Full Circle by Mona Ingram

Full Circle follows the story of Bella, a woman who was thrown out of her home due to getting pregnant as a teen, but still manages to make a success of her life, and is "I" in my alphabet list.

The blurb says:

Single and pregnant, Bella is given a choice. Give up her child for adoption or leave town.
The choice was never in doubt. Bella moves across the country, settling in Santa Monica. Determined to make a life for herself and her child, she and her new friend Sophia sell children’s clothing at the Venice Beach market. When their creative designs are featured on television, their business takes off and they accept an offer from Rafael Vargas to expand their business. Bella fights her attraction to the handsome entrepreneur, but deep in her heart all she really wants is love.

I really liked this book, because despite being a cozy romance, the author has written in such a way that you feel the emotions of the characters - both good and bad.  From the heartbreak as a teenager, to suppressing her desire for her business partner, it is easy to relate to Bella and you want her to succeed as she returns to her home town. 

Yes, it is predictable in places, and doesn't go into as much depth as I'd like in others, but for a bit of light reading in only 150 pages, this was very enjoyable.

Musings on Race and Privilege

I spent this morning talking to my 12yo daughter about the goings-on in the world.  It started about Coronavirus and the impact that is having on our lives, and evolved, as conversations do, to talking about the various protests around the world.

I have not watched the video of George Floyd's last moments.  The photos and articles written about it are horrific enough.  I know that I am in a privileged position that I am not confronted with racism nor police brutality on a daily basis.  I know that I am in a privileged position that the closest I get to racism is second-hand: it happens to friends and family, or their friends and their family.  It doesn't happen to me.  I can't understand what it feels to be the subject of overt and indirect racism.  When I hear people speak, an anecdote, short story, quick meme, I get the briefest of insight into a fraction of their lives.  As try as I might, though I may understand that moment, I cannot fully understand the impact it has on their lives.

My husband likes running.  He runs for fitness.  He runs for his mental health.  He runs to cope with Lockdown.  And I swear sometimes he runs just to get away from the kids! lol.  At the moment, it is very hot during the day, so he is running at night when it is cooler.

I don't like running.  Honestly, it's not for me. Five years ago a friend challenged me to "run the rainbow" with her for charity.  I used the Couch to 5K app and I did get up to running the 5K, and I did run the race and have various colour powder paints thrown at me.  It was fun.  I got my medal.  And that was that.  No more running for me, thanks!  However, sometimes I do feel slightly jealous that my husband runs in the evening.  I have never felt like I could do that.  As a woman, we have been taught since we were little not to go out at night.  That we could be attacked.  That it would be our fault for being out late.  For not wearing the right things.  For being alone.  And though I have been through the indestructible phase (late teens-mid 20s) where nobody and nothing can hurt you, after having children it is easy to become aware of all possible dangers, no matter how remote they may seem.  As such, a fat middle-aged woman, huffing and puffing just to traverse 5K alone at night, in my mind is a prime victim for being attacked as I wouldn't be able to run away.  So whether that fear is reasonable or unreasonable, I never ran at night.

I have a friend who recently shared a story on Facebook (though I had heard it before).  She is a white woman, and before she had kids lived in London with her partner, who bought her a dog.  One day, this dog tried to bite her, so she put in in a safe place, and called her partner asking for his help as he was on his way home from work.  When he got off the train, he ran home and she kept watching for him.  In her words:

But it appeared, I wasn’t the only one keeping my eye on him.

A police van happened to drive past this black man running. Put their lights on, put their sirens on and four of them jumped out to stop him.

He’d always asked me to stay out of things if police stopped him. It was something he was accustom to and he never wanted me to get involved.

...

I watched them put him in handcuffs and pat him down to search him whilst he stood there helpless. I remember the look on his face as he glimpsed me up at the window. The look of “look at this shit I have to deal with”.

They didn’t find anything.

But this wasn’t good enough for them.

They took him into the van.

At this point I was petrified! I ignored his request to stay away and I went outside to speak to the officers.

I asked one of them why they’d put him in the van and he told me they need to search him. I challenged him because I’d just watched them search him! 🤬

He told me they needed to do a strip search because apparently in the Croydon borough there was an order in place that meant they could stop and search anyone they wanted to.

Can you imagine how he was feeling at this point? 5 minutes ago, he’d got off the train from a long day at work, and was rushing home to help me deal with our naughty dog and the next minute he’s being stripped searched in the back of a police van.

As I was talking to the officer, continuing to question what this “order” really meant, I’ll never forget what he said to me, whilst dodging all of my questions... “How do you know a prick like this anyway?” 

I can barely imagine what it must have been like for my friend, to see the way the police were treating the man you love simply because they were black.   I cannot imagine what it must be like for her black partner who is so used to receiving this kind of treatment, that they warn their white girlfriend ahead of time not to get involved if they see it happening.  I cannot imagine living in such a way that I wouldn't be allowed to run, if I had desire or need to.  I cannot imagine feeling like I can't walk around my own neighbourhood alone during the day.  I cannot imagine a boy of 10yo having already learned that he has to put his hands up in a neighbour's yard, when collecting a ball he accidentally kicked there.  I cannot imagine being a young boy, dressed as a superhero, held on my dad's shoulders, and have police point their guns at us.

This is not ok.  This needs to change.  And not just these overtly racist occurrences, but also the slight, discreet, indirect and subversive racism that makes up modern day society.

It is easy for me living in my town in the south of the UK to think this only happens in America, or it only happens in London, but systematic racism is prevalent in our society and it is not right.

I'm not going to patronise you by saying what you should or shouldn't be doing.  I'm only a white woman living a fairly comfortable life, commenting on what is happening to others, who hasn't got a fucking clue how to change society as a whole.  But I will tell you what I am doing.  I am going to educate myself and my children about direct and indirect racism.  I plan to read Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People about Race and How to Argue with a Racist, amongst others.  I am going to use my voice and call out racism when I see it, and be gracious when people call me out on the systemic racism that I'm part of but barely aware of.  This article from 2016 says White Silence is Not an Option, yet not much has changed in the past four years.

I'm going to end by linking this BBC Article about why US protests are resonating in the UK and this 20min video about Trevor Noah's thoughts - well worth taking 20min out of your day to listen to it. (Trevor Noah was literally Born a Crime in South Africa because he is mixed race.  I reviewed his book last year.)

Here is a good list of books to educate your children and yourself.

Foreclosed by Traci Tyne Hilton

Foreclosed was an enjoyable story to read whilst sunbathing during lockdown.
It follows the story of Mitzy, an estate agent (or realtor in American, lol) who is trying to keep her business afloat and start the local economy moving again by helping people manage their money on a local radio show after the 2007 economic crash.  Meanwhile, she gets entangled in a mystery surrounding a house that has been foreclosed, but the previous owner is illegally selling off fittings and fixtures, and some jewellery that has been stolen from the museum her sister-in-law works at.

The blurb says:

Mitzy Neuhaus is the top selling Realtor in Portland, but even her office is dead in this economy. Foreclosed is the word no homeowner wants to hear and Mitzy is determined to save the incredible mansion on her street from that fate. But with the homeowner desperate to keep Mitzy away from his property and Alonzo, the dangerously hot rival investor trying to snatch it out from under her, Mitzy knows she has to work fast, or the economy won’t be the only thing dead…

It is a cozy mystery, so whilst it keeps you on the edge of your seat, there is no great violence nor horrifically gory scenes.  The author manages to keep you intrigued in the story, as the various twists and turns develop.  I will say, though, that because it is subtitled "A Mitzy Neuhaus Mystery" I was expecting Mitzy to be an amateur detective solving the mystery, rather than getting embroiled in it herself.

Enjoyable, light reading.

Weekly Update Y2w22

I have had a good week this week! 
It's not reflected in my weight particularly, nor in the amount of exercise I have done or am doing, but I feel good in myself!

As I said last week, when we have BBQs I want to try and not have the bread roll with my burger - I managed it yesterday!

I made a massive salad, homemade yoghurt and mustard dressing and the most delicious carrots I have ever had. Honestly, they were so nice that I could happily just have a plate of them, and I'm no veg lover!  I cooked them the same way I do asparagus: lay them on a baking tray, sprinkle with onion salt, garlic powder, black pepper and a drizzle of oil. Give it a mix, and roast for 25min (I do asparagus for only 15min) at 180C.  Remove from oven and sprinkle with sea salt. Yum!

My whole week hasn't been as impressive - I have been fancying a Chinese takeaway for ages and haven't had one this year, I don't think? Certainly not in lockdown, anyway.  So, last week we had one, and inevitably my weight jumped as you can see from my graph.

But it has come back down after a couple of days, and today I am back under 92kgs.😀
I am reading Ilana Muhlstein's book "You can drop it!" which is based on the 2B Mindset.  Again, I'm reading it with my friend so we can encourage each other as we try to lose weight.  (If you click "2B Mindset" on the word cloud >>> you can see all my previous posts about it.)  This week I am focusing on Veggies Most.  It seems a simple goal, but one that I do not always maintain.  But as I said, I am feeling confident this week.

I am also mixing my exercise up between Body Groove's Pilates and 7 Minute Workouts (from the app of the same name).  Though I enjoy the pilates, and am managing to get stronger with it, I feel that I should combine that with doing something to raise my heart rate.

With God's help, I can do this!

The Forbidden City by Alexander Grant

The Forbidden City was my chosen 'G' from all the books I have unread on my kindle.

It tells the adventures of General Leandros, the King's Lion.  Prince Assaf assassinated the king in order to take his place, and a group of soldiers loyal to the rightful king, plus General Leandros, abandon their old country and seek refuge in Indra.  Unfortunately, Assaf has now pronounced himself Emperor and he looks to conquer all surrounding lands to expand his empire.

The blurb says:

It was the perfect plan. Murder the King and use his legions to restore the Empire. Only flaw; the man who created the legions managed to escape. No big deal. He was only one man, right?
Immerse yourself within the magical world of the Eagle Empire through the first book of the King's Lion Tales. Spectacular battles, high level strategy, romance, Gods, shamans, magicians and miraculous spices are making a truly entertaining read.
They sent his own legions to hunt him down. Assassins lurk behind every corner. The woman he loves is in danger. As if these are not enough, they plan to unleash a terrible ancient evil to plunge the world into warfare and bloodshed.
But he is not an ordinary man. He is a legend. General Leandros, the undefeated King's Lion. Now he is coming back armed with steel and magic. In a world full of intrigue, sorcery and enchantment, where Gods and humans play lethal power games, the King's Lion fights one breath-taking battle after another across an entire continent. The future of the Empire and of the woman he loves depends on him. Will his genius manage to save the world?

I enjoyed this story.  I liked the plot, and though there is a lot going on (battles, deception, gods, magic, love) all the twists and turns make sense and though they may not always be expected, they do not come out of nowhere, itms.  As expected when reading a story about a general, much of the book centres around the battles and strategies of warfare - that said, when I chose the book (based on the title alone, once I sorted by author for G) I didn't expect it to be as heavily based on battle.

This is the first book of the trilogy, but I have enjoyed it as a standalone.

Edited to add: Alexander Grant has been in touch and he is hoping to write a 4th book in the series!

The Collective Virtual Choir

This past month or so, I have been singing as part of The Collective.  The Collective is a Virtual Choir that describes itself as "An A Cappella Virtual Choir made up of singers from around the world. First started in 2020 during the Covid 19 Pandemic."
I saw an advert on Facebook that a friend shared, and it looked like fun.  It's a group of singers from all around the world, who are singing together, but separately, to make some music.

They did a project back in April ("back" - as if April was so long ago, lol) that I wasn't a part of, but gives you an idea of the type of thing we are working towards (as I'm not giving too many details until it is finished): White Cliffs of Dover by The Collective.

I had not realised that I missed singing, and it certainly does help with my mental health.  So, I have been learning a new song, learning new techniques and even learning how to self evaluate my own recordings by listening back to myself - something very scary when you've been told most your life that you can't/shouldn't sing.  I love singing, but this has stayed with me, so even though I do sing, I'm not convinced I'm any good at it.  During this experience, I have been brave and sung solo in front of strangers live, I have sent a recording of my voice part in for feedback, and this morning I have sent in my final recording to be included as part of The Collective.

The feedback I got almost made me cry - in a good way, I'm just not a cry-y person.

I'm not joking when I said that I have often been told I shouldn't sing.  When I was a child, I felt I didn't have support from family; I can remember friends laughing at me because I had perfected the art of miming to songs, and even though I did enjoy singing (even as a child) I can remember one friend telling me my voice was perfect for a choir but not for solos.  It took a lot of courage for me to join my Adult Musical Theatre group, though I haven't yet built up the courage to sing more than a few words by myself, I am hoping this experience with The Collective helps me to become more confident.  Even when practising this song, my kids say I'm embarrassing and my husband says I'm too loud because he is in meetings... 

This first song is nearly finished, and the next song is due to start next month.  I encourage everybody who enjoys singing to sing, whether it be at home, in a choir, or in a virtual group like this one. 
Sing and let your voice be heard!

Learn Free Home Education Conference 2020

Over the weekend of the 15th May, the Learn Free Annual Home Education Conference went virtual due to the Coronavirus.  Normally held in Coventry, this was the first year that I was able to attend.  The ticket was only £12 and for that you get access to all the talks and discussion. And, as this year was virtual, all the content is still available for the next 6 months, so if it sounds interesting, you can still buy access!

Using the Whova app (that I hadn't even heard of before, let alone use) it is really easy to navigate the conference and see and speak to everyone you wanted to.  The program was full with many speakers, including Dr Peter Grey the writer of Free to Learn, covering topics such as General Interest, SEND, Legal/Political Factors, Charlotte Mason, Secondary Education, Christian Education, Unschooling, Early Years, Numeracy & Literacy, Classical Approach, as well as some Just For Fun.

For the price, I thought the conference was amazing.  I had thought about going in previous years, but with the girls dancing (there is usually a dance festival May half term, so can't miss dance lessons on the weekends leading up to it) there has not been the opportunity, so being virtual has been good for me.  It also gave me a chance to catch up with old friends, some of whom I hadn't spoken to for years.  If there is an online version next year, I will definitely go again.