The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

I bought this book because my 12yo had homework to draw a scene from one of the poems in this book, but had come home without the text!

So I bought the book.

My initial impression was that it's not really suitable for Yr7s (11 & 12yos).  DD1 does know all about sex etc - we're upfront about answering any questions either girl may have - but I still felt she's a bit young for this book.  That said, as I continued reading I felt better about the book.

The blurb says:

Xiomara has always kept her words to herself. When it comes to standing her ground in her Harlem neighbourhood, she lets her fists and her fierceness do the talking.

But X has secrets – her feelings for a boy in her bio class, and the notebook full of poems that she keeps under her bed. And a slam poetry club that will pull those secrets into the spotlight.

Because in spite of a world that might not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to stay silent.

A novel about finding your voice and standing up for what you believe in, no matter how hard it is to say. Brave, bold and beautifully written - dealing with issues of race, feminism and faith.

The book is raw and blunt.  It is written through the eyes of teenager Xiomara as she learns how to be true to herself.  She questions her faith and her family, and is full of mixed emotions about school, boys and every day life.

I read the book in 2 days, and yes, I will allow my daughter to read it should she want to.  It is thought-provoking and gets to the core of what it feels like to be a teenage girl, misunderstood by those around you, battling desires and rules as you go through adolescence and try to make it in life.

Adam's Journey by Alex Albrinck

Last year I read and reviewed books 1-7 of The Aliomenti Saga.  It's a great series that I loved all the twists and turns, bringing SciFi, time travel, and fantasy together with an innocent man who is told he's the saviour with an egotistical maniac who wants him dead.  Go on, read it.  The series is great.

Anyway, I held off reading the eighth instalment, Adam's Journey, because I didn't want to ruin the series as some sequels who go back to a story line don't quite hit the mark... Boy, was I wrong!

As soon as the book started, I was swept away into the world of nanotechnology and magic, immediately remembering everything that had happened previously and watching wide-eyed as I saw the same stories from another perspective, getting better whilst simultaneously being more complex.

The blurb says:

The greatest journeys in life are often those taken in silence, with no one else watching. They are the journeys of self-discovery, when one learns one's true history and destiny. They are the times when self-discipline must trump the massive desire to act in a manner that offers a short term benefit... but a long term disaster.

Adam long knew he faced such a journey, one he'd face completely alone. He didn't know how he'd ever begin; fate seemed stacked against him. And yet he knew the stakes, knew that his failure -- or his discovery -- could doom him and those he loves most.

And then... fate smiled on him. For just a few brief moments, the window opened, and he commenced that journey.

He--and the world--would never be the same.

Despite me saying the plot is intricate, it is actually an easy read.  The story is well written so you always understand as much as you need to know at that time, without it becoming too complicated or difficult to follow.  Though some things you don't fully understand until later in the books, there are no plot holes, and everything comes neatly to an end, without it becoming twee.

I have some more books written by Albrinck that I can't wait to read.

Weekly Update No44

I'm still not weighing myself. I feel like I'm slowly losing all the 2B Mindset principles, which is a shame as in theory, it should work.  Whether it's will-power or I simply don't care enough, I don't know, but it should work.

Anyway, whatever the reasons, I've stopped weighing myself.  It does mean (obviously) I have no idea how much I weigh, whether I'm losing weight or gaining it.  I have also stopped writing 3 things I'm grateful for each day, but that's a bad thing, so I'm consciously going to start doing that again (as soon as I've finished this post!). Part of the problem has been that I usually write it before bed, but I've been so busy recently and so tired that as soon as I go upstairs I fall asleep.

This half term I have been driving up and back to Malvern almost every day for yet another dance festival.  My girls did well, though, and came back with 2 medals each: 1 gold, 1 bronze and 2 fourth place medals. 

So, now I'm back home, and DD1 is back in school, I'm trying to get back into the routine of things with DD2. I am currently waiting for a Tesco order to be delivered, so I can make some tasty soups and other meals.  We're watching David Attenborough's Life on Netflix over a late breakfast, and are planning to do some chemistry and algebra today.

Kappa Quartet by Daryl Qilin Yam

My husband recommended this book to me.  He said it was weird, he wasn't sure of the ending, and that he thought I would like it. So after much nagging (partially because I was in the middle of a series or two) I went to read this book.

This book is a bit weird.  It's totally different to what I was expecting, and being set in Japan with Japanese cultural references, I read the first chapter or so, not really understanding what was going on, but wanting to.

The blurb says:

What does it mean to be in possession of something nobody has seen before? Kevin is a young man without a soul, holidaying in Tokyo; Mr Five, the enigmatic kappa, is the man he happens to meet. Little does Kevin know that kappas - the river demons of Japanese folklore - desire nothing more than the souls of other humans. Set between Singapore and Japan, Kappa Quartet is split into eight discrete sections, tracing the rippling effects of this chance encounter across a host of other characters, connected and bound to one another in ways both strange and serendipitous.

But not having read the blurb, as I was just reading it on my Kindle, I didn't realise any of this.  So, after the start of the book, I finally did a bit of research into Kappas, and that did help.  I don't know the veracity of the Wiki page on Kappas, but it certainly was enough to make me understand more what was going on, as well as making links that I hadn't noticed (eg one of the characters is called Kawatora).

The book is very well written, and it holds your interest.  The chapters are separate from each other, and it's only in the latter half of the book, that there is some cross-over, so in addition to the different cultural references, the book does seem to jump about a bit, sometimes in a dream-like way.

That said, it is very strange.  I tend to like books which either have a happy ending, or all the threads get tied up at the end.  That doesn't happen here, with the ending neither being particularly happy (though it's what the protagonist wants) and it being sudden, so there are many unanswered questions.  When I went back to my husband to ask him why he thought I would like it, he admitted that he didn't think I would, but wanted me to read it so I could explain it to him!

Overall, I think I enjoyed the book, but I don't know.  I don't feel like I have wasted my time reading it (so is not a bad book), and it will stick with me because of its strangeness.

Parenting by Paul David Tripp

What is your calling as a parent?

In the midst of folding laundry, coordinating carpool schedules, and breaking up fights, many parents get lost. Feeling pressure to do everything "right" and raise up "good" children, it's easy to lose sight of our ultimate purpose as parents in the quest for practical tips and guaranteed formulas.

In this life-giving book, Paul Tripp offers parents much more than a to-do list. Instead, he presents us with a big-picture view of God's plan for us as parents. Outlining fourteen foundational principles centered on the gospel, he shows that we need more than the latest parenting strategy or list of techniques. Rather, we need the rescuing grace of God--grace that has the power to shape how we view everything we do as parents.

Freed from the burden of trying to manufacture life-change in our children's hearts, we can embrace a grand perspective of parenting overflowing with vision, purpose, and joy.

I bought this book at the Bath Women's Conference last year.  It has taken me over a year to get around to reading it, and in all honestly I wish I had read it earlier.  In fact, I wish this book had been written when my children were younger, so that I could reread it as necessary as they have been growing up.

The subtitle of this book is "14 Gospel Principles that can Radically Change your Family", and there are 14 chapters which go through these ideas in greater depth: Calling, Grace, Law, Inability, Identity, Process, Lost, Authority, Foolishness, Character, False Gods, Control, Rest and Mercy.  In each chapter, we are reminded of the things that we require from God, so that we can respond appropriately to our children.  God knows I need His help!

This is a really practical book, with down-to-earth descriptions of 'normal' parenting, not least as Tripp recounts times when he could/should have done better; so it's certainly not being lectured by a know-it-all.

The other thing I liked about this book, is that it fits with my general parenting philosophy - that we should encourage our children, facilitate their learning and growing, but allow them the freedom to own their own journey.

This book has challenged me greatly, shown me where I can improve, and encouraged me to rely further on God and his Grace, as I try and extend the same to my own children.

Weekly Update No43

I haven't been weighing myself this week. 

I would guess that I've put on weight.  I have not been eating great, not helped by travelling lots for a dance festival (3rd in Junior Modern Groups, and 4th in Junior Modern Trios) so having easy to eat foods (like sausage rolls, crisps, etc) next to me to eat whilst I'm driving.

I am, however, generally feeling better about myself.

I've also stopped writing 3 things I'm thankful for, and 1 thing I value about myself.  I should restart that, because I do find it helpful, and it definitely helps my mood and self-worth.  But I am feeling good about myself. 

What I need to start doing, is translating this increase in self-worth into self-care; specifically physically.  Writing gratitude is self-care emotionally, but I also want to get to a stage where I purposely eat the right things and move my body more, not as a chore, but because I deserve it.

I do live in the future (and almost always have done) and whilst I am slowly getting better at living in the moment, I still think "things will be better when...".  Right now, we're trying to get our kitchen done.  We've lived in this house 4.5 years, and though the kitchen isn't that bad, there's hardly any storage nor work-surface space.  So, the time was right to get our kitchen done up.  We've chosen a local family company, so are no waiting for them to book us in.    But, when the kitchen is done, then I'll be able to meal prep and have much better, healthier foods.  She says.  In theory.  We'll see.

Qualifications are a pile of shit

As you may know, my church group is currently going through the Discipleship Explored handbook that deep-dives into the book of Philippians. Philippians is a short letter (only 4 chapters) that Paul writes to the church in Philippi, whilst he was being imprisoned.  Last night was week 5, which looks at our righteousness in Christ.

As I know many of the people reading this blog are not Christian, indeed many are atheists, I don't want to get too bogged down in religious wording; but since these are words that are used in the Bible, I hope I can explain and define them adequately. According to Wiki, righteousness is defined as "the quality of being morally correct and justifiable." 

Many people think our righteousness comes from what we do (or don't do), specifically, that if we do the "right" things, then we can get closer to God.  Philippians 3, however, reminds us that there is nothing we can do to make ourselves righteous before God.  The only way in which we can become righteous has already occurred - through Jesus and faith in Him.  Indeed, Paul was considered the most "good" or "religious" person of his day, being born the right type of person, learning the scriptures, keeping all the laws etc, yet in Philippians 3:8 he calls all those qualifications a pile of shit. Yes, you may be surprised at my choice of that word when discussing the Bible, but Paul does indeed call it all excrement.  The Lexham English Bible uses the word "dung", The Voice uses "a pile of waste", and whilst most English versions do use the sanitised "garbage" or "rubbish", the Wycliffe Bible uses "drit [and I deem as turds]".

In fact, if our Righteousness is to be found in Jesus, and Jesus is sat at the Right hand of God, then our Righteousness is always before Him. Interesting!

One particular thing about the video that struck me, was when the presenter was asking questions about whether certain things made us feel closer or further to God.  Most of the questions, I could easily answer 'no' to; however there was one that I replied 'yes': If you are asked if you're a Christian, do you reply "Yes, but not a good one"? That is wrong, because Christ is our righteousness.

I do answer that I'm not a good Christian, because I know my sin and I know where I'm trying to be.  It's not that I think doing things will make me closer to God - God is love and desires relationship with us - but I'm also aware that "No one is good except God alone." (Mark 10:18)  The reason why this challenged me particularly is because of the work I've been doing with my therapist on my self-worth.  Have I used this verse as another rod to beat myself with?  Nobody can be good, I know I'm not good, therefore I must be bad, and a bad Christian.  I wouldn't want to venture too far the other way, but if my identity is in Christ and He is my righteousness, then I can be bold and simply answer "Yes, I am a Christian".  I am still a sinner, I sin and regularly need God's forgiveness, but Jesus has covered up my sin so that I can approach God boldly and surrender my heart to Him.

As an aside, though still related, when I saw my therapist yesterday, she asked how something made me feel, and I responded "that I'm not all bad".  To me, this is a positive expression because I'm not all bad.  It acknowledges the bad parts, but shows that I have made progress.  Yet, to my therapist, she replied that my response made her sad, because it shows a focus on the bad, rather than stating that I'm a good person, but am human so will make mistakes.  It made me think.  I am in a better place than I was, and am continually working on my self worth, but clearly I have some way to go.  At least I can rest in being a child of God.