Lorna Doone by R D Blackmore

Every year I like to read a “classic” that I haven’t read before, partly because I want to be considered well-read and be able to join in conversations about books, and partly in case it introduces me to a genre of book that I hadn’t considered reading before.

I’ve wanted to read Lorna Doone since I was a very little girl, because a friend at my first school had an older sister called Lorna who was named after the book. I knew it was a romance, but didn’t know any more of the story.

The blurb says:

Every woman clutched her child, and every man turned pale at the very name of "Doone"'

John Ridd, an unsophisticated farmer, falls in love with the beautiful and aristocratic Lorna Doone, kidnapped as a child by the outlaw Doones on Exmoor. Ridd's rivalry with the villainous Carver Doone reaches a dramatic climax that will determine Lorna's future happiness. 

The book was written in 1869 but is set in the late 1600s, primarily when King Charles II and King James II were on the throne. The book follows the life of John Ridd from a boy who was pulled out of private school because his dad had been murdered, up until much later in life, as he falls in love with and pursues Lorna Doone. Lorna is considered far above his station, as she is a rich Doone, but also the Doones are the local criminals, and the ones responsible for the death of John’s father.

I really liked this book. It is a book that needs some concentration to get into the story, as you are confronted not only with Old English, but some of the characters speak with a Devonian accent that required (for me at least) concentration to interpret. Being originally from Bristol and holidaying often in Devon, I liked that I could place many of the locations in the story, even if some (such as “Bristowe”) have different spelling these days.

This book is a romance, but it is written from John’s pov, and there are plenty of fight scenes and politics that men don’t have an excuse to not read it. Due to the difficulty of the language, that unless the child is a precocious reader, I wouldn’t recommend to preteens (it’s not inappropriate, just the vocabulary), but other than that, this book is suitable to all.

Corsets

From Amazon.co.uk

I read an article the other day about how corsets are coming back into fashion, and that’s a bad thing for women because their sole purpose is body modification in order to look more sexy and desirable to men.

I actually like a corset. I don’t own one that fits at the moment, but I do like the style as something glamorous to wear on a night out, or even dressed-down with a pair of jeans. I wouldn’t wear one to change my body shape, but that could be because before my hysterectomy I had a ‘full hour glass’ figure. I’ve always been fat, with a belly and thunder thighs, but I have always had a defined waist that was at least one size smaller than my hips, making clothes-buying difficult. Since I’ve been in surgical menopause, however, my waist is getting wider and wider. At one point it was good because my clothes actually fit, but now I’m more like an apple stuck on a pair of fat pillars…

Rabbani and Solimene Photography
WireImage

On that article, I saw a photo of Kim Kardashian wearing a corsetted dress, and I was shocked. I’m not a follower of fashion or gossip or celebs, so though I have heard the name, and I know KK is famous for her big bum, I didn’t know what she actually looked like. It just looks really weird. Like REALLY weird. Women naturally have a sexy, curvy shape, but taken to this extreme it looks odd. I suppose, for me, it’s because it just doesn’t look natural. I feel the same about many of the filters you see on snapchat and the like, that is meant to make you look airbrushed, or with makeup on, no flaws and more attractive, but just ends up making you look not real. Do men really find that attractive? I suppose my issue with this type of look is now mainstream it is – not that women look that way, but that it’s accepted (and acceptable) the women and girls want to look that way; as if if you don’t want to look like that, you’re the odd one.

Then there’s the argument that I have in my head about such things. I genuinely believe people should be free to wear, or not wear, whatever they want. An extension to that, is I believe people should be free to modify their own body however they want. Whether it’s piercings or tattoo, whether an extreme* hairstyle or colour, etc people should be free to express themselves. So, if someone wants to modify their body by wearing waist trainers and corsets, who am I to judge? It comes down to who are they doing it for? And much like the people who say they can’t leave the house without a full face of make-up, but claim it’s not society putting pressure on them to look like it, but they genuinely want to go through the rigmarole of hair and make-up sessions every morning; are these women** modifying themselves because they genuinely want to, or because they want to feel more attractive to others, and think this is the only way to do so?

*Now DD1 is going to school in September, I’ve just spent a small fortune on her school uniform. As part of the school uniform policy, there includes a note on extreme hairstyles and mohicans are not even mentioned, whereas very short cuts or bright colours are.

**I am aware that some men wear corsets too. And also some men and women wear corsets not to primarily change their body shape, but as a way to feel pain/control, perhaps as part of BDSM. I feel more comfortable with this, than wearing corsets in order to be more attractive.

Weekly Update No26

(Yes, for those keeping count, there was no No25.)

I've been on holiday, so haven't lost weight.  No surprises there.  I do need to start thinking about what I shove in my gob, and how much exercise I'm [not] doing. My husband is calorie counting, and it's working for him - he's now halfway towards my ultimate target goal, whereas I'm still bobbling over 93kg.

Our cleaner had an operation so wasn't working for over 6 weeks. She's back now, so hopefully this'll encourage me to keep the house and kitchen tidy, which in turn will encourage me to start cooking proper/healthy food again. I having been having smoothies, but I think I need to make more of an effort to only have 1 portion at specified times, rather than drinking a whole bottle over the day (where a bottle is 3 portions of smoothies, or 5 portions of the juices!).  Calorie-wise they are not "too much", but clearly I need to consume even less, and generally be more in control.

So here we are again, halfway through the year, determining to do better.
I am convinced that half the battle is in the mind, so as long as I don't give up, but accept my mistakes as mistakes and move on, then I haven't failed.

A few words about abortion

I want to talk about abortion, but I have been putting it off. Whilst I like to stimulate debate and discussion, and I genuinely do enjoy reading other people’s views, I don’t like conflict and I don’t want people’s views pointed against me.

Being a Christian, it’s easy to assume what my pov regarding abortion is, but it’s actually more complicated.

When I was younger, I did see life very black and white. I can remember having to write an essay on a ‘controversial subject’ for my English GCSE and I wrote about abortion. I quoted Psalm 139:13 ‘For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb’ and Matthew 10:30 ‘even the hairs on your head are all numbered’. I quoted Exodus 20:13 ‘Do not murder’ and Numbers 35:16 ‘But if he struck him down ..., so that he died, he is a murderer.’. I didn’t get a good mark because I was told that I hadn’t argued the other point of view, however to me, there wasn’t another pov: you should always try and protect life. Even if the baby was conceived in a horrendous and violent manner, it’s still not the baby’s fault and they deserve a chance at life.

As I got older, I did start to see life's nuances. Not only did I become friends with women who had had or had considered abortion, but I had my own life experiences that affected my beliefs. When I was pregnant with DD1 I had Hyperemesis Gravidarum, commonly called “extreme morning sickness”. I lost over 3 stone in the first trimester and when I was at my worst, I considered a good day to be one where I kept down a single hula hoop and a single sip of water. I was in severe malnutrition and dehydration and it was affecting all aspects of my life. After I had given birth, I came across the HelpHER website (and wish I had found it earlier), and on the forum the women there were grieving because a lady had recently died. She also disagreed with abortion, so continued with her pregnancy against medical advice, and it resulted in the loss of her life and that of her unborn child.

Pregnancy is hard work on the body and on the mind, and to force someone to undergo a pregnancy isn’t right. Not only is there the risk of HG, but the mother may have other underlying medical conditions that mean pregnancy isn’t advisable. And the reverse is also true, just because a women may not be in prime mental or physical health, does not mean that you should force an abortion on a woman who doesn’t want one. There was a case in the UK recently where doctors tried to do just that. [LINK]

My largest worry about controlling abortion is the unspoken control of women’s bodies. By banning abortion, you are taking away women’s autonomy. By criminalising control over themselves, you are making women second (if not third) class citizens. If a woman does abort a child, you should not incarcerate her, and even if that is the law in the part of the world you’re in, a women should certainly not be indicted for miscarrying! [LINK] Women should not be forced into having back-alley abortions and all the health risks that they entail, because they are not allowed to have medical care that could easily be provided. I have some sympathy in countries where there is not the technology or perhaps trust in medicine and abortions not being carried out there. However, it terrifies me that people are praising countries like the USA for changing the law against abortion. We are nowhere near equality for women, and the few rights that women do have are slowly being eroded and taken away.

photo from metro.co.uk

So after everything, if you were to ask me whether I agree with abortions, I would answer no, I don’t. However, I don’t think they should be criminalised, I just wish they were a service that was never used. Women should be free to enquire about and use abortion clinics without condemnation and oppression. They should not be attacked and abused for walking into one and having to be accompanied by bouncers and the like. Women should have control over their whole reproductive health – access to good education, good information, contraception, abortion (though imo hopefully it wouldn’t be used) and support services during the pregnancy and beyond. There should be health and social welfare so that girls do not consider abortion because they are “young” or women, because they are “poor”. 

The whole of society needs to act in the best interests of the poorest and the weakest members, and sometimes that may be the ‘least-worst’ option of abortion. Just because I could never have an abortion, does not mean I have the right to impose my beliefs on to other people.

Butlin's Holiday

This past week we’ve been to Butlin’s Minehead. 

We have been every year since DD1 was 2yo. I always thought Butlin's was an expensive holiday, and couldn’t understand how other families could afford it (and I still have that opinion if you come at certain times of year). However, we initially used our Tesco Clubcard Vouchers towards our first holiday, and we haven’t looked back since. If you go to Butlin's yearly, then you become a Bronze Member which gives you money off. We’ve found that Bronze membership, plus booking in the January Sales for term-time holidays (yet another benefit of HEing) means that we can afford to keep coming back each year. Usually we come during September, as the schools are back so the prices are cheaper, but the weather is still warm at the end of summer. Tbf to Butlin's, there is enough going on indoors that even if the weather is atrocious, there is plenty to do and not get bored. However, as DD1 is off to school in September, we thought we could fit in one last term-time holiday to Butlin's. I don’t know if we’ll ever be back again.

There are different grades of accommodation at Butlin's, and we’ve stayed in most of them. Our very first year we stayed in a silver apartment, 3 storeys up. Not the wisest move with a 2yo and a pushchair! Since then, we’ve always paid extra for patio (it’s only £15 extra!) as that way it’s guaranteed to be ground floor.

I would also recommend always going for the most expensive accommodation that you can afford. One year we managed to get into the Blue Skies Apartments, that look out to sea. That was lovely, however, we ended up all crowded in one room at night so wasn’t the most comfortable. The apartment was set up so the children were sharing the sofa bed in the living room, however I was still breastfeeding DD2 at the time, and DD1 didn’t want to be alone; hence we were all cramped in one room. The following year, the prices for that accommodation rocketed, so we have not been back.

Last year, we tried the new Lakeside Chalets at Minehead. They were great, and felt really big and airy due to the high ceilings. A slightly further walk back at night (but not unpleasant, and the whole site is walkable, so wasn’t a big deal), and our balcony was out over the lake itself. My husband wanted to go back there, but I couldn’t justify the cost over a Gold Apartment.

We have stayed in a Gold Apartment this year, as we do most years. We get 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen/living room, that comes complete with fridge, mini freezer, oven, microwave and dishwasher. There is a Tesco’s en route to Butlin's, so we stop there on the way before we check-in to buy food for the week. Though it may not seem like a ‘holiday’ if we’re cooking our own food, actually I prefer it to the dining plans that are on offer. We tried them one year, but found the times you got given to eat were too restrictive, and meant the children couldn’t do some of the activities they wanted to. So instead, we stock up on easy-to-cook meals and eat out a couple of times in the restaurants here. This year we have eaten in the Firehouse Grill which is a Nandos-esque chicken restaurant, and today we ate in The Diner, a 1950s style American diner that serves burgers, ribs, waffles and huge milkshakes.

The entertainment on offer is brilliant here. It’s all singing, all dancing, live action etc. (In comparison, last year we went to Menorca in an All-Inclusive hotel and the entertainment were miming to the songs.) There is always a choice of what to do or where to go. When the children were younger, we were running around here and there, keeping the kids entertained, and as it’s almost all included in the price you want to make the most of it. Now our girls are older, things are generally more relaxed. I haven’t even had to make my usual drink for the week! (You are not allowed to take your own drinks into the evening venues as there are bars open. However, they do sell bottles of coke on site. I have discovered that should you refill a 500ml bottle in your apartment, you can take those into the venue. And they don’t even check whether it just contains coke, or whether it also includes malibu…) The extra activities they want to do, though, does cost more. Today they did the High Ropes course, and I had pre-bought (because it’s cheaper to buy in advance) All-Action Passes which allow one free turn (each) on the Bungee Trampoline, Go-Karts, Crazy Golf, Bowling and American Pool. And I’ve not even mentioned the swimming pool with flumes and lazy river that’s included in the price, nor the fair ground where all the rides are free. And the beach is literally on the doorstep outside the resort, with the town of Minehead a short walk away.

This week has gone really quickly, and I can’t believe we have to be checked-out of our room by 10am tomorrow! The girls are sad to be going home, as they are at the end of every holiday. And I’m sad to think this may be our last Butlin's trip. At least I know the girls will look back at our time(s) here and have lots of happy memories. Who knows, maybe we will be able to squeeze in more trips here in the future?

Three Concerts in Five Days

Last week, we finally got to experience the girls’ Christmas presents! As we’re trying to move away from excessive ‘stuff’, we decided to get the girls experiences for Christmas instead – in this case, the girls’ first concerts. We had intended to see P!nk on Thursday in Cardiff, and Bon Jovi on the Sunday in Coventry. Unfortunately, DD1’s singing school changed the date of their show, from the week after to that Sunday! Initially we asked DD1 to decide whether she would prefer to do her show, or see the Bon Jovi concert, but after some thinking, we came up with a different solution – seeing Bon Jovi on a different date.

So, on Wednesday, we travelled up to Liverpool to see Bon Jovi at Anfield. It was the first time my husband and I had seen Bon Jovi for 11 years, and the first concerts our girls had ever been to. They loved it. DD2 was slightly tired, but DD1 was in her element. The Manic Street Preachers were the warm-up band (we’d seen them in concert in their own right, previously) and played all the classics. Bon Jovi was as good as ever, and DD1 loved it, up on her feet and dancing the whole night. JBJ himself was great, and even played the guitar a few times. Tico Torres was looking old, but he is late 60s tbf, and his drum playing was still phenomenal. Dave Bryan looked the same as always, but you only ever see his mop of hair anyway, lol. They had 2 other guitarists, one who reminded me of Robert Downee Junior, and the other had long black hair and was absolutely brilliant on the guitar. The concert was great, with a mix of old and new songs as they played at least one song from each album; from Runaway right up to This House Is Not For Sale. The only really famous songs they didn’t play were Always and Blaze of Glory, but they did complete a 30min encore after a 2hr set.

After staying in a hotel overnight, we drove the next day down to Cardiff to see Pink. While, arguably (and obviously) the Bon Jovi concert was mainly for me, both myself and my girls love Pink. Yes she swears a bit, but her music is great and the message she gives out is fantastic. And her lyrics have caused us to have some interesting conversations about slang, and various cultural sexual references that the girls will need to know about as they get older. I’m a big believer that you should be honest with your children, so though I will explain things in an age-appropriate way I will be honest with them if they want to know what a specific word or phrase means. Pink’s concert was great. Again, she did all her big songs – she didn’t sing my favourites, but I’m not surprised as they are the slower/more depressing songs (my favourites are Family Portrait and Misery). And her concert was A. MAZ. ING! All the concerts I’ve been to have been rock concerts, with a band playing their songs. Pink is a true performer, she entered the stage hanging from a chandelier, and did a helluva lot of acrobatics from trapeze, ribbons and ropes, not to mention her finale when she is flying over the crowd. With hindsight, I am really glad my girls saw Bon Jovi first, as I think had they seen Pink first, they would have wrongly thought that all concerts were like that.

As I was missing DD1’s show, on Saturday, I volunteered to chaperone the tech rehearsal, and I was really glad I did because I got to see most of it. It was Seussical Junior, and was really good. Obviously, my daughter was brilliant – she was a Wickersham Brother – but actually, that singing school has a lot of fantastic singers and performers, and the reports I had heard about the shows on the Sunday say what a success it was.

On Sunday, I went to see Bon Jovi again. I was worried about selling the tickets and getting my money back, but I managed to sell 2 tickets to some family members, the third to a friend who we always see Bon Jovi tribute bands together, and I took the 4^th ticket. Again, we stayed in a hotel overnight, so we were reliant on taxis getting to and from the stadium. This wasn’t the first time I had been to two Bon Jovi concerts in the same tour – the last time was in 2001 and they played a different set in each place. This time was no different. Though my seats were better this time (we were opposite the stage, rather than just having a side-view), Bon Jovi did a shorter encore so they played more songs at the first one.  I did have a funny experience - the queues were really long, so my friend and I went to the stall with the shortest queues: cocktails! So I had two blue pina coladas (pina coladas with blue curacao added), as you do.  When walking back to my seat, I overheard a little girl exclaim to her mum: "I told you they do slushies!" before the mum tried to explain that the drinks weren't suitable for children.

Three concerts in five days was great fun, but very tiring. I’m not as young as I used to be!

Finished Reading the Bible!

I have done it! I have read the whole Bible in 6 months. I have read the Bible through before, but this was the fastest I had ever achieved it. We aimed for 50 chapters a week, and on the whole we managed it; adjusting sometimes depending on what was going on in our lives. It wasn’t easy going, but I am glad I have done it.

Whereas I read every word (I am generally a fast reader anyway), my study partner read some of the books, and listened to others whilst cooking or driving. The idea behind such a read-through is to see the over-arching themes of the Bible, see how books relate to each other, rather than a deep dive into specific topics, so it’s possible to get the gist of what is happening whilst doing other activities. For me, I like to read as I take DD2 to bed. She still doesn’t like going to sleep on her own, so my husband or I stay in her room with her until she drifts off. I know some parents may consider that to be a huge ask, but for us it works – on the nights I take her to bed, I get to do reading on my phone in the dark, and the nights my husband takes her to bed, I get to watch my programs/films in peace.

Having read the whole Bible, I’m not going to dive straight back into Genesis (though there are some people who can do that). By focussing on completing my 50 chapters each week, meant that I couldn’t read the other books I usually do. Normally, I read 1 chapter (or ‘Day’ if reading Bible-in-a-year) of the Bible, 1 chapter of each of the non-fiction books I read, and then as-much-as-I-can of the fiction book I’m reading (and I only read 1 fiction book at a time). As I haven’t had as much time to read, or when I did it was late in the evening, it has meant that I have not read my current fiction book as fast as I usually would. I won’t say to much about it now, as I’ll describe it when I finally do finish it, but I’m only just over half way through the book, and have been reading it for months now. It’s not helped by it being set in the 1600s, so uses very old language, which means I need to concentrate when reading it (hence why I can’t read it late at night). I am enjoying it though, so am looking forward to having a bit more time to read it. What I will do, Bible-wise, is read some daily devotionals/readings books, and then in January, I’ll read a Year-in-a-Bible again.

If you haven’t read through the Bible, and it is something you would like to do (whether because you’re a Christian or because you like the kudos of being able to say you’ve read various works of literature) it isn’t as daunting as it first seems. 50 chapters a week, and it takes 6 months (or 25/wk and it takes a year) or you could get a Bible-in-a-Year which takes all thought away as you simply look up the date and it gives you a reading from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs, such that you’ve read the whole thing by New Year’s Eve.