History in the Making

2020, so far as we're not even half way through yet!, seems to be a highly significant year.  

I know most years feel significant in one way or another - for example both 2016 and 2017 shocked the nation and the world due to the number of celebrity deaths, though when looked at objectively, given the time when TVs because household items, and the ages of various celebrities as well as the growth of music, sport and celebrity culture, it's actually no surprise that many of them get old at the same time.

2020, however, feels different to that, not least because of all the different things that we have been dealt with on a global scale.  Firstly there were the wildfires that ravaged Australia.  We've had a global pandemic that we are still living through.  And now we are living through world-wide protests about race and societal structures that perpetuate the differences and hardships that non-whites face.

Now, normally on a Monday I do my Weekly Update, and today I was looking forward to it because I am my lowest weight!!! But instead, I have decided to put my thoughts on what has happened at the weekend.

Over the weekend there have been many protests to tell the world that Black Lives Matter.  I have given my thoughts on race and privilege before. Now, because we are in a pandemic some people have said that people should not be protesting.  I disagree with that.  We are in a pandemic, so people should not be having parties on the beach, or squashing together in supermarkets trying to get the latest deal, or driving 200-odd miles with your wife and 4yo child just in case you need childcare... However, speaking out for what you believe, speaking up for those who because of systematic racism need your support, is always a good thing.

Now, I don't agree with unnecessary violence.  I don't think bricks should be thrown at police horses (though as a friend pointed out - why would a responsible horse owner take a horse into a violent situation? - food for thought!) and I don't think there should be mindless acts of vandalism.  Spray painting "BLM" on buildings and plinths just doesn't site right with me.  Yet, as a Bristolian, I was pleased to see the statue of Edward Colston toppled and rolled into the river.  It seems like poetic justice.

My friend and fellow blogger has written a more articulate post about Edward Colston that I could.
There is lots in Bristol that uses his name.  I have read that, after refurbishment, Colston Hall will be changing its name.  I wonder if Colston's School will be going through a similar thought process in the near future?  Bristol has a long history of slavery, and I certainly don't think that should be white-washed or forgotten, but should be remembered and learned from.  It certainly shouldn't be celebrated by statues in public, rather in a museum where the public can be educated.

There is currently a petition for a new statue to sit on the remaining plinth (which I'm more upset it has been graffiti-ed than the statue removed): https://tinyurl.com/y9c8mu78

Personally, I would like it to be replaced by the image of this man, perhaps with statues of slaves themselves around the base.  

I don't know who to credit the photo
but will amend when I do.

Remember this day.  

Remember things can change.  

We all have the power to do a little,

Which will add up to something big.

Sword Bearer by Teddy Jacobs

Another YA book, and "J" in my alphabet.  Sword Bearer is a fantasy surrounding a 16 year old boy, Anders, who now gets to train with a real sword.

The blurb says:

You swung a staff until you were ready to swing a sword. Then you went on all kinds of adventures -- fighting monsters, casting spells, and saving damsels in distress. At least that was how it was supposed to work, but I didn't believe a word of it.

BOOK ONE OF THE EPIC FANTASY SERIES RETURN OF THE DRAGONS

Locked in his room in the castle, young Anders yearns for adventure. Until the day he opens a magic portal and a girl bursts into his locked room with a chemical warlock hot on her trail.

And adventure finds him -- an adventure full of danger, full of blood, fire, demons and evil. To face it, he'll need the sword given him by his blademaster, need the ancient words his grandfather gave him on his deathbed. Need the song that runs in his own blood, in his veins.

A sword will be reforged, magic words discovered, battles fought, friends made and lost, secrets revealed. And blood will be spilled. But will blade, word and blood be enough?

I wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did.  It was quite obvious from the beginning that this book was aimed at teens, but I would allow my preteens to read this (first they'd have to enjoy reading, and then they'd have to enjoy fantasy - unfortunately they seem to have follow after my husband here...).  

It was predicted on my kindle that it would take 4 hours to read, but actually took much less than that.  The action comes fast and furious and I couldn't put it down.  There were a few typos, and if this book was to be aimed at adults I would have expected it to be fleshed out a bit more, but as I said, I did enjoy this book.  So much so, I have just bought the second in the series.

A Sweary Poem

Fuck!
The fucking world is all fucked up.
What the fuck can we do?
Fuck off if you don't give a shit.
I do.
And if you think swearing is a sign of a bad vocabulary?
Fuck you.
Hell yes, I just said that.
We need to stop fucking around
And take ownership of our fuck-ups.
I am as guilty as the next
And if you're more worried about what I'm saying
Rather than why I'm saying it
You can shut the fuck up.
The world is fucked.
We are all to blame.
And because I don't want this to become a heavy essay detailing all the different ways the world is fucked right now (which incidentally I did start typing, but it was becoming far too long and convoluted so I deleted it all) I want to encourage you to open your eyes, educate yourself, educate those around you and speak up, even if you think your voice won't be heard or you are as much of a coward as I am.
The world is broken
But we can still
Thank God.
He came to save us
And we can be the change.
Can we change the world?
Abso-fucking-lutely.

Full Circle by Mona Ingram

Full Circle follows the story of Bella, a woman who was thrown out of her home due to getting pregnant as a teen, but still manages to make a success of her life, and is "I" in my alphabet list.

The blurb says:

Single and pregnant, Bella is given a choice. Give up her child for adoption or leave town.
The choice was never in doubt. Bella moves across the country, settling in Santa Monica. Determined to make a life for herself and her child, she and her new friend Sophia sell children’s clothing at the Venice Beach market. When their creative designs are featured on television, their business takes off and they accept an offer from Rafael Vargas to expand their business. Bella fights her attraction to the handsome entrepreneur, but deep in her heart all she really wants is love.

I really liked this book, because despite being a cozy romance, the author has written in such a way that you feel the emotions of the characters - both good and bad.  From the heartbreak as a teenager, to suppressing her desire for her business partner, it is easy to relate to Bella and you want her to succeed as she returns to her home town. 

Yes, it is predictable in places, and doesn't go into as much depth as I'd like in others, but for a bit of light reading in only 150 pages, this was very enjoyable.

Musings on Race and Privilege

I spent this morning talking to my 12yo daughter about the goings-on in the world.  It started about Coronavirus and the impact that is having on our lives, and evolved, as conversations do, to talking about the various protests around the world.

I have not watched the video of George Floyd's last moments.  The photos and articles written about it are horrific enough.  I know that I am in a privileged position that I am not confronted with racism nor police brutality on a daily basis.  I know that I am in a privileged position that the closest I get to racism is second-hand: it happens to friends and family, or their friends and their family.  It doesn't happen to me.  I can't understand what it feels to be the subject of overt and indirect racism.  When I hear people speak, an anecdote, short story, quick meme, I get the briefest of insight into a fraction of their lives.  As try as I might, though I may understand that moment, I cannot fully understand the impact it has on their lives.

My husband likes running.  He runs for fitness.  He runs for his mental health.  He runs to cope with Lockdown.  And I swear sometimes he runs just to get away from the kids! lol.  At the moment, it is very hot during the day, so he is running at night when it is cooler.

I don't like running.  Honestly, it's not for me. Five years ago a friend challenged me to "run the rainbow" with her for charity.  I used the Couch to 5K app and I did get up to running the 5K, and I did run the race and have various colour powder paints thrown at me.  It was fun.  I got my medal.  And that was that.  No more running for me, thanks!  However, sometimes I do feel slightly jealous that my husband runs in the evening.  I have never felt like I could do that.  As a woman, we have been taught since we were little not to go out at night.  That we could be attacked.  That it would be our fault for being out late.  For not wearing the right things.  For being alone.  And though I have been through the indestructible phase (late teens-mid 20s) where nobody and nothing can hurt you, after having children it is easy to become aware of all possible dangers, no matter how remote they may seem.  As such, a fat middle-aged woman, huffing and puffing just to traverse 5K alone at night, in my mind is a prime victim for being attacked as I wouldn't be able to run away.  So whether that fear is reasonable or unreasonable, I never ran at night.

I have a friend who recently shared a story on Facebook (though I had heard it before).  She is a white woman, and before she had kids lived in London with her partner, who bought her a dog.  One day, this dog tried to bite her, so she put in in a safe place, and called her partner asking for his help as he was on his way home from work.  When he got off the train, he ran home and she kept watching for him.  In her words:

But it appeared, I wasn’t the only one keeping my eye on him.

A police van happened to drive past this black man running. Put their lights on, put their sirens on and four of them jumped out to stop him.

He’d always asked me to stay out of things if police stopped him. It was something he was accustom to and he never wanted me to get involved.

...

I watched them put him in handcuffs and pat him down to search him whilst he stood there helpless. I remember the look on his face as he glimpsed me up at the window. The look of “look at this shit I have to deal with”.

They didn’t find anything.

But this wasn’t good enough for them.

They took him into the van.

At this point I was petrified! I ignored his request to stay away and I went outside to speak to the officers.

I asked one of them why they’d put him in the van and he told me they need to search him. I challenged him because I’d just watched them search him! 🤬

He told me they needed to do a strip search because apparently in the Croydon borough there was an order in place that meant they could stop and search anyone they wanted to.

Can you imagine how he was feeling at this point? 5 minutes ago, he’d got off the train from a long day at work, and was rushing home to help me deal with our naughty dog and the next minute he’s being stripped searched in the back of a police van.

As I was talking to the officer, continuing to question what this “order” really meant, I’ll never forget what he said to me, whilst dodging all of my questions... “How do you know a prick like this anyway?” 

I can barely imagine what it must have been like for my friend, to see the way the police were treating the man you love simply because they were black.   I cannot imagine what it must be like for her black partner who is so used to receiving this kind of treatment, that they warn their white girlfriend ahead of time not to get involved if they see it happening.  I cannot imagine living in such a way that I wouldn't be allowed to run, if I had desire or need to.  I cannot imagine feeling like I can't walk around my own neighbourhood alone during the day.  I cannot imagine a boy of 10yo having already learned that he has to put his hands up in a neighbour's yard, when collecting a ball he accidentally kicked there.  I cannot imagine being a young boy, dressed as a superhero, held on my dad's shoulders, and have police point their guns at us.

This is not ok.  This needs to change.  And not just these overtly racist occurrences, but also the slight, discreet, indirect and subversive racism that makes up modern day society.

It is easy for me living in my town in the south of the UK to think this only happens in America, or it only happens in London, but systematic racism is prevalent in our society and it is not right.

I'm not going to patronise you by saying what you should or shouldn't be doing.  I'm only a white woman living a fairly comfortable life, commenting on what is happening to others, who hasn't got a fucking clue how to change society as a whole.  But I will tell you what I am doing.  I am going to educate myself and my children about direct and indirect racism.  I plan to read Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race and How to Argue with a Racist, amongst others.  I am going to use my voice and call out racism when I see it, and be gracious when people call me out on the systemic racism that I'm part of but barely aware of.  This article from 2016 says White Silence is Not an Option, yet not much has changed in the past four years.

I'm going to end by linking this BBC Article about why US protests are resonating in the UK and this 20min video about Trevor Noah's thoughts - well worth taking 20min out of your day to listen to it. (Trevor Noah was literally Born a Crime in South Africa because he is mixed race.  I reviewed his book last year.)

Here is a good list of books to educate your children and yourself.

Foreclosed by Traci Tyne Hilton

Foreclosed was an enjoyable story to read whilst sunbathing during lockdown.
It follows the story of Mitzy, an estate agent (or realtor in American, lol) who is trying to keep her business afloat and start the local economy moving again by helping people manage their money on a local radio show after the 2007 economic crash.  Meanwhile, she gets entangled in a mystery surrounding a house that has been foreclosed, but the previous owner is illegally selling off fittings and fixtures, and some jewellery that has been stolen from the museum her sister-in-law works at.

The blurb says:

Mitzy Neuhaus is the top selling Realtor in Portland, but even her office is dead in this economy. Foreclosed is the word no homeowner wants to hear and Mitzy is determined to save the incredible mansion on her street from that fate. But with the homeowner desperate to keep Mitzy away from his property and Alonzo, the dangerously hot rival investor trying to snatch it out from under her, Mitzy knows she has to work fast, or the economy won’t be the only thing dead…

It is a cozy mystery, so whilst it keeps you on the edge of your seat, there is no great violence nor horrifically gory scenes.  The author manages to keep you intrigued in the story, as the various twists and turns develop.  I will say, though, that because it is subtitled "A Mitzy Neuhaus Mystery" I was expecting Mitzy to be an amateur detective solving the mystery, rather than getting embroiled in it herself.

Enjoyable, light reading.

Weekly Update Y2w22

I have had a good week this week! 
It's not reflected in my weight particularly, nor in the amount of exercise I have done or am doing, but I feel good in myself!

As I said last week, when we have BBQs I want to try and not have the bread roll with my burger - I managed it yesterday!

I made a massive salad, homemade yoghurt and mustard dressing and the most delicious carrots I have ever had. Honestly, they were so nice that I could happily just have a plate of them, and I'm no veg lover!  I cooked them the same way I do asparagus: lay them on a baking tray, sprinkle with onion salt, garlic powder, black pepper and a drizzle of oil. Give it a mix, and roast for 25min (I do asparagus for only 15min) at 180C.  Remove from oven and sprinkle with sea salt. Yum!

My whole week hasn't been as impressive - I have been fancying a Chinese takeaway for ages and haven't had one this year, I don't think? Certainly not in lockdown, anyway.  So, last week we had one, and inevitably my weight jumped as you can see from my graph.

But it has come back down after a couple of days, and today I am back under 92kgs.😀
I am reading Ilana Muhlstein's book "You can drop it!" which is based on the 2B Mindset.  Again, I'm reading it with my friend so we can encourage each other as we try to lose weight.  (If you click "2B Mindset" on the word cloud >>> you can see all my previous posts about it.)  This week I am focusing on Veggies Most.  It seems a simple goal, but one that I do not always maintain.  But as I said, I am feeling confident this week.

I am also mixing my exercise up between Body Groove's Pilates and 7 Minute Workouts (from the app of the same name).  Though I enjoy the pilates, and am managing to get stronger with it, I feel that I should combine that with doing something to raise my heart rate.

With God's help, I can do this!