

I hope that makes sense.